kanga Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Soooo ... this guy and I have been friends since about July. In August, we started conversing more, even going out a few times to see a movie or go to a bar or whatnot. Nothing was ever officially declared as a date though. I get signals that are quite affirmative that he's into me. And I've told him I like him. Phone calls, gift giving, compliments, it's all there. Yet, it's four or five months later and we're not officially declared anything. Am I too eager to rush things along? Or is this his way of playing me? He's usually a very blunt, honest person and I really don't think he's the kind who'd lead me on if he has no interest. However, I also know that people act odd sometimes. If four months doesn't seem too long, then I can wait awhile longer. But I've never been in this pergatory-like situation before. Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Give him time. Some people take longer than others. If you don't want to wait then ask him where you stand. He is probably just wanting to take things slow to see where you guys end up. Maybe he was hurt in a past relationship. Some people like to give expensive gifts. I would take it as a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kanga Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 OK, that's good to hear. Yes, I know I can ask where it stands. And that's the best thing to do. But if everyone was honest with everyone (honest questions, honest answers) would this board even need to exist? I don't object to moving slowly into things. I've just never been in a position of that happening, of it moving slowly. It seems odd for the guy to want to take it slow. Like I said, he definitely acts like the b.friend at times. And, reversing roles, if he told me that he liked me and I didn't like him, I would certainly have pulled back. And he hasn't done that. That, to me, is good. Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Kanga: Cool screen name. Anyway, I had a point. I understand about the slow-moving thing, because I've always wondered that myself, and I've always been a serial monagamist, rushing into things. Not good. However, the flip side of that is that if a guy hasn't specifically told you your status with him, that's not really good news. I've been dating a guy for 4 weeks, and he let me know right away that although we are not in any serious relationship, we are dating, and exclusive at this point, if the guy you like hasn't said that after 4 months, then I suggest you ask him point blank if you two are dating, and if he stammers, then move on, he's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Sometimes when you have the * talk * alot of men feel pressured and ceremoniously dump you. The talk is either going to clarify your standing or end it completely. If you can't wait any longer then do what you need to do. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Seems like a long time to be unsure of your status. I think you need to have a talk with this guy. Are you sleeping with him? He might just like it the way it is, no strings attached etc. Link to post Share on other sites
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Well four months isn't all that long. Although I do agree that it's maddening! My boyfriend and I met a year ago last June, and we had classes together for the whole year (getting our masters). During spring quarter we began hanging out after class, and he invited me in one day to play a board game, and that became a weekly thing. We still weren't dating but it's like you said, all the signals were there. Finally he told me why he hadn't moved forward... he was in a LDR. So you think you really know a person.... anyway, I had known him for 10 months, and he NEVER MENTIONED it. So to make a long story short, he ended up breaking up with her and we started dating then a full year after we met. So hang in there, four months isn't all that long! (But perhaps you should ask him if he's in a relationship with someone else) Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 hm, sounds like you guys are in this thing where one assumes one thing and hoping that the other person knows the status of whats going on. Well aside from all the usual stuff of bf material, does he kiss you or any of the sort? Im guessing he hasnt kissed you yet, which is why you're not even certain if those 1on1 outtings are dates. Yea anyway, 4 months is too long...even if he is the type that takes it slow, if your needs/expectations arent being met then asking him is probably the best way to go. Perhaps the best option is to ask him, "when am i going to meet your parents?" ...without pushing things out of proportion but giving him space. If he makes excuses for not letting you meet them, then something could be wrong or he needs more time. Let me ask you, what do you want out of this, to be exclusive? Link to post Share on other sites
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