Can't make a decision

[problemsinlife]

I am a wife(married 8 year back) and have 4year old son. From day one of my marriage we were fighting as we both were opposite characters and his family was giving hard time for me and he didn't stand with me. Then we moved to USA and still problems happened. We though of divorce 6 years back but mend it. Thought having kid will make it work but had miscarriage and t took another 2 year to have my son. Even after that our marriage was not good. This year I met a person from Facebook and started being friends. We got attached to each other very soon and I opened my mind to him that I love him. He lost his girl friend in a car accident and was not seeing anyone since 7 years. He also fell for me. I couldn't cope with the fact of cheating my husband so told him that I am in love and asked for divorce. He burst out and threatened this guy and informed my parents. My Dad made me promise I will leave my love and be with my husband. I tried but couldn't do this and we kept talking hiding from my husband . Finally he found out that I was not keeping my word and he asked me to leave forgetting my son. Since I love my son, I couldn't do . He said if I leave all relation with this guy, he can accept me back. I talked to my love and said that I am backing out and that broke that guy. Still I cant love my husband back. My love begged me not to leave him as he can handle second time love failure. I can't think of a day without my love, but I can't handle the divorce and the pain of losing my son.What should I do? My love is ready to marry me if I come out of this relation. My husband is telling me that he cant give me divorce until my parents agree and I cant make them unhappy.What should I do.I am going insane

[preraph]

You are living in the USA. Your father or your husband cannot tell you want to do here! You do not need to obey your father. He has his life. He doesn't get to run your life. That child is your child and the father's child and you must share him if that's what the father wants. But you do not have to keep doing what your father says. Having kids will not help a marriage. Only cause more problems with the marriage.

 

I don't know if you have any money, but it would be best to get a "family law" attorney right away to deal with your family and husband. You will have to work out custody issues, so there's no running away from it with your husband, but you go get an attorney and file for divorce! It's your freedom to do so in the US. Why would your family bring you here if they still want to live by their old country rules.

 

If you have no money or place to go, try calling women's shelters. If anyone in your family has recently hit you, you can call police. If you don't know where to call, call police station and ask to speak with "victim's advocate" and they can tell y ou who might help a lone woman with a child find shelter.

 

Please, be strong. Fight for your life and your child's life.

[tobrieornottobrie]

Have you and your husband considered marital counseling?

 

~ the brie's cheese knees ~

[problemsinlife]

Thank you all who replied. I do agree that having kid is not enough to save marriage as now we have his life in jeopardy. My husband is a good person which I have to admit, but I do not feel the love for him. I talked to some lawyers who are my friends and they stated that if my husband put my affair as a reason for divorce, court will not give custody of my son to me as he is over 4 years old. So the divorce means I will lose my son. I am 32 years old and only thing I am concerned is for my life, am I putting my son's life in trouble as he has whole life ahead. But whatever reasons I give I already went way beyond on this new relation. There is no coming back.

 

 

Can I file for divorce from USA even though we got married in India? How does that work? Thanks for understanding my concern as I really need to share my mind