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What is he thinking?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 1st October 2014, 7:29 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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What is he thinking?

I am 24 along with my FWB. I have been on and off with my FWB for 2 years now. When we first got together he was not with anyone and I honestly thought it was more of a ONS. When a mutual friend found out through very good investigation skills I admitted he was a FB. He was a bit offended about that titled and suggested we were more I asked if we were considered FWB and he agreed.
Soon he got together with a crazy cougar and I was left to carry on with my partying ways. I didnít see him until I went to a club with a girlfriend and he told me about Cougar. He disappeared from earth because she was controlling and was giving him free drugs. Crazy woman told him in front of the club that she will kill herself if he broke up with her.
Needless to say we once again hooked up for a couple months until his female cousin decided to hang out with our group of friends and he once again went to Cougar. I blame his cousin because she was always crushing on him and was even known to hook up with a couple of family members.
Again towards the summer of 2013 we once again hooked up and this is where things got confusing for me and I do believe from him if what was discussed this past few weeks when we hooked up again.
I have always been cool with a FWB arrangement. I am a person who is pretty jaded to love, trust and all those other emotions we like to feel when you are with another person. I blame Disney for the super messed up princesses and crazies that drive men to forget the stabled women. Love is just a word I catalogued in my forbidden dictionary, at least the kind one can describe between two people who are attracted to one another. See super jaded, huh?
Anyways my life was spiraling out of control by November 2013. I had just moved and the people who took over my lease got kicked out, lost my cat in the process along with a couple hundred dollarsí worth of furniture. The landlord would not let me get anything back. I am still paying for two apartments. Oh, also they had the nerve to accuse me of stealing.
I was in a car accident in December 2013 and found out I had to get back surgery. The only surgery I ever had was my wisdoms out at 21 and I woke up half way trying to push the hand away from my mouth. Itís freighting to think I could wake up when they are operating on my back.
My FWB came over and I let him know that I was already upset. An interesting fact is he was kind of living with me. I donít understand how it happened but one day he came over for some down and dirty and just never left. I didnít really mind because I was still doing my own thing and so was he.
Anyways after a night of drinking he starts talking dirty to me. We have always talked about our EXís and other conquestís so there was no secrets , hell I knew he was messing with Cougar even when we were rolling in sheets. Though I donít think Cougar would have taken that fact lying down she was crazy. Back to the story, after talking dirty he tells me about his ex-girlfriend and shows me a picture. I mention she has beautiful eyes and then he starts getting mad at me. Turns out Beautiful Eyes passed way and she was to be his fiancť. Now I didnít mind any of this until he literally went off the deep end and I started to feel quite cheap. Men never talk dirty to a woman and then whine and moan about a dead ex-lover, tell your current lover you can never like another person again, cry and then pass out on her. She will end up having major doubt about your stability her own self-worth and then she will go crazy feeling like sheís your cheap hole and not even a person.
Anyways I had a breakdown due to many other issues that happened around December from my past so December is already a fragile time for me.
Fast forward to now once again heís back in my life. We hang out all day when heís not with Cougar. We do the nasty every evening and morning heís with me and heís with me at least 4 times a week. I think I am a good lover honestly. I prefer to give pleasure than get it and even super high drunk second head is no match for my mouth. Heís a great lover and a major part of me prefers just that, a lover. Though I canít help but wonder. Before we hooked up this last time he confessed he wanted to get to know me and date me but how is that possible when youíre with someone else too?
Thingís I take with a grain of salt most days: He really likes to cuddle, he wants to be around even if I have errands heís along for the ride. He wants to kiss and cuddle even when its day time. Most days heís at my house even if we donít play. He hooked up once again a week after his dating confession. He tells me I give great head and he loveís my kitty cat. I would say I am to please, but I donít allow people to take that as an excuse to try and bend me too far. I am a Leo and a Horse by nature and heís a Capicorn. Also this pissed me off the other day but he tells me heís got to go to his grandma funeral but heís then mentions a few hours later he was actually going to see Cougar for a couple of days. Hello?! We never pussy footed about lover topics and when I called him out on it he mentioned he felt bad and he couldnít understand why he lied to me. He did mention he lied to Cougar who he was with and I understand why, she crazy.
I just guess what I really want to know is should I continue with my FWB even if it goes nowhere because honestly while Iíd love to date Iím too jaded to commit. He would be a safe bet to date if I was looking to date as he know way too much about me and vice versa or should I get one last good romp and tell him to hit the road with Cougar until he can make up his and stop telling me you want to date and never follow through? I will tell you right now every guy Iíve been with has always wanted me to stay but Iíve been too afraid to commit and Iíve ruined a few potential romances that way.
On a bit of a side note, I am dubbed the honorary dude by my guy friends. I had a straight girlfriend confess her love to me because she said I was the ideal boyfriend. Iíve never invited my loverís to my house because I rather do the deed and leave. This particular lover just ended up coming over one evening and I didnít bother to kick him out after the second time we became FWB. Iíve had lesbians hit on me and become sadden when I told them point blank I am straight.
I am a pretty ideal catch I donít need this lover and if for a little bit I canít get flesh I have B.O.B. for back up. Iím just getting tired of games and these years are going by faster and I am looking for someone who knows what they want too.
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