vaci1307 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Ok, so I met my now, friend with benefits about 3 weeks ago. He lives with his ex and let me know from the beginning and I am legally separated from my husband. From the very beginning he chased me. He called me a lot and made plans for us to go on dates and for him to cook for me and he even said that he wanted to buy me things when he got paid. We had sex shortly after, but we were just friends at that point and he told me that maybe we are looking for different things because I want to build something with you. When I asked him to clarify that's when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and I would be very standoffish with him, and not initiate anything, and also act like I didn't really care. No phone calls from me, just him, stuff like that. He brought it up to me before and told me to be myself around him. When I went to see him this past Saturday he asked me why I don't call him and I said that it's good for us to have space. I think that he took it the wrong way because now he only calls me once a day for under 4 minutes. Yesterday, I flat out asked him in a text, what do you want? He called me and asked me what I want and I said that I don't care. He asked me if I'm still seeing my husband and I said no. He then said that, all that he asks is that I don't have sex with other guys and that we can keep things the way that they are and build a relationship later. I'm confused because I thought that we were in a relationship. I really like him, what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 This is an easy one: He wants exactly what he has. He lives his comfortable life with his wife, then when he wants some sex on the side he has you. Then occasionally he gets tired of his comfortable life, he gets to pretend he's going to be with you and live out how great that's going to be. Then he realizes his current situation is good enough and never takes any action to achieve those future plans. So don't worry, you are giving him exactly what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vaci1307 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 He isn't married she is just his ex-girlfriend but thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
sterlingarcher Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Why have you acted like you don't care? (No phone calls, no initiating etc). You obviously care, but to him it seems like you don't care. He is probably confused and is giving you the same treatment as you are giving him. You remind me of my ex when I started dating her. She would say things like "I love you", "I want you", "I miss you" but very rarely took the initiative to show those things. Link to post Share on other sites
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