Does FWB want more?

[Maya_x]

I've been friends with benefits with a guy for quite a long time and in the past it's been very straight forward, we'll text on a Saturday, meet up after being out, I'll make an exit shortly after.

This has been fine I guess because it was simple and I was under no illusions it was going anywhere else, so I managed not to get too attached or jealous of other girls he bought drinks etc, though it did still bother me that we then went back to not talking at all until next weekend.

 

The last time we met up though, things seemed really different, we sat and talked all night and although we still slept together we spooned after and he was texting me during the week, and since then we've had way more contact than usual with him being the one who texts first where usually he'd ignore my existence.

At this point all I was thinking was that our talking made him see me as an actual human being rather than an object and didn't get my hopes up any further than that, but we've been texting quite a lot recently despite not seeing eachother for a few weeks now. During a chat I was talking about cooking something and he made a comment that I need to come cook for him one night, and has mentioned it again since but always as a general statement. And the other day I said I'd been considering going to Amsterdam for my birthday and he said he would come with me but I just assumed he was joking.

 

 

Should I be thinking things could be changing or am I just going to ruin the nice simple thing we had going before?

[Smilecharmer]

Unless he expressly, unequivocally asks for more assume nothing has changed.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Should I be thinking things could be changing or am I just going to ruin the nice simple thing we had going before?

 

 

Been there done that babe, it's no good. If he's got designs on things going further he'll let you know but for now, operate under the assumption that FWBs is all you'll ever be. It takes A LOT of work to get yourself in the right mind frame to maintain a long-term friends with benefits relationship without getting emotionally attached but the fastest way to trip yourself up is to let things like this infiltrate your head. DON'T.

 

As it stands, it simply sounds like he may be A) getting more comfortable with you or B) testing the waters. Although my money is on option A.

 

Beware, some guys like to use FWBs as stand-in girlfriends, replete with all the cooking, cuddling and sweet talk when they want to fill the void of not having a committed partner but also don't want to commit to anyone. Don't fall for that. As I said, if he really wants more, trust me he will let you know. Until then, take everything in stride and remain detached as you have been.

 

Good luck and stay strong but if ever you feel yourself falling for this guy, don't be afraid to take a step back or pull away completely if he hasn't demonstrated that he feels the same.

[preraph]

I don't know. The "come cook for me" is kind of a date. Keeping in mind you already know this guy has women scattered around and wasn't immediately considering you as a keeper, I think I'd go ahead and have him over for dinner and then if he doesn't bring it up himself, I'd ask him if his asking you to cook for him means you're no longer just a booty call. If she says you're still just a booty call but he was just hungry, I'd consider unFWB'ing him for trying to further USE you. But if he says he's starting to like you, then proceed cautiously and let him know that even though you did the FWB thing with him it isn't your normal modus operendi and you made an exception because you sensed he might be worth it or some such BS and let him know that in real relationships, you require monogamy (if in fact you do).

[d0nnivain]

It probably hasn't changed, but he could be pushing the envelope.

 

You could ask sort of I like what we have going on but these quasi date things are confusing me. What are we doing here?