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Total blanking/ignoring by friend. How to stop it?


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damnedifido

In summary.

 

I met someone incredible while in a broken relationship. We became friends. I confided in her - the same r'ship problems happened to her. We became closer. I fell for her, strongly - idiot. I admitted feelings - I had no choice - and the friendship broke down for a while.

 

Then things improved between us. Then she snapped - I was "too focused on her, not my g/f" - and broke all contact.

 

Then we met again months later. Things began frostily, then improved and then disintegrated completely. I never was told the reason why. Only speculation.

 

She unfriended me on FB. Though we "see" each other twice a week (socially) our eyes (deliberately) never meet. There is total blanking. It is a painful experience and I am constantly reminded of the friendship which once was and is no longer there (and which made me fall for her).

 

The tension is palpable. I am terrified of making an approach as I fear it will be open to the worst possible interpretation. We ended up at a dance together the other week and she physically moved away from me on the dance floor. Horrible. She has replied only once to my (infrequent) text messages.

 

I'm not going to pretend I don't still have feelings for her, but it takes reciprocation on her part for that to mean anything. I fell for my friend because of the incredible person she is and I really, really miss that person. In addition, we have a shared circle of friends.

 

It may have been "inappropriate" when I was in the dying embers of my relationship, but I am now (recently) single - she knows this - and I am desperate for us to at least be civil to each other. I would love more of course, but I'm pretty resigned to that not happening. Besides, I have no control over that - I don't understand why she can't see that. She is in control, not me. I'm not going to jump her!

 

Is there any hope for us speaking to each other again? How do I make an approach when all trust is evidently lost?

 

Thanks.

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