CudLRoo Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Just speaking as a 'nice guy' . I've been described by girls as handsome, intelligent, cool, funny, interesting, sexy, 'there's something about ya', I have no criminal record, no enemies, just a generally nice, open and loving approach in a world I consider very wrong. I have no malice, I'm tall, well-endowed (ahem!), employed, solvent, not in debt (never been in debt), generally just a very popular person without even trying. So what is the problem? Why do I just bail, emotionally, when I get involved with a girl, or why do they mess me around?? It's not like I'm even soft, I'm more alpha than most alpha types, I just have this heavy heart part of me that is easily stung, and it makes me feel a bit of a loser. Girls, are there really any chances for nice guys or do the alpha-doms reign supreme? Or, any good/bad experiences with nice guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 It's kinda hard to tell you unless you give a specific example. I can't tell you for sure about other women, but I personally like nice guys. (The pretty face is just good genes). Perhaps the type of woman you're into is intimidated by you? I mean, how alpha are you? It's one thing to be secure and confident but if you come off as a self-centered person then no one likes that... Can you elaborate a little? Is there someone in particular you're trying to impress that's not getting the message? Link to post Share on other sites
amy12 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think people get confused with the "nice guy" phrase, you should want to be the "good guy". Someone who is honest with his feelings, sticks with her even when things get a little confusing or difficult, not a doormat, can make decisions, etc. When you say: "Why do I just bail, emotionally, when I get involved with a girl" well that's not good. Work on being able to be with her...without running off. I even hate the term commit because so many of us get freaked out by that. But then there's the guy who wants all the stuff that goes with a relationship but none of the so called responsibility. IMO it's a technicality, an excuse, and there's no difference unless you really just see her as a FB, the reality is the way you live. If you're living badly then yeah, you have a problem but it goes way beyond a relationship...fix that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Are you a "nice guy" like this? Nice Guy tm meme | quickmeme 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Thanks for the laugh, Mme._Chaucer! I remember reading a similar news article about various profiles on OkCupid from so-called nice guys who were entitled and narcissistic. Very passive-aggressive and self-indulgent with the pity as well. No woman owes a man a date or sex ever. Major turn-off. Be confident. Be reliable and trustworthy. If you want a relationship with a woman don't "bail on her emotionally." That's a serious red flag. A partner needs to be emotionally invested with the person to have success. If you're insecure about something you need to confront it and work on the issue. You need to take time for yourself before handling the commitment of a relationship. I'm sure you're a likable guy. Don't rush into anything. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CudLRoo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Tbh, I possibly wrote that first post whilst in a bit of a state, more through venting, I'd been messed about by a girl and was feeling a tad raw, actually, I think I misrepresented myself with that 'bailing' line, I didn't actually mean that, word it right, whatever, I meant that when hurt comes into the equation and I sense I'm being messed about, then I get urges to run away because the pain feels too great and the NC urges begin. I have never bailed on a woman emotionally, btw! It's a ridiculous post and I am indeed embarrassed by it but why censor myself, even if I'm talking arse-garbage? I've made several mistakes online and I use them as reference points in future, see where my mood was at whenever, can be useful. I wouldn't normally backpedal like this but I assumed that this thread got ignored (25 days between posting and a reply) and was buried in the mists of time, I forgot all about it. Ah, well! Link to post Share on other sites
adelia Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I think it's natural whether your a guy or girl to take cover when you feel you could be hurt. I don't get this whole nice guy bad guy thing just be yourself. If a girl likes you she will like you for you. I don't think there's all good or all bad only mixtures of it that's what makes us unique individuals. If a girl really loves and cares about you she won't judge you. You could say the most ridiculous thing and shed still accept you. Just be you not a good guy or bad guy. Link to post Share on other sites
readytodate123 Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Well, it's hard to tell. It's almost the same question as "is there a chance for nice girls?" We all like nice people, but there should be some kind of chemistry between the two. The credentials aren't really important for that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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