shadow Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 I have been friends with someone for over 15 yrs. Ever since we were 5. He is in a relationship. I am not. We have been spending much time together recently and have developed very strong feelings for eachother. I know this for he has told me he loves me. I love him too. Problem is....his girlfriend. I do not want to jeopardize what may be his future. I do not want to be the pther woman. I will not be actually! I have confronted him and asked if he would prefer some space form me. he flat out said no. He speaks of marriage, life, and even confides in his friends that he would never want me out of his life. Please can someone shed some light? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Was it like I love you as a friend - or like I'm in love with you. They are two very different things and would provoke different advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 I have a guy like this. He REALLY cares SO much about me, yet he has a girlfriend. He's always telling me that its just a matter of time before they break up...but the thing is...they NEVER do. He's always saying how bad things are, and how he's "horribly miserable" and he wants to have sex and stuff with me. Well, I flat out REFUSE to be ANYONE'S other woman. He contacted me again today....saying things are horrid. I told him this "You obviously don't feel like you know what is the right thing for you to do. But when you do, you'll do it and be happy again." Don't let guys play this game to "fix" their relationship. I, personally, don't respect a man who will stay unhappy in a relationship. I mean, grow some balls, ya know? If your friend is talking about marrying you and being with you. Call him on it. Bc you say you are worried about his possible future. Hello, if there was such a future, he wouldn't be thinking about you. He needs to get off the fence and decide what he wants to do and who he wants. And until he chooses, if I were you, I'd back out of the picture. Tell him he knows you care about him and want to be with him, and after he gets his stuff settled, to call you and you two can be happy. But ONLY until AFTER he chooses to leave his current relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadow Posted March 13, 2003 Author Share Posted March 13, 2003 Thanks Girls. To answer the first question. It was a definate "I am in love with you" admission. And I agree about taking a step back from this situation. I am an intelligent mature woman who knows the difference between a comfortable situation and one that could lead to possible pain. And I am going to walk away with my heart in tact. Of course I realize that this too will be hurtful for me but in the long run my ego heals faster than my heart. Besides a great woman once said "Love is friendship on fire: So friends it is! Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 Sounds like you're making the right decision. After all, who wants someone who says they're in love with you - but they are with someone else! Link to post Share on other sites
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