falling for a friend

[Miss vs. me]

I think sometimes, the best advice comes from strangers. So here is my 'delema':

 

Last july 2002 i had developped very strong feelings towards a girl friend of mine. I remember the exact moment when those feelings hit me. (i wont give too many details) It was the day before she left for the summer. And so we basicaly hung out for the entire day. Had a blast just laughing chatting etc. Along the line we got tired and so, took a nap. (something we did regularly). And like a shock, like a knife to my stomach, as i tried to sleep all i could think of was her. Something i have never felt for a person. (how do i make this not sound corny??) as she slept beside me, I could think of nothing else but, turning around and kissing her. It's as if in that moment, i realized how much her friendship meant to me. What she meant to me.

 

So the summer was terrible. Along with looking for a job, I had to deal with her never being around. And me thinking i'm in love with her.

Its feburary and i still have done nothing except try to burry this feeling.

 

Did i mistake 'love' with maybe just missing her? Not having her in the city made me want her so badly?

But my feelings for her continue, even with her here.

 

The fact that she is bisexual should make it easier for me right? That shouldnt make it any different than from the guys i've 'loved'. But still, there is that wall. Societies frown upon homosexuality. not that it should matter.

 

i guess i know the answer. Just telling her. It sounds so simple. But i'm asking for advice either way.

 

thanks a bunch.

[Tony T]

I was reading your post and didn't realize you were female until the end (at least it sounds like you are). It sounded like the greatest love story I've ever heard.

 

So exactly what sort of advice are you seeking. Should you tell her???...nothing to lose, especially since she's bisexual. Will anything long term ever come out of it???...doubtful, it's not often that these types of relationships last. But that shouldn't stop you. If you have a mutual love like the one you described, no way should you pass it by.

 

Again, would really like to know what you're looking for her.

[hershey]

i guess i'm just wondering about the harm that could be done. Even if i'm the only one who can know that. Since this girl is my friend. Would things be terribly awkward after i told her? yes, i am a girl by the way:)

 

cheers.

[Tony T]

If she is a good friend of your and is bisexual, I see absolutely no harm that could come in telling her of your feelings. The dynamics of such a disclosure would be somewhat different, I would think, than a similar disclosure between a woman and a man.

 

She should be very understand and, if she's a real friend, there should be no problem discussing the feelings and moving on from there...one way or the other.

 

But these sort of feelings should not be kept buried inside. They need to be resolved in some way and the potential aftermath should not be a consideration. No making such a disclosure changes the friendship into a lie.