feelings for a friend

[123456]

I have been good friends with this girl for some time now (around half a year). She has without a doubt the best personality of anyone i ever met...shes not only really easy to talk to, but she has such a kind soul. Shes the type of person that wouldnt hurt a fly, wouldnt cheat, and i would classify her as the perfect long-term gf. Shes the opposite of anyone i ever dated, and i often find myself surprised that i never pursued more girls like her.

 

BUT, im afraid to tell her how i feel...not only becuase im afraid of rejection, but because theres so many different reasons holding me back from doing so.

 

First off, im afraid losing her completely if she rejects me. Seeing how i live in a dorm with 5 other guys who are also good friends with her, i dont want to be responsible for ruining her friendship with everyone else from the awkwardness after she rejects me. Secondly, we both recently came out of serious relationships. I dont have any more feelings for my ex, but i was definitely affected by the break up...which makes me afraid that i cant give her my 100% if a relationship starts. I wouldnt say im not ready for a relationship...its more like im nervous about finally entering a new relationship after my previous one. Also, me and her seem like very different people, which makes me very worried that a relationship wont work out. Shes the type of person that doesnt drink, probably still a virgin (im assuming), and is very future oriented. I drink, enjoy sex, and im laid back and often lazy. Generally, we have very different personalities..."opposites attract"?

 

But most importantly, me and her dont have a traditional friendship. I always flirt with her, and im always holding her, we give eachother the occational kiss on the cheek, and we cuddle during movies and such. If she DOESNT like me, im sure i wouldnt be able to get away with all that, not to mention she visits my dorm everyday (although she doesnt visit the dorm just to see me). So there is chemistry, but i also think that its possible that shes playing along without feelings for me back, since acts of physical affection (such as the cuddling) usually comes from my side.

 

So what do you guys suggest i do? wait till she confesses her feelings for me (or lack there of), or should i go ahead and tell her?

[princesspeaches]

sometimes shy girls don't make the first move. I never did, except with one guy, but he's different. I've liked plenty of guys and flirted differently and wished that they would have confessed. I've spent days chilling with just the boys to get to that one boy and made friends with all the other boys thinking that if his friends liked me he'd want to keep me around longer. If she's given you any reason to indicate that she likes you, and I think she has I'd tell her. Follow your heart, don't be afraid of rejection. That is the most silly thing to let you hold yourself back from, I let it hold me back several times. I missed out on many opportunities, but it was all worth it in the end I ended up with the best opportunity because I spoke up and told him. Do what you think is best, don't worry about the other friends. Worry about yourself.

[chilatte]

I am just going my how I am as a female. I would not let a guy "friend" hold me and cuddle during movies if I wasn't into him more. Sounds like you two do a little "more than just friends" stuff and most girls aren't stupid. Do the other guy friends know you like her more than a friend? If so maybe have one of them casually round about question her to see if she really likes you more than a friend.

[123456]

Do the other guy friends know you like her more than a friend? If so maybe have one of them casually round about question her to see if she really likes you more than a friend.

 

Yea, one of my friends knows for sure that i like her. But im sure everyone else assumes that i do. I think ill try asking one of my friends to find out how she feels.

 

Thanks alot guys! u gave me alot more confidence!

[78910]

i'm glad u seem to be having a good time in college. im going to college soon, and it's time for me to move on also. i know u have forgotten eveything about me (for good) but i haven't. i still think about the past and become nostalgic time to time. but its good we broke up..so you can move on with your life..and you did..im very happy for you. ive been single ever since we officially broke up. i dont seem to be able to move on from the guilt. anyway, im sorry this post seems stalkish..ive known about this forum for a while. but i can finally stop checking this because now i know for sure you've moved on. i don't know what's going on right now with you and the girl you like because it's been a while since that post, but don't be afraid to be with her. im glad she's the opposite of everything that i am. i think she can make u happy..from what i've read about her. i know your weaknesses..so stay strong.

and again, im sorry for posting on your forum. i know its a selfish act. but please don't get mad..i just wanted to say the final words.

i promise i'll never contact you again.

[FormerNiceGuy]

You just do it because you want to! It’s as simple as that! It doesn't matter if she is interested or if she hates you. You do it BECAUSE you want her. It is only YOUR interest that matters.

 

Forget reading females - you'll never be able to do it!

 

Stop wondering, "Does she like me? She did this and she did that, that must mean this - that must mean that'.

 

Shut up!

 

Do you like her?

 

No?

 

Then look at somebody else that you are interested in.

 

Yes?

 

Then say “Hi” and ask for her name.

 

If you don't do this, everything here is pointless. This is the first step to take. Focus on your interests, your desires, WHAT YOU WANT.

 

Forget about anything else!

 

YOU are here for yourself right?

 

If someone will get hurt, YOU will be the one in pain, not your friend, your girl or that stranger on the corner! So do yourself a favor, literally and help yourself.

 

If you want her, go for her! Go at her like you've never done before!