oppath Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 My ex was a serial monogamist, not in the sense of having many relationships, but jumping into new ones weeks after an old one ended, or sometimes lining up the next guy before ending the old relationship. Dating for her converged towards a relationship rather rapidly. As a result, with me, I felt used and like a rebound. It often take me several months following a break up to have the energy and desire to date -- not to meet new people, I do that right away -- but to seek intimate connections even without the intention of a long term relationship. Of course, I convince myself my ex has already found a new guy, and I am ok with that. I expect her to be dating and she likely broke up with me in her head long before dumping me. But I find serial monogamy so prevalent. I know not all women (or men) date this way. Some take time for themselves for several months. Many (like me) will date but end the dating relationship after a date or two rather than "seeing where it will lead" for 2-3 months, dump, and repeat with the next guy. My concern with this is WHEN CAN I ACTUALLY ASK A GIRL OUT? So many times, I've met girls and they've been dating a guy a week, so they turn me down!?! And they aren't just giving me a line. 4 weeks later, I don't ask them out, but they are with another guy. I know so many women who, if they go one month without a date, they freak out! When I date some of these women, I feel scared because after 2 weeks, they say stuff like "have you ever felt a connection like this before?" If they have had long-term boyfriends, it feels very insincere. I am more picky and selective, and I "discard" women as soon as I know they aren't right for me; no "just for now" dating. I'd rather be on my own. The problem is, I never meet girls who aren't "dating" someone, or if they are not, I'm wary of people who jump from guy to guy. I am not wary of women who date a lot and date multiple people, but I am wary of anyone who is always dating someone, because to me, focusing on yourself and you own passions is sometimes very attractive. I also find that some of these women lure men in (it can happen the reverse way too) when they aren't ready for a relationship at all; that eventually catches up to them and the guy is hurt (again, gender can be reversed). Is it only the heartbroken who take a few months of dating or refrain from relationships for 6 months to a year?
Topper Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 I believe our whole society is operating this way now. We get in a relationship and you are " faithful" untill something better or something new comes along. Then "Faithful" once again untill things get sticky. Then move on to the next relationship. The divorce rate seems to prove this out. I think in the very near future most people will have had at least 3 marriages before death due you part.
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