GypsyGirl Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 Hi everyone... I've been to this forum before and I can't say I'm happy to have to be back. Anyway, my fiance dumped me today. We've been together for 2 1/2 years, had our ups and downs, but everything has been on the upswing for a while now. Last week, he announced that his 13-year-old daughter was coming to live with us. He sees her weekly but never had a very close relationship with her. She moved into our already-too-small apartment a week ago, and he never had any dialogue with me about this adjustment. And it IS an adjustment, having someone brand-new come live with you. I kept my mouth shut and made the best of it. The ONLY complaint I made was when I entered our bathroom and (I'm sorry, this is gross) she'd left human waste on the toilet seat. This has happened other times she's visited, and I've told him that it's really unacceptable. I was annoyed, but I didn't freak out--I just asked him to clean it up and have a talk with her. Basically, everything was fine. This morning when I left for work, everything was fine. He called me numerous times today, and everything was fine. A half hour before I got home, he called to ask if I wanted soup, because I've had a cold. He was FINE. I get home 30 minutes later, and he says, "We need to have a talk." He said, "I need someone who's going to help me raise my daughter, and you're not that person." So he left me. It got a little nasty. I have a feeling he's not prepared for the responsibility of being a full-time dad, and wants me to take over, which I can't and won't. I guess when he saw that he'd have to do this on his own, he decided not to keep me in his life. I don't know. All I know is that this morning, he gave me tons of kisses, like he does every morning, and all day long, he was fine on the phone, and I MISS HIM like crazy. I don't want to be without him. I don't understand how he can do this to me. He won't even pick up the phone for me. I don't understand how, in the space of a day, in the space of a HALF AN HOUR, he decided to throw me away. And I'm sitting here at my mother's house, completely lost, crying my eyes out, wishing I could just go back to this morning and make this not HAPPEN. This is like torture, and it just began a few hours ago, and I can't live like this and I feel like I'm going crazy. I miss him. I want to be in my own bed with him, the way we were 24 HOURS ago. I don't know what to do.
Guest Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 What tough position to be in. I hope someone comes along and gives you some good advice. In the meantime if he does call I'd mention this is an adjustment for all 3 of you. No one said it would be easy. I'd also ask for some some specifics in what he thinks you aren't doing. What caused her to live with you and not her mom? I wished I had something better to say.
bruno Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 i'm sorry to hear that. i know the exact feeling when you say i want things to go back just the way they were 24 hours ago. i just fell out of a 6 year relationship with my fiance because what seemed to be an overnight decision, now she wants to know what it feels like to be single. i repeated in my head, what happened between yesterday (when things were fine) and today. well, from one broken hearted nj dude to one nj chickie, i'm sorry to hear that. i realize now that ppl can change -- whatever prompts it, who the heck knows, but when they do you just have to put who you thought they were behind you. i realize she's a different person now. maybe he, armed with this knowledge that you won't care for his girl, is different now too. i'm sorry.
Trialbyfire Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 You've left out a lot of detail about your relationship with the daughter. It sounds like she's been telling tales because someone doesn't just walk away in a half an hour.
Jinxx Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Wait till he gets a dose of reality raising a thirteen year old! It doesn't make sense for him to dump you after one week of his daughter moving in. There has got to be more going on here.
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