guin_girl Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I knew it... he send me an email asking if I'm going to the game next Wednesday. It was been a full month of no contact, where he never told me what happened or why he disappeared... I'm shaking... of course for those of you who know my story, I told you this was going to happen, but I sure didn't think he was going to send me an email before the game, I just thought I would run into him there. I haven't responded, I'm shaking like mad right now. I'm sure it's just an email asking for his tapes back... but I don't know what to do... HELP...
shockandawed Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hey GG!! WOW!!! I hope you haven't cracked yet....what is the game again?
RocketMan2 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hey Guin Sorry youre feeling the way you are Just remember all the brilliant advice youve given to me over these past weeks... You know what im going to say, i know you do, but i also know its still good to hear it so here you are... Just think how far you've come in this month, how much the NC has helped. Do NOT destroy all that work because of a moment of weakness. I want you to get off your ass right now, go to the bathroom and spash your face with cold water. Stand and look at yourself in the mirror. Take a deep breath in through your nose, shoulders back, boobs out. Say out loud "I am guin_girl. I'm stronger than this.". Shout it! Deep breaths. You will feel better, trust me it works every time, even if just for a few moments. Hopefully you'll be able to think clearly for a short time too Rocket
Author guin_girl Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 Thanks S&A and RM2... I knew you guys would help... I didn't do the face splashing... don't have waterproof mascara .... but I did take a couple laps walking around the office building and removed his email from my sight... didn't delete, but I'm good with "hiding" things from myself... the out of sight out of mind. I just can't believe he can write after a month with nothing but are you going to the game... no reason, no explanation, no apology This week I received a "chick-fil-a bowl" stuffed cow to commemorate the college bowl game. I had one sent to me and one sent to him, so it may be that triggered his thoughts of me. The game next week, which is MY college FSU (he didn't even go there) and the Phillies (now you know where I"m located... don't stalk me ) and I have tickets with friends of mine already. (friends of his too, if he really wanted to know he can ask them) It's his b'day two days later and I have tickets to arena football and was going to take him for his b'day. (I have another guy going with me instead... a coworker who has been a great sounding board.) I'm just freaking out... one friend said maybe he was checking to see if he can bring a date, but honestly, if he didn't have enough respect for me to break up, why would he care about me to bring a date? Man this sucks... I thought I was doing good... geesh...
Cossette4 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Stay strong... Remember all the crap he's put you through during this entire ordeal. If he's emailing because the NC is working and he's starting to have second thoughts, don't let him off easy--let him go through the loss you've had to experience. And if it really just is an email "to get his tapes back," don't break your NC streak and all of your hard work just to make it easy for him to get back some of his stuff. That will be helping him and hurting you. And seriously, an email....casually asking about "the game"? Show him you don't negotiate with cowards
Author guin_girl Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 I know Cossette... it's lame... but I'm sure it's another selfish reason of his, not because he wants anything to do with me. But I'm not completely sure... I don't know if he's asking to go with me or to bring someone else or to avoid me... The last contact we had (27 days) was when he called and let it ring one time... I called him back playing it off that all I saw was his number as a missed call *which it was since I can't pick up that quick* and left him a "breezy" message... he didn't deem me important enough to return the call, so why should deem him important enough to email him back? he doesn't know that I know about the other girl on his myspace page that he cozied up with emotionally while with me... the one that he mentioned negatively from his high school days *which are almost 20 years ago*... Geeze... too bad that email didn't get lost in a spam filter... my dad's did today, but not his... how's that for a cruel twist of fate!
shockandawed Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Don't worry GG, I limit my stalking to my local area. Too cheap to pay for the gas for long distance stalking. Sounds like you did the right thing by hiding the email. And definitely the right thing by not responding. He didn't have courtesy for you a month ago, so no need to feel any for him. Trust me, there is nothing there but a feeler. I know because I read way into those and screwed up and answered them. Knocked me back but I am doing so much better the last few weeks. Keep doing what you are doing. If you need a date for the game, I think Ratingsguy is a big Phillies fan.
RocketMan2 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 This week I received a "chick-fil-a bowl" stuffed cow to commemorate the college bowl game. I had one sent to me and one sent to him, so it may be that triggered his thoughts of me. Neeeeee narrrrrrr neeeeee narrrrrrr NC-BREACH POLICE!!!! Rocket Ps. What the hell is a chick-fill-a bowl?
Porn_Guy Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Ps. What the hell is a chick-fill-a bowl? i wold like to know also...is it a bowl full of chicken parts?
Author guin_girl Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 Keep doing what you are doing. If you need a date for the game, I think Ratingsguy is a big Phillies fan. Well I won't be rooting for them so I doubt he would want to be with my group... lol
Author guin_girl Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 Neeeeee narrrrrrr neeeeee narrrrrrr NC-BREACH POLICE!!!! Rocket Ps. What the hell is a chick-fill-a bowl? Ok the cow was ordered two months ago... when we were together and he knew about it cause he was on the phone while I was doing it... We were together a month longer after that... you know when he initiated the "relationship" conversation all on his own. So to set the record straight, I did not break no contact... Chick-fil-a is a fast food restaurant that sponsors a college football bowl game... it's really cute... has a little shirt on that says "punt the burger, pass the chikin" (cows can't spell) here they are http://getacow.com/
dropdeadlegs Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Geeze... too bad that email didn't get lost in a spam filter... my dad's did today, but not his... how's that for a cruel twist of fate! <delete> Oh my gosh, it WAS the victim of a spam (Special Person Appropriately mad) filter! Then again, I gave you the advice to return the missed call which he conveniently ignored, so now I'm mad, too! I wish you could take back the cow, too.
underpants Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hey Guin, It sounds like he got the cow and wrote you a casual response. Nothing more. It is so hard, but for your own sake, stop trying to analyse his one liner into alternate meanings. Also, I wouldn't respond, or contact him back in any fashion. On the off chance you see him at this game, just ignore him or be as indifferent as possible, think to yourself that you have 1000 boyfriends or whatever positive thought gives you a glow. Put your game face on so to speak. I can't believe he blew you and the relationship off, then simply ignored a message you left, then just a duh, hey email. Cowardly to say the least. I really have to believe that karma kicks these people squarely in the buttocks. Anyway, don't contact him. Let him feel what it is like to be ignored for a time.
Author guin_girl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 Hey Guin,It sounds like he got the cow and wrote you a casual response. Nothing more. It is so hard, but for your own sake, stop trying to analyse his one liner into alternate meanings Hey thanks for the response UP... it wasn't even a response to the cow. literally it was a one liner asking if I was going to the game next week, that was it. But I did not respond, and I'm proud of myself... If it was all that important, he would have called too... one sad little one liner does not deserve a response from me!
Author guin_girl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 <delete> Oh my gosh, it WAS the victim of a spam (Special Person Appropriately mad) filter! Then again, I gave you the advice to return the missed call which he conveniently ignored, so now I'm mad, too! I wish you could take back the cow, too. awwww DDL... thanks for the support... I can play that "SPAM game" when I see him at the game... cause of course I'm going... told him that back then, why would it change now... just so glad I am part of a group and not by myself!! I have my own cow, it's really cute... but yea... he doesn't deserve something so cute... including me
Author guin_girl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 Amazing how one stupid email can throw you into turmoil... my head has been spinning all night and I didn't get much sleep at all. Now I scared to even open my email box for fear of seeing his name pop up again... I'm staying strong, but it's so frustrating, I was just getting to the point I was ok and actually sleeping... sigh
shockandawed Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 GG, I know that all too well, one stupid email, or text etc.....and here comes the dark circles again, ugh!!!! Hang in there, you are doing great. Yes, "Are you going to the game/" is a chicken s*(t comment and not worthy of any type of response from you. To carry a theme from another thread that you liked, You need a MAN, not a sackless wimp who hides behind vague emails because he too scared to speak openly to you. He is nothing more than the Chikin the Cows wants us to eat. Hey, that sounds pretty good, off to Chik-fil-A
Author guin_girl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 S&A... that was funny and cute... thanks for the laugh... it's going to be a long lonely weekend... this sucks... and I just know I'm going to be a nervous wreck going to that game now... This is EXACTLY why I do not date at my bar... I don't want this uncomfortable feeling... it's my sanctuary that I can relax and be me... now I will be on pins and needles... my friends will be good though and be supportive I hope.
Porn_Guy Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Chick-fil-a is a fast food restaurant that sponsors a college football bowl game... it's really cute... has a little shirt on that says "punt the burger, pass the chikin" (cows can't spell) here they are http://getacow.com/ since when are cows bipeds G_G?
Author guin_girl Posted February 26, 2007 Author Posted February 26, 2007 UGH... two days and it will be the "face off"... I am so nervous... What do I say to him? how do I react? Do I ignore him? Do I talk to him? I don't want to see him with someone else.... That will hurt... but I know that his issues won't have changed... if there is a new person, he will be the same drunk with anxiety issues, with a torch for his exwife... that won't have changed in just a month. But I do know, if he starts drinking... "if" oohhh that's funny... WHEN he starts drinking, I know he will feel comfortable coming up to talk to me... I have to stay strong... I will be sure to limit my beer intake to keep my wits about me... Man, this sucks and I'm making myself all upset over this stupid guy... UGH... could I put one more "face" in this post... apparently so
shockandawed Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 GG, Aren't you going with a group of people? Does he know your friends? Good idea on the limited beer intake, I tend to get sappy when I have had a few. I know what you are going through. I live in a metropolitan area of over 400k and yet I avoided going to the largest mall here this weekend because of fear of running into her with someone else. You know what you need to do if and only if he comes to you. BE INDIFFERENT and short. Act busy and happy, ACT ACT ACT!!!! I am fine, thanks for asking, yourself, ok, nice talking to you..gotta run. Is there a male you can take along that he doesn't know? Have someone call your cell phone while you are talking to him and tell him you gotta run..... Whatever you do, don't let him see you sweat..
Author guin_girl Posted February 26, 2007 Author Posted February 26, 2007 GG, Aren't you going with a group of people? Does he know your friends? Yes, they are friends of his too... so it will be very natural for him to come up to us Good idea on the limited beer intake, I tend to get sappy when I have had a few. Well I can go either way, it depends on how I am before I start drinking... if I'm sad and depressed, it's just worse.... If I'm mad... WATCH OUT... I can really lash out... so I want to play this right, we are going to be in many situations where we will see each other... this will set the precedence. I know what you are going through. I live in a metropolitan area of over 400k and yet I avoided going to the largest mall here this weekend because of fear of running into her with someone else. Well I think I would be ok with that, cause I could play off that I didn't see him, and then come on here and cry... but I can't pretend I don't see him when he's right in front of me You know what you need to do if and only if he comes to you. BE INDIFFERENT and short. Act busy and happy, ACT ACT ACT!!!! I am fine, thanks for asking, yourself, ok, nice talking to you..gotta run. What I could do is have my headphones and listen to the game on the radio... that wouldn't be a surprise to him, I listen to the radio often when watching a game... as he does too... now watch, the game won't be on the radio. Is there a male you can take along that he doesn't know? Well I am doing that for Friday night, so I got one game covered, but this is with a group and the tickets are already purchased. Have someone call your cell phone while you are talking to him and tell him you gotta run..... Well they will all be sitting right next to me, so that would be really obvious. Whatever you do, don't let him see you sweat.. Well you know, he was the jerk, he should be afraid to come up to me... I was nothing but supportive and caring throughout the whole mess. When I didn't like how he was treating me, I calmly sat down with him to discuss how I felt. Never ever raised my voice to him and was calm and even keeled every time with him. I tried to be as understanding as possible, even though I couldn't know what he was going through with his divorce, but I was there to listen and be supportive... I did absolutely nothing wrong, other than to maybe hold onto someone who doesn't have it together... Look, no faces oh... dang it...
Author guin_girl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 Well no more contact, so I'm not sure why he threw out the "are you going" email... tomorrow is doom's day... I've been a nervous wreck and haven't slept, so I won't be looking too spectacular wanted to have that "knock him dead" look... I can knock him out with the "baggage" under my eyes wish me luck with the face to face meeting... UGH
shockandawed Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 GG, Relax...you will be fine, we have faith in you. Just remember though, if you feel the urge to do something stupid, you will have to explain it to us later. LOL!!!!!
oppath Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 Remember too that it is OK to excuse yourself if you start feeling bad or anxious. Go for a little walk. Exit the situation. Collect yourself. And return. Best of luck. I might see my ex this weekend too. Uuggghh!
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