sweetie91589 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Im still so pissed about this whole situation (READ: my other thread about him just dissapperaring out of no where) Well yea..anyways..things were fine..now he's gone.. hasn't called... anddd i honestly want to flip out on him cuz i am so pissed--but im OBVIOUSLY NOT going to..makes me look psychotic..i know that. So ..if he still doesnt call..how can i get back at him?? I know it sounds childish but it's the biggest thing that helps me move on.. suggestions? :-/
humblegirl Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I think if he's not calling then he may not be interested. If you don't know why he left call him and ask him why he does this to you. In my experience the best way to turn a guy off is to chase after him.
Guest Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 The best revenge is living well. Yes its that simple.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 read the book "He's just not that into you". he's not worth getting back at, i know ur pissed but MOVE ON AND FORGET HIM!
Star Gazer Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 YOU made the mistake of having sex with him too soon before you even KNEW if he was really, genuinely interested in you. YOU shouldn't be trying to be a child and "getting back at him" when he didn't do anything wrong. MOVE ON. Stop wasting all your time and energy on someone who doesn't care.
dropdeadlegs Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I really think that moving on and living happily is the very best revenge. It doesn't matter what he thinks, it matters that you think he lost out.
konfuzd Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 YOU made the mistake of having sex with him too soon before you even KNEW if he was really, genuinely interested in you. YOU shouldn't be trying to be a child and "getting back at him" when he didn't do anything wrong. Ditching her out in his apartment, leaving her to find her own way home is not wrong? Are you serious? He led her on, and dissapeared without having the balls to just tell her things weren't working out, or he was freaked out or whatever the case may be. He is the bad guy here, regardless of whether she slept with him or not. He was there too, ya know, he made the decision to act like a pussy and flake out. I agree that she shouldn't try to get revenge, but come on, he was rude and in my opinion deserves an apology. Although, he obviously lacks the maturity to do so. I agree with the other posters who say the best revenge is to be happy without him. Don't feed his ego by letting him know he even crosses your mind.
norajane Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on. Harboring all this resentment and desire for revenge hurts only you in the long run. The longer you hold onto this, the more damage you are doing to yourself and your well being. Just let it go. There isn't anything you can do to him because he doesn't care.
Star Gazer Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 . Ditching her out in his apartment, leaving her to find her own way home is not wrong? Are you serious? He led her on, and dissapeared without having the balls to just tell her things weren't working out, or he was freaked out or whatever the case may be. He is the bad guy here, regardless of whether she slept with him or not. He was there too, ya know, he made the decision to act like a pussy and flake out. I agree that she shouldn't try to get revenge, but come on, he was rude and in my opinion deserves an apology. Although, he obviously lacks the maturity to do so. I agree with the other posters who say the best revenge is to be happy without him. Don't feed his ego by letting him know he even crosses your mind. I read her posts very differently than you do, that's clear. I believe in behaving the way she has, she has brought this all upon herself. She asked HOW TO GET BACK AT HIM, and my response was simply that she shouldn't be trying to get back at him. She needs to focus her energies inward. I said it before, and Norajane agreed with me - he doesn't care about her. The fact of the matter here is that he didn't DO anything to her. She is not a VICTIM here. If she wants respect, she needs to COMMAND respect. In this case, she didn't. It's not HIS fault that he didn't treat her with any respect or consideration...she taught him how to treat her. And so what if he was rude? She can't control him, only herself. But she's only 18... I imagine it will take a few more years for her to figure that out.
stace79 Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 The best way to get back at anyone who hurts you in life, not just boyfriends, is to keep living and to LIVE WELL. Trust me, I am completely in love with someone who does not love me. I know how the situation will end. The things that make me feel better are: 1. Working out and making myself feel and look my best. 2. Doing things I love...driving around blasting my music, going to see movies with friends, doing volunteer work with my dog, cooking out with family. 3. Being a good person....REALLY...the hope I have -- and what I KNOW -- is that someday down the road I will be through this, and he will see what a great person I am and know that he screwed up. I know this in my heart. Seriously, the best part of life is finding out what you love and what makes you happy OTHER than some man. Be secure knowing that YOU are taking the high road, and HE is the lowlife who just disappeared. Oh and I also listen to that Justin Timberlake song about what goes around comes around.
konfuzd Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 I believe in behaving the way she has, she has brought this all upon herself. She asked HOW TO GET BACK AT HIM, and my response was simply that she shouldn't be trying to get back at him. She needs to focus her energies inward. I said it before, and Norajane agreed with me - he doesn't care about her. The fact of the matter here is that he didn't DO anything to her. She is not a VICTIM here. If she wants respect, she needs to COMMAND respect. In this case, she didn't. It's not HIS fault that he didn't treat her with any respect or consideration...she taught him how to treat her. And so what if he was rude? She can't control him, only herself. But she's only 18... I imagine it will take a few more years for her to figure that out. How did she behave that brought on his rude behavior? If he's giving all signals that things are going well, and he keeps inviting her out, and I'm assuming he is the one who initiated the sex, how exactly is she deserving of being abandoned? Please explain this to me. From how it sounds, he was respecting her (or at least putting up the front) up until the point he decided to simply flake out with no explanation, I don't know how you think this is her fault. She had no idea this was coming, otherwise, I'm sure she'd have acted differently.
Star Gazer Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 How did she behave that brought on his rude behavior? If he's giving all signals that things are going well, and he keeps inviting her out, and I'm assuming he is the one who initiated the sex, how exactly is she deserving of being abandoned? Please explain this to me. From how it sounds, he was respecting her (or at least putting up the front) up until the point he decided to simply flake out with no explanation, I don't know how you think this is her fault. She had no idea this was coming, otherwise, I'm sure she'd have acted differently. She was assuming things were going well. They had just met and wound up in bed having drunken sex. They barely even knew each other! She's 18, he's 23. Have you not been in this situation or seen it first hand? The respect didn't exist from the get go because she pony'd up her poonany as if it was nothing more special than a twinkie...and she tolerated his flakiness long before she walked into her friend's room and he "disappeared." He thought she was a random girl he could hook up with and then ignore BECAUSE SHE PORTRAYED HERSELF THAT WAY. Reread her first post about this guy disappearing when SHE thought things were perfect. The signs were there and very clear that he was NOT into her the way she was...and I simply don't have the energy anymore to point out the obvious anymore. As K would say, "*facepalms*" p.s. I really, really hate to say this, but... even her picture/avatar belies the fact that she's not commanding respect...... there's a difference between sultry/sexy and trashy. I think there's an entire other thread on this concept.... Just sayin'....
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