lovekitten95 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 When do narcisstic people leave the person they are dating? Anarcisstic peron is someone who thinks only of themselves, their needs come first above everything else and they have no empathy.
confucious Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 They leave when: The demands of thier partner for consideration, respect, and thoughtfulness become too annoying or difficult to handle.they leave when it is evident they are not going to be "allowed" to think only of themselves.They leave when they feel like it because, after all, it IS just about them!! Better WE leave when we notice how self absorbed they are...
kitten chick Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Good post confucious. I would also add that they will leave when they find someone that they are attracted to and who is more co-dependent than the person they are with.
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 They leave when they feel their needs and egos aren't being met anymore by that particular person. Usually they'll start over with someone else, until they tire of that person as well.
jebo Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 They leave as soon as soon as the truth comes out and they cant handle it. Some can handle what they have known about themselves and be willing to change and exhibit it and some are pretty much doomed to go down a path that has one of several endings. One ending is that they end up alone and old (regreting what they did). I have seen this first hand with a family member who tried to make amends too late. The other ending I have seen is that they meet someone just like them who burns them just as bad as they did to someone else and they have no one to feel sorry for them. I dont think this changes them but it forces them to sort of quiet that ego and face it for a while. I only suggest they can change somewhat because I had a guy friend who was narcissistic and he kinda got the message when people stayed away. He is much easier to deal with in small doses but its a start.
polywog Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 I guess I'd be summing up what others have posted, but they leave when their SO comes to their senses, in my experience.
Guest Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 The best description is they are emotional vampires. Once they've sucked you dry its on to the next victim.
Tezza115 Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 In my case he left when he found someone that didn't know his past or history and who is becoming dependent on him, eg. needs a visa & money to come in to the country. Except he doesn't see it that way, he thinks that she desires him totally...
2ndIINone Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 Wow... Currently I have a 'friend' in and out of my life that's been displaying strange characteristic traits for yeeeears. So I decided to look up the word narcisstic (not having a clue what it meant) and what I've been reading was very disturbing to me. In fact, a little upsetting. But it's good know ... I'm not the crazy one... but rather was just manipulated into thinkin' I was the crazy one. http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html for those who want more info. Thanks for this post. The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a while -- a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) -- the narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson, you won't answer that call. They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change -- they want the world to change.
marlena Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 Very interesting posts!! Just wondering though, What makes these people so compelling, so attractive to the point that extricating yourself from them is almost a Herculean feat?
EmotionalBlackMail Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 Wow, I enjoyed this post because I have been dealing with a person that is very narcisstic. When do narcisstic people leave? Are we speaking about friendships, relationships, etc? I think, in general, a narcisstic person will leave once you stop feeding their ego. I have noticed that extremely narcisstic people latch on to people that will deal with their bull****, pay them compliments, and make the narcisstic person feel as if they are the only one that matters to them. They want it to be all about THEM. They want your world to revolve around theirs and once it doesn't, that's when they're gonna leave. Marlena, you ask what makes these people so compelling. I think a lot of narcisstic people are extremely good at sucking you into their world. Many of these people seem to mask exactly how self absorbed they are in the beginning, and when you discover it, it seems too late because you are so involved with this person. You're right; extricating yourself from them takes so much effort. That's why it's so hard to leave these people, whether it be a friendship or a relationship.
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