Caliman07 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 A little background......I started dating this woman last May (I am 26, she is 27), I met her b/c she lives in my apartment building. She came up to my apartment one Saturday, and we just hit it off from the beginning. We dated through the summer and through the fall and it was wonderful. We had so much fun together and there was so much there between us. We have so much in common, and have so much fun together. There is one thing that hung over the relationship, though, and that is she has a pretty serious medical condition. I never let this bother me, but when it came back around October, it started to affect us. I did my best to help her, and gave her all the space she could use b/c she wanted to be alone at night to pray and read, and i definitely did not want to be in her way. Things were still going good until around December, when she started to act distant. I took notice, but didn't really say anything b/c i knew that she was going through alot and I didn't want to pile on (looking back that was probably not a good approach, but i didn't want to cause her anymore stress). We didn't see each other over Christmas b/c we both went home. When she came back, i had a hard time getting her to get together with me, so in early January, i went to her apartment and laid everything on the line and told her i loved her and all that stuff. That was when she told me her feelings had changed and that she wished she had not said she loved me so hastily (i told her i loved her several months back, and she reciprocated, and we said it alot). I ended up emailing her a letter and get everything off my chest a few days later, but some of it angered her, but she understood why i did it. The following weekend, she had a guy stay with her (who she told me was just a friend), and since, he has been over there several weekends. It is obviously her new guy, and it kills me to see it since we live in the same building. The thing is this guy is from another state, so she is doing a long distance thing now (which she told me when we first started dating that her previous few relationships were long distance). I'm not sure where or when this guy came into the picture, but she had not led me to believe he existed until the beginning of January. I love this girl. I did so much for her, and gave her so much. We had so much fun together. I have been doing no contact with her for about the last month, but i broke down yesterday and emailed her to see how she was doing (I had a lunch date yesterday with someone else, and we just didnt have the same easy conversation that my ex and i did at the beginning of our relationship and it saddened me). We have pretty much had no contact, except on Valentines Day she sent me an email telling me to have a wonderful day. I know she has a new guy, and all my friends tell me i am too good for this, and i probably am, but I love her. I can't stop thinking about her, and it is compounded by the fact we live in the same building. Although I shouldnt want to, i want her back so bad and i dont know what to do. Sorry for the long sob story, but i need some advice. Thanks.
Guest Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 One of the saddest things in life is that someone you love doesn't love you. I am experiencing it right now myself. My ex dumped me recently and told me that he lost feelings for me. This is the same man who told me until very recently that he loves me and wants to marry me. Anyway, I know it's easier said than done, but you've got to accept that the relationship is over. If I were you, I would try to move if that is an option. Don't put yourself through the agony of knowing that she's only a few floors or doors away. Find comfort in knowing that you did what was best at the time and it didn't work out and now you've got to move on with life. I'm telling that myself, too. And don't forget to take care of yourself as you grieve your loss. True love doesn't abandon you. This obviously wasn't your true love. Best wishes.
Author Caliman07 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 I have not talked with her on the phone for over 1.5 months and a simple email is all i have sent her (which was a couple weeks ago just to say hello). Last night i got a voicemail from her saying, "I was driving home from work and i just wanted to say hello. Hope all is well. I'll talk to you later." Now what is the point of calling now? I'm assuming she's just fishing to see if she still has me wrapped around her finger. I still have feelings for her no doubt, but i've had alot of time to think over the past month. Plus, i have gone out with another girl a couple of times. Should i call her back, or just let it be?
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