blondie86 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hi, i'm new here I've been seeing this guy for about six months now. It's my longest relationship ever. He is the nicest guy ever, he tells me he loves me, makes me meals buys me flowers, takes me out. We went away for the weekend. He is so good in lots of ways. Sometimes i think i love him, or really like him. In other ways he annoys me, he can be too set in his ways, his veiws on life totally different from mine. He makes me feel suffocated sometimes. I just don't feel for him like i should. I don't feel like i want to be with him long term and i feel like i'm stringing him along. He's 22 and although young is starting to think longterm. Just when i started going out with the current guy a guy from work who i had already known over a year decided to tell me that he really likes me, loves me and tried to hit on me pretty much all of this time. He had known me for a year before, and although occaisionally flirted with me, never made any move, and he's not shy, he wuold if he wanted to. The thing is over the coruse of this time i've grown very fond of the guy from work, and i think i really like him. He makes me laugh,a nd i can talk to him and relate to him even though he's very different from me. I was off work for a fortnite and a new girl started in our work, she's quite pretty, tall dark haired and tanned, not stunning though. The guy i work with usually goes for short girls like me, usually blonde like me, and pretty much i'm his type. But tonight was the first nite i'd worked with them together and he flirted with her all nite, it was like i didn't matter, even as a friend and if he treated me lkike a friend i'd be happy because i do like him and currently do have a boyfreind. I gave him a lift home as usual but she lives near him so i gave her a lift too and he barely said a word to me in the car, but flirted with her, and when he left he never gave me a kiss on the cheek as usual. I know i'm stupid and he's probalby not worth it, but i cried all the way home, and he's so totally in my head. I knew something was different before i went to work, because he hadn't phoned me at all after my first few days off, and normally he phones or txts a lot, and when i phoned him on saturday nite, he was quite brief on the phone. I feel so hurt and messed about, he convinced me to liek him after he knew i had a boyfrined, then goes on to someone else like i don't matter, he made me feel special and now i feel like nothing and it's horrible I know it's my fault becasue i have a boyfriend and should be happy, but it's hard when im' always with the guy from work. I need some advice.
Author blondie86 Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 I really need some advice on how to face the guy in work. I'm going to be workign with him tonight and i know it's likely he'll flirt with me again, and i don't know how to react. I'm really shy and find it hard to confront people. I feel like an idiot, because everyone i work with knows that he liked me, he went around telling people how much he felt for me, but now they'll see him with this other girl.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I feel so hurt and messed about, he convinced me to liek him after he knew i had a boyfrined, then goes on to someone else like i don't matter, he made me feel special and now i feel like nothing and it's horrible he didn't CONVINCE u to like him..u decided to like him all on ur own..while u have a bf!!! u dont have any reason to be jealous over this other girl, ur unavailable so the dude moved on to a girl who wasnt. do ur bf a favor and break up with him, instead of stringing him along. tell this dude then that u broke up with ur bf and that u have feelings for him. maybe if he still likes u, u guys will have a chance. but BREAK UP WITH UR BF. if ur this upset and jealous over some other dude, obviously u dont care for ur bf like u should.
stillafool Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 he didn't CONVINCE u to like him..u decided to like him all on ur own..while u have a bf!!! u dont have any reason to be jealous over this other girl, ur unavailable so the dude moved on to a girl who wasnt. do ur bf a favor and break up with him, instead of stringing him along. tell this dude then that u broke up with ur bf and that u have feelings for him. maybe if he still likes u, u guys will have a chance. but BREAK UP WITH UR BF. if ur this upset and jealous over some other dude, obviously u dont care for ur bf like u should. This is so true. You are using a guy who has told you he loves you and you don't feel the same. You should let him go. As far as "types" go - any girl who is pretty is a guy's type. No matter what he says. The guy you like sounds like a player and it's always best to avoid mixing love with work.
Author blondie86 Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 It's not that i want both as such. I'm happy with my boyfriend mostly, even though i feel a connection with the other guy. But it's like he only told me he liked me after i had a boyfriend- i think he liked the idea that i was unavailable. This other girl also has a boyfriend. I'd be happy if he went with her but still treated me like a friend, but it's like i'm nothing he's completely ignoring me, yet i know next time i'm alone with him or we are on a works night out that he'll start hitting on me again. He's oneo f the first boys who i've ever really got a long with ,and i feel pretty close to him in a platonic way, even without any romantic feelings, it hurts to be tossed aside, especially when i hear him saying all the same things to ehr that he did to me. I know it's my fault, i understand i should either be happy or dump my boyfriend and that i'm treating them both bad to an extent, but i've been so shy in the past, and it''s ther first time i've really experienced relationships and people liking me. And it came along at a time when i was pretty depressed and messed up about a couple of guys who messed me around really badly- My boyfriend makes me feel safe and secure.
Road Rage Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Blondie86 Probably what is going on is that you are just unhappy in your current relationship. But we all miss an available opportunity once the door is closed. I think you felt great having an option from your current relationship and now are beginning to realize how important that option is now that it is slipping away. After all, you did not take the chance when you had it so there must have been some reservations there too. I had a chance with a couple of women but was already in a relationship. I didn`t want to go in two directions at one time. But the relationship has now ended and these women no longer available (one is married and the other one says she has found her man) I have to always wonder what might have been because I see both of them regularly. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence too. There are the ever present human emotions of jealousy (you see something that could have been yours slip away) and envy (you see another woman get what you could have got) We catch hell from these two emotions. It`s somewhat normal to experience them even when there is little to desire. But just be your normal self with this guy. Acting any other way is going to be obvious to everyone.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 It's not that i want both as such. I'm happy with my boyfriend mostly, even though i feel a connection with the other guy. But it's like he only told me he liked me after i had a boyfriend- i think he liked the idea that i was unavailable. This other girl also has a boyfriend. the guy sounds like a player then..some guys love to go after girls with bfs. its like the forbidden fruit crap. i honestly dont think this guy is even worth worrying about, he sounds like a jerk. i think u may have liked the attention he was giving u, and u feel that since ur unsure of ur current relationship, this other kid is filling the void. if u want to be freinds with the dude from work, than just tell him so. My boyfriend makes me feel safe and secure this should not be the only reason to stay in a relationship. ur still so young, and there will be other guys. if u are having doubts, maybe talk to ur bf about what u think is missing. it doesnt sound like ur all that happy if ur crushing on some guy at work though. thats something u might want to think about.
Recommended Posts