boshemia Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 So I was asked to make a list of qualities I want in future relationships but evertime I try I can't get past the beginning without focusing on what I don't want... I need help here... What is the number one quality you seek in a healthy relationship? Mine? Unconditional Love I'm tired of relationships where I am either a good girl or a bad girl, if I am a good girl I am loved, if I make a mistake (like forgetting to take the trash out) they sit on the sofa drinking and don't speak to me for a week or more. Love is love, love me when I'm good, love me even more when I am bad.
Road Rage Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Trust is the most important quality. To have deep feelings or love for someone you don`t trust is very painful. Trust is a sort of barometer of a relationship because it is a composite of all actions. The term building trust is very accurate.
Guest Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Actually I think working out what you don't want might be a very good idea. It's how I came to my present career!!! I worked out stuff like 'I don't want to drive a truck, I don't want to work in customer service, I don't want to work in sales, I don't want to work with food... etc etc.' I worked out a lot of this 'what I don't want to' by doing those above jobs ie jobs I've had include sales, customer service and working with food - restaurants. (By the way I'm not saying these are terrible jobs they were just not jobs for me). So after a world of infinite possibilities I came down to qualities that were important to me, that then helped me focus on what I did want to do and the ways to achieve it... which has pretty much lead me to my current job and occupation that I really love. And now that I've just written all that down it seems like an incredibly good idea to apply to relationships.... hmm... I might go do that... thanks boshemia
konfuzd Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 You can turn anything negative into something positive, just state the opposite... for example: I want a guy who won't stand me up, take off without warning = Iwant a guy who's reliable and dependable. I want a guy who's not a lazy-ass = I want a guy who's motivated and active I want a guy who doesn't treat me like crap, or doesn't treat me like some princess on a pedestal = I want a guy who treats me as a partner/ an equal. Obviously, if there are things you want to avoid, these things need to be replaced with something you disire. There must be something you want to gain from a relationship, otherwise, why even bother? PS- Nice shirt
Steaminx Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 Mine? Unconditional Love I'm tired of relationships where I am either a good girl or a bad girl, if I am a good girl I am loved, if I make a mistake (like forgetting to take the trash out) they sit on the sofa drinking and don't speak to me for a week or more. Love is love, love me when I'm good, love me even more when I am bad. I try and love my girlfriend this way. Although I do get angry with her at times (not for garbage reasons) I always tell her that I don't love her any less. Everyone makes mistakes. They should be loved even more when they make mistakes, especially if their self-esteem isn't the best and they already beat themselves up over it. Unconditional love should be number one for everyone looking for a healthy relationship.
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