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So it's been a month since she suddenly moved out. I've stayed away from the alcohol. We had one joint session with the councilor and then I did a solo 'cause she had to fly to Atlanta for her new job (she says). I've stayed at work, been going to a my own councilor, on a diet and working out 5 days a week. Lost 15 lbs and feelin pretty good. That's about a 1/4 of the way to my goal weight. Realizing that my own self doubts and insecurities were behind a lot of this. As well as her own. Add a huge load of stress over the last 2 years and things just went to hell in a handbaket..

 

One downside is that I'm still dealing with some anxiety and am bit obsessed with her and what she's doing. Kept it under control pretty well until I made a little slip the other night. For some dumb reason I decided to call her dad just to let him know I was doing OK. Well, that just set her off. According to her he called her drunk late at night and then at work and just caused a bunch of crap. So her response was to blame me for everything and stop the counciling. I realize that I slipped and broke one of the buster rules. Still I can't be responsible for her dad's actions either. She could be looking for any excuse to push things to a close. I get a little gut feeling I'm not getting the true story from her but at this point, whatever. Gotta let it go and live my life. Maybe later we can work things out, or not.

 

So I was sitting at work today and a light bulb suddenly went off. Time to get outta dodge for a while. Checked some flights and called an old buddy. Flying to FLA for some warmth, healing ocean and distance from everything for 10 days. Not a bad thing to see some ladies in bikinis either. Not planning for any action but nice scenery never hurts. I'll come back more relaxed ,a bit thinner and tanned. Then I hope I'm better able to deal with this stuff.

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