stressedoutwife Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hey guys! I have been married for 7 months now and I am starting to have my doubts! My husband will NOT work! I mean he will, he just doesn't understand when I try to tell him that we HAVE to have money coming in, or we are going to lose everything..our house, our vehicles, etc... I have tried to talk to him, but he won't make the necessary adjustments to get us back on track. We are in debt up to our ears and he can't figure out why I am upset. I work 4 jobs to make ends meet, and I can barely get him to work one!!!!!!! I am thinking of leaving him because I am so stressed out. This has been going on for a year now...Don't get me wrong, when he gets a job, he will work, but then like right now, he hasn't worked in 3 days and we have $1,200 worth of bills due and he has NO PAYCHECK!! Why doesn't he understand that this is not fair for me to keep going on like this? I was better of by myself than like this. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I am always nagging on him. I don't think he is trying to find a job that will keep him busy. (he works in construction and winter gets tough I know this, but there are plenty of things that he could do to make up for lost wages) The last response I got was, I am too good to get a 2nd job!!!!!! What the hell!?!?!?!?!?! Please help anyone! Stressedoutwife
Curmudgeon Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Hey guys! I have been married for 7 months now and I am starting to have my doubts! As much as I hate to say it, after so short a marriage but under the circumstances as you describe them I'd be approaching ultimatum time (and I usually don't believe in those). I'd give him some of absolutes: 1) Get a complete physical; 2) explore the possibility of a clinical depression; if everything physically and mentally is alright then 3) get a decent job; 4) keep the job or get a better one but don't leave one until you have another; 5) repeat #3 and #4 as often as you have to in order to stay employed; or 6) SEEYALATERBYE!
SoleMate Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I can't say it any better than Curmudgeon. Nagging won't work; simple reasoning won't work; whatever you're doing now clearly does not work. Get firm and try a program like Curmudgeon lays out. The only problem is, with 4 jobs you really have very little time or energy to follow through on dragging him to a doctor, etc. I feel for you, sister.
Guest Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Was he like this before you married him? If he was then you knew what you were getting into. Did you both sit down and discuss what your expectations after marriage were? If it happened after marraige I'd really be questioning if he was looking for a sugar mamma. So what does he do all day? If its play on the net then cancel it. If he wants it he can get a job and pay for it. Cable TV? Same thing. His favorite meals? You guessed it. What kind of man sits on his ass while his wife works 4 jobs? A lazy one. A spoiled one. I'd let him know you just can't stay in this type of relationship. Either he chips in or you will cut your losses before the debt becomes even worse.
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