Knittress Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I've been dating a man with a six year old child for a year and a half. Lately the little one has starting saying that she loves me nearly every time she sees me, and I'm not sure how best to handle it. I usually say, "Aren't you sweet" and give her a big hug, but I know that's probably not the response she expects, and she seems slightly put off by it. I worry that not saying the typical, "I love you too" might make her feel rejected, and I don't know, give her issues, or something. Maybe I should just say the 'darn' L-word. I do miss her when she's gone, and care about her well-being actively, maybe I DO love her - but children are completely outside my realm of dating-experience and/or life experience. Saying the L-word sounds like a commitment to her, and I don't want to hurt her if her father and I end up breaking up. Any advice?
quankanne Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 you can tell her that she is very dear to you, too, and you care for her very much. Or you can bite the bullet and tell her you love her back and that will never change even if other things do (i.e., a break up with her dad). lucky you – little kids don't always warm up to grown up, so for her to profess her love, you must be very special indeed.
Art_Critic Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 lucky you – little kids don't always warm up to grown up, so for her to profess her love, you must be very special indeed. I agree... Children are so innocent with their feelings.. they don't use those words unless they feel them. There is nothing wrong with her saying she loves you.. try no to deny her that as those are her feelings and she should always be able to say how she feels about you. there also is nothing wrong with her telling you how much she loves you and you not responding with a I love you back.. if that is what you want to do.. kids are tougher than you think. When a person loves a child it is a different kind of love that a BF/GF feel.. Personally I would tell her that you love her.. it doesn't take anything to love a child.. I love tons of kids...
Trialbyfire Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 There are different kinds and levels of love. You might not love her as your own but that doesn't stop you from loving her for the sweetie that she is. You don't have to say it in an intense way, just lightly say "love you too honey". Even if things don't work out with her father, it doesn't mean that you have to stop caring about her or that her life hasn't been enriched with loving you. If you can't say that, say "I missed you so much" accompanied by your normal big hug, so that she feels some reciprocation for her emotions.
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