Theessence13 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Hi everyone, i'm 18 years old and my girlfriend and I have been together a little more than a year. We both talk a lot about our relationship and we both realize that odds are it won't last forever, but we can make the best of it. Our problem is that the only time i can see her is at about 8 at night, until about 11 or so. Only a couple times a week due to work and school. When we hang out we can never figure out what to do with each other. A lot of the time i end up getting tired because i'm fairly bored. I like her being there with me but my mind needs something to stimulate it to keep it awake. We usually just end up sitting/laying down on the couch and watching TV or a movie. Sometimes we'll go out to dinner or a movie or something but we really don't have any activities at all that we have in common. I like video games, computers, and i play guitar a little bit. Her on the other hand, has no hobbies or interests of any kind. The only thing she does to pass her time is school and work. We need to figure out something we can "do" together... Since sex is the only 'active' activity that we do together its also starting to feel like that is what the relationship is all about. Thats not true at all but you can see how it may feel that way. We both understand this situation but don't know what to do. Is this a common situation for relationships or do all lasting relationships need common hobbies/interests? Also do any of you have ideas on what we can do together? The time we get to see each other severely limits our options though i do see her on Sundays all day sometimes. Thanks a lot
Lauriebell82 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 well when u've been together awhile, the "going out all the time" phase usually does decrease. my bf and i spend a lot of time at home just hanging out and watching tv and movies. we do like things we enjoy doing together. do u two like to work out? me and my bf take walks in the park and go to the gym together. we also like walking about the mall, going to bookstores and just browsing, going to the movies. i only usually see my bf on the weekend because its a LDR, so maybe the next weekend u are together, u could plan a whole day of stuff to do. that being said, are u sure there is nothing she likes to do besides work and study? have u asked her? surely if u guys have been together for a year u must have SOMETHING in common. there is nothing wrong with staying in and watching movies together, if u dont out of and do things very much. yes its fun once in a while, but staying in can be very relaxing and u get a chance to spend time with each other and bond, just the two of u. maybe ur gf really likes to be close to u like that. anyway i hope i helped u.
Vanquish Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Holy shi* that is my relationship to a T. Any thoughts would kick ass on this. I'd say she has to have some sort of hobbie, my girlfriend enjoys riding horses aside from working/school but we watch alot of movies and do the dinner thing too. Are you the talker in the relationship? I've found that with me my girl is shy'er then me and the talks we have are good and funny but they are always kept going by me. I like the simplicity of it but yeah I agree, i do find myself getting bored with the same old routine, and having crappy shoulders doesn't help mein that department. So any thoughts on this would rip.
Author Theessence13 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Posted February 21, 2007 yes i have talked to her about the hobby thing, she really honestly doesn't have a hobby at all. She has been used to just hanging out with a bunch of friends at her church youth group but doesn't want to do that anymore, and hasn't for years. Neither of us really talk a whole lot but she does more than me i guess. If i wanted her to start working out with me how would i go about asking her that without her thinking that i'm saying she needs to work out or lose weight or something. I would love to do that, good idea. Also keep in mind the time-frame that i have to work with here. I generally just see her at night. I've been trying to help her find a hobby by giving her suggestions all the time but nothing seems to appeal to her. I need a hobby convention or something :-p
Lauriebell82 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 If i wanted her to start working out with me how would i go about asking her that without her thinking that i'm saying she needs to work out or lose weight or something. I would love to do that, good idea. Also keep in mind the time-frame that i have to work with here. I generally just see her at night. do u know if she has ever worked out in the past? maybe what u could do is ask her if she wants to go for a walk sometime. that of course is exercise, so maybe build her up to the idea. does she enjoy exercise? if she does, maybe u could tell her that u would love her to work out with u sometime, just to spend more time with her. (this could occur on the weekend). also back to the walk idea, u could probably take walks at night. its actually very romantic to be holding hands and looking up at the stars. it may be too cold for that yet, depending on location. where do u live?
Author Theessence13 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Posted February 21, 2007 there's still snow on the ground here. I live in the US in western New York. I like that idea for the coming months. Last spring/summer we did that pretty frequently. I personally would like it to lead into more working out. Most likely cardiovascular workout would make the most sense but i'd be open to just about anything. Though i'm not sure how i would go about getting her to work out with me without feeling embarrassed because she can't do as much as i can (i could lift more, do more reps of whatever, run faster/further). This is especially due to her being very out of shape. I'm just thinking that may complicate the situation. Still, very good idea on walking/working out. Everyone else please still feel free to give me and Vanquish some more ideas. Thank you so much for replying to quickly too. You've really helped a lot already.
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