Guest Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I have been with my boyfriend for a year. He is 21, I am 19. He/his family are from a part of town that is not particularly known for being classy. I am from a more prestigious upperclass part of town. Not that that should particularly matter... but there seems to be a lot of differences that make it seem like we are from two different worlds. He still lives with his family. TEN people live in a two bedroom row house. He does not even have a bedroom, he sleeps on the couch. He is the oldest and has a teenage sister and three little children in the family. First off, I do not understand why a poor family would have FIVE children! Secondly, one of the ten people living there is the SIXTEEN YEAR OLD daughter's boyfriend! This is beyond my grasp. Their parenting is completely beyond my comprehension. She was arrested for smoking marijuana in a parking lot and the parents thought that getting arrested for a day was punishment enough. The younger children all know what humping, dicks, faggots, etc. are and get in no trouble for saying things like that. My boyfriend sailed through high school with straight D's. His parents did not push him or his siblings WHATSOEVER. Turns me off so much. ok, now... I am a sophmore at a really good college. I did incredibly well in high school and am continuing towards my graduates degree. When I met him he was a roofer. He used to call out sick when he wasn't and act irresponsible. He wasn't in school. He quit that job for a great job that he got at a hospital. It was a full-time job and he made about 2,000 a month. His bills (for his cell phone and car) cost him 1400 a month. He spent the six hundred left on I don't even know what. He has NOTHING saved in the bank. Not a penny. He bought his car new which NOBODY in this stage of life should do; it cost so much yet he cares more about stupid things like that than an education. He buys dumb songs for his phone, video games, unnecessary things. He eats fast food everyday. Basically, he spends unnecessary money left and right. I FINALLY convinced him to attend a community college and work towards a nursing degree. His life plan before that? Nothing. Basically, he was waiting for some dream job to fall into his lap. Apparently, in his eyes, 21 is too young and he still has PLENTY of time to think about a future. Anyway, because his job was full-time, he took one class a semester. His first semester, he got a B in his first class. He was unable to continue the next semester because he got fired from his job for being late too many times. He was unemployed for a month. The first five days he refused to even look for a job because "I just got fired, I was overwhelmed". This is his first day of work at a sub shop. He claims he will go back to school as soon as he saves some money to do it. IS HE JUST A BIG LOSER? Everytime I tell him that he is showing no motivation, etc., he says that he has by getting a B in his class. Also, he says he got fired because his shift got changed to 3am and that was too much of a transition. He says I wouldn't know because my parents pay for school, etc. Someone tell me what you think PLEASE!
shakeNbake Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Ok here is my 2 cents worth:bunny: .....as i see it, i wouldn't really call him a loser but he does have alot of growing up to do. If he doesn't straigten up soon....i would drop him like a bad habbit! Think about it....his whole life is probably living with alot of people who sleeps on the couch, some on the floor....and since thats all he knows, thats whats in his head therefore he will act in the same way when he gets his own house someday. If u are still with him then, u will be living that same life and I personally wouldnt want to raise my children in that type of environment. Its deffinately up to you though. You seem like u are going somewhere in life and u need to focus on that instead of constantly trying to motivate him, he is going to end up dragging u down in the end trust me....I would talk to him and give him a chance to do better but if not I'd try to find someone who is on the same page as u are, and it doesnt seem like he is.
sweetie91589 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 it's really hard to say... i mean i was probably raised really similar to you and its hard for us to understand because we were very fortunate to have parents that could pay for things...however, on the other hand he is 21 years old...he should be able to hold a decent job..and the whole schooling thing..doesn't seem like he cant do it finacially...just seems like he's lazy..it's one thing to be lazy when you're 18..but i mean..i dont know. A lot of people who are 21 still live at home...thats fine ..but at least have responsibility and be able to hold on to a job. Some people may say he's a loser because he's not really trying to make something out of his life it seems..but that doesn't mean he isnt a great person...try talking to him...maybe he has ADD and doesnt know it....a lot of people who have ADD can be very lazy and unmotivated...that's how i was until they put me on adderal.. well...good luck--hope my imput helped somewhat:D
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