Guest Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Hi guys, I'm gutted this morning. My ex and I had a real heart to heart last night. It has been 7 months since we split and we see eachother practically everyday since as she studies at the University I work at. She also works at my reception part time. Since Xmas we have got on like a house on fire, practically best friends always laughing and doing things for eachother. On Friday we were both out and she was very drunk and was 'with' this guy all night. It really annoyed me and so over the weekend and yesterday I ignored her. Last night she cornered me and we had a long chat. She was vey apologetic about the other night and admitted she should have shown me so much more respect! Yet as we were chatting she wanted to be honest and said she is sort of seeing this guy now. We chatted more and I explained how I don't know if I could be her friend anymore. She said to me she didn't ever want to lose me and would end it with this guy straight away if it meant she would lose me. I said I could never ask her to do that as I just want her to be happy! She had already fallen out with her best mate that day and said she didn't want to lose 2 special people in one day. We left the chat with lots of hugs etc.. and when I got home I wrote this to her on facebook - Hey beautiful, Your life is not going wrong, it is just starting! You have loads to look forward to and nothing to regret looking back. Your funny, brilliant, sexy, beautiful and perfect in all sense of the word and I couldn't wish more happiness for anyone else. I miss you lots and I hope you are so happy now and in the future. I love you and always will and don't ever change! Thank you for understanding why I found it so hard and still do and it kills me knowing I might have to loose you to get stronger, and it also hurts because I so want to be there for you all the time especially when your upset, and be a shoulder for you to cry on and an ear for you to talk to, and a hug waiting for you if you need a cuddle. But whoever is lucky enough to be your best friend and partner in the future will hopefully realise never to let you go, and if they do then they are all numpty's! I honestly thought I was fine to accept you seeing other people but I'm obviously not, and that is why I feel I can't be your friend because it's not fair on me but most of all its not fair on you! I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope he realises what a catch he has! Nothing is going wrong in your life, be strong, head high and be the Melissa I know who has a dream and has a passion! Thats is the best thing anyone can pocess, so hold onto it! Everything for you will turn out fine, I know it because I know you. Love you with all my heart Big hug N xxx P.s Thank you for everything you've ever done for me, I don't think I ever said it enough when we were dating. She wrote back - i wanted to write something long and amazing back but i just cant match that... thank you so much... i cant believe what ive lost... im so sorry for my horrendous actions... ill miss you xxx Then later in the night she started a convo online - Thanked me for the message again, said she didn't deserve it, congratulated me for a football victory, and said she doesn't expect me to reply back but she appreciates everything I did for her too! Her status last night on face book was "I'm looking at the bigger picture". She is working today all day and I've past her a couple of times and not looked in her direction, and she smiled/grinned as if to say 'hey' and I just did the same back. Have I done the right thing? I'm gutted because I want my best friend but maybe it will make her think what she has lost!?
oppath Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Well, yes, you did the right thing. You asserted your boundaries and asked for what you needed in a caring, polite way. Absolutely, you did the right thing in this sense. Keep your interactions with her brief until you are in love or you truly don't care who she dates.
ratingsguy Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 You absolutely did the right thing. Now you have to focus on moving on. I would start by deleting her from you instant messager so you don't have the constant reminded that she's there. Good luck, brother.
Steaminx Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 You should be happy that you ended on such a good note. Just because it's over right now doesn't mean this is the end. She could have an epiphany in the next couple days and realize she needed you all along. You did the right thing by not salting the relationship. Ending on a good note is probably the best thing you could have done. take care.
Am4Real Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 Ending on a good note is all about CLASS! Good job, you will never regret being the best person you can be. Here is great quote from George Bernard Shaw that may reinforce your good actions and your values... [highlight]People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. [/highlight]
Trialbyfire Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 Good quote from Shaw. You know that letter will make her doubt her decision to have called it off. Ouch, that must have hurt.
Am4Real Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Good quote from Shaw. You know that letter will make her doubt her decision to have called it off. Ouch, that must have hurt. The thing is (at least for me and my experience whether having been dumped or being the dumpee), almost without fail if you leave on a super positive note and go separate ways, both persons tend to wonder about the decision. Then poof, you or the other person meet the "one" and all that wonderment ends! Only each of us can personally define the "one"...
justagirlforever Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Yes, you did the right thing Loving her and letting her go to grow. You sound like a very sensible guy with your head on your shoulders and your feet on the ground. It also sounds like you guys have a great friendship - but right now, the way her life is leading her - difficult for you to fully accept. You're almost there - just let go. And if you are true friends - she will come to you in her own time & space - as a friend. Am4Real - that's a great quote - and so very true
Johnny B Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Yes you left on a good note. It can only be a good thing for you in the end. I hope I've done the same with my ex despite a lot of wishing and trying in the past few weeks to get her back... The sad part for me (if anyone followed my thread) she told me that she thinks she FOUND her ONE !! So for me, it seems quite bleek... for you, hey if it's meant to be then it's possible. Johnny
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