It's (Mostly) His Fault

[redfathom]

I just picked this book up today, since I seperated from my H on Sunday (hopefully not permananetly) and let me tell you, it is great. I am only two chapters in but I LOVE It. The Funy thing is I did not buy it because I think my H is at fault, I was just interested in the title.

 

The great things is it is written by a man married for 35 yers and a therapist who talks to men as a man would, straight forward and honest. He says it;s every mans duty to become a good husband. He also says, " As a marriage therapist I will do whatever it takes to help a man become a good husband to his wife...I will teach, coach, exhort, correct, confront, judge, joe around and argue with a guy. Tell him he is being an azzhole if he is"

 

Here are some excerpts I found online:

 

After thirty-five years of marriage and thirty years as a well-respected therapist and marriage counselor, Robert Alter has discovered three fundamental facts that can radically change the way couples solve their marital problems:

1. Most men, deep in their hearts, want to be great husbands but don't know how.
   
2. There are specific ways to relate to a woman, and specific ways not to. (In other words, a woman does come with an instruction manual!)
   
3. The idea that men and women are equally responsible for the problems in a relationship is, quite frankly, a bunch of crap.
   

Based on the premise that a real man can take criticism and learn from it, this sure-to-be controversial book shows husbands how to get out of the proverbial dog house and back into the arms of a wife who wants them again. Through forty-four short, eye-opening chapters that don't pull any punches and cover such topics as "Is There Good Sex After Marriage?", "Is Your Wife a Nag?", "The Five Big Lies That Keep You from Changing", and "How to Know When You're Being a Man as Opposed to When You're Being an *******," both husbands and wives will find real-life, practical answers that lead to genuine change, understanding, and intimacy.

A journey to the marriage of your dreams, It's (Mostly) His Fault is for every couple that wants a new start-and a happy ending.

Part of me loves and respects men

so

desperately, and part of me thinks they are

so

embarrassingly incompetent at life and in love. You have to teach them the very basics of emotional literacy. You have to teach them how to be there for you.

—Anne Lamott

Marriage is a relationship . . . You're no longer this one alone; your identity is in a relationship

.

—Joseph Campbell

Let's face it, we men don't know squat about relationships. We don't really do relationships. We do work, we do sports, we do cars, we do wars, and we do sex (which is what often passes for relationship with some of us), but we don't really do relationships.

"His idea of a relationship," said Margo of her husband, Paul, in their first session, "is he comes home from a three-day business trip, tired and cranky, says a perfunctory hi to me, who's standing there at the door to greet him, stoops down to hug the kids for a few seconds, then makes a beeline upstairs to shower, change his clothes, and come down a half hour later. He sits down with us at the table where he gobbles down his favorite meal, which I've spent two hours preparing for him, hardly says a word to us, not a word of thanks to me, then gets up and goes into the den and turns on the TV and falls asleep. If I question him about it, like, 'Is this your idea of a relationship, Paul?' he either looks at me like I have two heads, or he gets mad at me. I really don't think he knows what I'm talking about. I'm not even sure he knows what the word 'relationship' means."

What we men mostly do is alone. "I am a rock, I am an island" . . . "Jo-Jo was a man who thought he was a loner" . . . "Desperado, you've been out ridin' fences" . . . that sort of thing. Even relationships we're in-like our marriages-we do them alone, or try to.

This drives women completely nuts.

Because women do relationships. They like relationships. They find their very identity in relationships and connections. In the same way that it is the nature of water to be wet, it is the nature of women to be relational.

This is somewhere between quite surprising and totally incomprehensible to most of us men.

But it makes sense, when you think about it.

Because women are totally biologically built for relationship. In pregnancy they carry another human being inside their bodies for nine months, which is about as relational as it gets. In the early years of their mothering they're nursing that baby night and day, which is also about as relational as it gets. In lovemaking they open up their beings and their very bodies to another human being, which is also about as relational as it gets.

Women, it is clear, are relational.

And you went and married one!

What were you thinking?

You probably weren't thinking, but if you had been, here's what you could have been thinking:

I'

m

a guy. I don't know squat about relationships. If you want to know the truth, I'

m

scared to death of relationships, the reason being that there's a secret little part of me that

so

needs a relationship, that's

so

dependent on a relationship-with a woman, with this woman who I married-that if I ever admitted it, especially to myself, the sheer power this woman has over me, I'

m

a goner.

So

this dependency thing-I'll repress it, forget it, deny it, make fun of it, get mad at it, do everything but own it as a part of myself. In this way I will present the image of myself as an independent loner type, a mature man, a manly man, a regular John Wayne, off by myself, out ridin' fences . . .

If I don't get honest with myself here, I'll spend the next fifty years of my marriage off by myself ridin' fences, moving from one self-constructed isolation booth to another-work, TV, sports, pornography-silence, alcohol, depression, pornography, work-while my wife's over there lip-synching Roy Orbison's "Only the Lonely" and looking in the yellow pages under "Divorce Lawyers."

Hey, guys, the women are lonely!

You can diagnose them with depression and pump 'em full of Prozac, but they're really just lonely.

Did you hear me? Our wives are lonely.

So let's get honest with ourselves here.

I started getting honest with myself in 1969. Twenty-four years old. Two years out of Cornell, in graduate school in Boston. Rooming with a fellow graduate student in a house by a pond in a suburb of Boston. Jane, twenty-one, a senior at Cornell, visiting me from Ithaca. Our first weekend together. A cold, snowy Sunday afternoon in late December. A walk through the woods. Snow crunching under our feet. Talking. Getting to know each other. Talking about ourselves.

"I'm quite happy by myself," I was saying. "I don't need anybody."

I'd been saying it for years-to girls, to myself, to everybody: I don't need anybody. It was my mantra. Coming from the family I came from, where we all lived in a kind of silent seclusion from each other, no wonder I said it and completely believed it.

I don't need anybody.

It was total bull****. The opposite was true.

"I don't need anybody," I was saying to Jane, the two of us walking up a wooded hill, our boots breaking through the snow, her mittened hand in mine. "I really don't. I'm happy alone. I don't need anybody."

She stopped, turned to me, took my forearms in her mittens, held me still, looked up into my face. Her light blue eyes were sparkling in the falling snow.

"Yes, you do, Robert," she said. "You need me." And broke out into a big, beautiful smile.

In getting honest with yourself it helps if you meet a woman who sees right through you from the beginning of time.

All over the earth, since ancient times, women have been carrying the message of connection and relationship to us men. In bringing that message they also bring the messages of kindness and caring and communication, of human cooperation, of tending and befriending, of trust and love and peace.

Women know the way: It's the way of relationships. Of human connections. Of getting together and talking and listening to each other. Of liking and helping and having a good time with each other.

Of love.

Don't you get it?

Your wife is trying to teach you love.

It's like Dylan says to a woman in one of his songs:

Love is so simple, to quote a phrase

You've known it all the time, I'm learnin' it these days.

Women are love.

"You need me," said the woman who loves me.

What you need is your wife.

What the world needs now . . . are the women!

And as soon as possible 'cause things are gettin' kind of scary here on the planet.

The Move

Hey! You're married to a woman! You're in a relationship! With her!

That means you're supposed to stay connected to her. Here are three simple things you can do today to stay connected to her. Do one or two or all three of them.

1. Right now go find your wife wherever she is in the house and ask her how her day went. Like if she's in the kitchen fixing a snack for the kids, go in there and sit up on the counter and say, "How'd your day go today?" or "Tell me about your day today" or something like that. And then listen.
   
2. When you leave the house today for work or to do errands or to go outside and do yard work, leave a little note on the kitchen counter: "See ya, honey. Love ya. You look pretty today."
   
3. When the two of you are watching TV together tonight, instead of sitting in your armchair, go sit next to her on the couch and put your arm around her. When the commercials come on, mute them and tell her little tidbits from your day.
   

These little daily connections are the stuff of relationship. You're in one. The fact that you're married to a woman means you're up to your ears in one.

A Word to the Wives

All the Moves at the end of all these chapters are designed to bring your husband into closer relationship with you. Most of them will be new and unfamiliar behaviors for him, and he'll be stretching outside his comfort zone to try them.

So when he tries them, try to make him feel as comfortable as possible by welcoming him when he approaches you and responding positively when he does the new behavior. Tell him that you see and appreciate what he's trying to do with these Moves and that you hope he keeps making them as he reads through the book. Give him a hug and a kiss, and tell him you're proud of him for doing what he's doing. Remember that we're men, which means that your welcome of us is huge positive reinforcement for us all the way through.

 

Copyright © 2006 by Robert Mark Alter

About the Author

A psychotherapist in private practice with individuals and couples since 1978, Robert Alter graduated from Cornell University and earned his M.A. from Brandeis University. A former contributing editor for Mothering magazine, he has taught literature and writing at Brandeis and Wheelock College.

More by Robert Alter, Ph.D

[jnb]

Interesting reading, sounds like the guys got it. The 3 things to stay connected to your wife, my husband does that, gee maybe I'm the one screwing things up.

[Road Rage]

With a title like "It`s (mostly) His Fault" it is bound to be the first trillion seller book.

 

I bet Oprah is on this one like white on rice:cool:

[Woggle]

Yet another person blaming men for everything. All this will lead to is men further handing over their balls and women further losing respect for us.

[Citizen Erased]

Yet another person blaming men for everything. All this will lead to is men further handing over their balls and women further losing respect for us.

 

For once I actually side with Woggle. Blaming the man for everything in the relationship is a bunch of bs. With the exception of one partner cheating, or both, a relationship is made up of 2 people and they both have faults which contribute to their problems. This book is just a quick way for this guy to make money because he knows he is just feeding the women desperate enough to read it what they want to hear.

 

The title at least needs a rethink

[jnb]

For once I actually side with Woggle. Blaming the man for everything in the relationship is a bunch of bs. With the exception of one partner cheating, or both, a relationship is made up of 2 people and they both have faults which contribute to their problems. This book is just a quick way for this guy to make money because he knows he is just feeding the women desperate enough to read it what they want to hear.

 

The title at least needs a rethink

 

Amen. He just wants to retire from marriage counseling.

[Road Rage]

So, there seems to be a general consensus here that blaming men sell like hell:laugh:

[Citizen Erased]

So, there seems to be a general consensus here that blaming men sell like hell:laugh:

 

Pretty much. And the fact that it is written by a man triples the takings

[redfathom]

I just wanted to say that I am not saying it is my H fault, actually he is blaming me saying I am too sensative and need to accept the way he is. Also, the book does not take away a mans machoism, if anything it gives it back. It says that the best thing and most manly thing a man can do it be a good husband. There is nothing weak about accepting responsibilty for your actions. Also, the women will then appreciate the men more because of it and are encouraged in the book to show admiration for there men when they do something nice.

 

I don't understand why it's to much to ask a man to be nice and sensative to the person he loves and promised to cherish. I think manning up to your promises is a very admirable quaility and sexy.

 

Being dependable is sexy. This book basically says that men are programmed to be a certain way, since they are young. They are taught this by there fathers and it is reinforced through TV and media. They are taught to be strong, the providers, the bread winners, macho, that being sensative is weak. This guy just comes out and say that all that is BS. Men should be good husbands and good fathers.

[Gunny376]

For some people in some situations, this book may hold some of the answers to to some of the questions, and some of the solutions to some of their problems ~ but its by no means the cure-all-of-cure-alls to martial woes and problems.

 

Reducing women's role in marriage to being generally passive,, and patting thier husbands on the head like a kept dog for good behavior is not anywhere close to the solution. And, to imply that the problems with modern day marriage is 99.99% to be laid at the feet of men is asenine at best.

 

To pegion-hole men and women in to absolute stereotypes of absolute masculinity and femininity is to me absurd. There are lots of men that comfortable in both their masculinity and in their roles as nurturers, givers, etc. There are plenty of women who lack the basic human capactity to give a damn about anyone but themselves. Just because your a woman and you become pregno, give birth does not make you a mother. The fact of the matter is ~ there's no shortage of down right meam b******* out there. And, just as there's no shortage of sorry-ass men, there's no shortage of sorry-ass women either.

 

I concide that women do hold the propensity to be more nuturing, and relationship orientated than your typical man ~ and there's no shortage of cultural, societial myths, fallacies, and downright lies about what a man is, but the same can be said for women, and marriage in general.

 

The biggest problem is there's a lack of education about marriage, and about the pyschological, communicative differences between women and men. On this point ~ there's more than enough ignorance to go around on bothsides of the gender gap ~ women are just a ignorant as men, and vice versa. Going hand in hand with that, there's a lack of education about personal finance.

 

I'm by far not an expert, but I can tell you that anytime a man puts viritually anything, be it his job, his carrer, hunting, sports, golf, drinking, drugs, porn, or even an X-box before his wife/GF/SO for a prolonged period of time, she won't be there for long.

 

But, women also have un-realistic expectations of what marriage is and what being with a man is like. A lot of women actually believe that their suppose to be feeling like they just meet all of the time ~ and if they don't they're out of here. A lot of women believe that men are suppose to think, and have the same perspective as women ~ when its actually biologically impossible to do so.

 

I'm a man ~ not a woman, and I don't want to be with a woman who doesn't act, think, dress, like a woman. Indeed, the more feminine a woman is the more :love: :love: I am. But, one of the other primary reasons I want and need a woman in my life is her unique persepective and attitude that she brings to the table. I know I have the propensity to be a man, see the world as a man, and inter-act with the world, but many a time when I ready to charge off like a ragging bull, a woman would throw me a curve by saying, "Have you ever thought about,............ :eek: :eek:

 

There's only one way to control a man, and for a man to control a woman and that's to,..........................get to know them. Their wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. To find someone, who your not only compatible with, but who compliments you, and vice versa, with whom you have compatible views.

 

Being married should enrich your life, not take away from it.

 

Its the smart man that knows, and fully understands that arguing with your wife is like arguing with a pig ~ it accomplishes nothing, other than to annoy the pig.

 

Arguing with your wife ~ is like winning the war with Iraq, in that you wished you hadn't.

 

I'm not saying lay down and role over, but a wife is someone who you put up on a pedestal above others, and that's what a husband should be to a wife.

[redfathom]

What do you do when your H puts HIMSELF on a pedastal? Is it okay to knock him down and say, I know you love yourself and that is good and all but I need love too. What if they put themselves on a pedestal because they can't accept that they are not perfect. What if by accepting there was an issue in the relationship would mean he would have to accept that he is not perfect and he would rather not do that.

 

It's okay to have an objective look at EVERYTHING, maybe you don't agree but that does not mean you can't learn from it and you should shy away from it because you are afraid it could be right on somethings. Change is always scary, but EVERYONE should always try to be a better person and that's what change is, it's growing and learning.

[Gunny376]

What do you do when your H puts HIMSELF on a pedastal? Is it okay to knock him down and say, I know you love yourself and that is good and all but I need love too. What if they put themselves on a pedestal because they can't accept that they are not perfect. What if by accepting there was an issue in the relationship would mean he would have to accept that he is not perfect and he would rather not do that.

 

Yea, I'd be letting them know, no one can use you as a doormat if you don't let them. I'd be setting some bounderies and spelling out what they were until he had a clear pretty picture in his head. I'd be clearly spelling out what my minor, major, and intolerable offenses ~ in your case one of them is porn, and putting others before you. For some, that would be a minor offense, for others that would be a major, and still for others that would be an intollerable.

 

You've taken an objective look at porn ~ and recognize it for what it is ~ crap! Porn is primarly for little boys that have never fully grown up and matured. I'd take the a real, red-blooded, living, breathing woman over some made-up, air-brushed beauty any day!

 

Back around 1990, Playboy did a centerfold of one of the "Bond" girls. No doubt she was fine as Hell. She was on the Donahue show, etc. The press was all about her, wanting to know where this beauty who came from out of no-where, was. Come to find out ~ she use to be a He! :eek: :eek: A lady I knew, said she was pissed because she was born a girl and this "gal" looked better than her. I told her she too could look that fine "if" she had the $50,000 to $100,000 or whatever it took.

[redfathom]

The weird thing is that the porn itself is not the issue, the issue is that i felt my needs were not being met. He would look at porn like four times a week while we only made love like once a week. I would notice that he would even look at it like 30 min before I was suppose to be home and then when I would come on to him, he would reject me. I would try to give him a passionate kiss and he would back away. When I would mentined my feelings to him, he would say that there was nothing wrong and that the porn was not causing a lack of intamacy like I think is was/is.

 

I love myself, I just wish he would love me too. I am smart, pretty, I have a great job and am pretty open to anything (you always have to try something once or you might be missing out). I have great fun hobbies that I am great at that amaze even me. I just wish he appreciate me for the things that make me unique instead of adoring these fake women.

 

The thing is and maybe I am wrong but in my opinion, SOME men use porn as an escape. It is safe and available when they need it no strings attached. It does nto judge or critisize, it is always in the mood and can be turned off when HE want's it to be turned off. But it is also not real, no REAL person is like that. One guy posted on here, "I wish my wife was like the girls in those movies and always in the moods." So I said, how do you know they are in the mood ALL the TIME, it's there job to pretend to be in the mood.

 

I do not want to change the subject of this thread but I did want to reply to you. Thanks!

[OldEurope]

I agree with the consensus here. I find that men are constantly expected to do all the heavy lifting of attending to all aspects of a marriage and that women start acting like children when all their little "needs" are not met. Bah humbug. Many women simply need to Get A Life outside of marriage, to build their own identities.

 

As for emotional literacy, in my experience men have been far more emotionally profound than most women I know. In many ways I think men are the romantics. I think the intelligent ones tend to believe in the big-bang, philosophical love while many women see love and marriage in "material" terms. Before y'all jump on me, I said "many".

 

Also, as a passionate reader, I have often remarked to myself that the best writers and poets of this world have tended to be men. Sorry, gals--but this is true.

 

No emotional literacy there? Whatever.

 

OE

[boshemia]

Well I agree, that the tips he listed are a good idea in any marriage but I kind of liked the Michelle Weiner-Davis appraoch. One of her books was released as "How to Change Your Man Without His Even Knowing It" so of course... women bought it. As it turned out it had nothing to do with changing your man, it was changing the way you related to him and watching the reaction.

 

Marriage is a lot of work, and as a woman I may know relationships but I don't know crap about marraige. If I did I wouldn't be going through my second divorce. Women and Men still have a lot to learn...

[Gunny376]

The weird thing is that the porn itself is not the issue, the issue is that i felt my needs were not being met. He would look at porn like four times a week while we only made love like once a week. I would notice that he would even look at it like 30 min before I was suppose to be home and then when I would come on to him, he would reject me. I would try to give him a passionate kiss and he would back away. When I would mentined my feelings to him, he would say that there was nothing wrong and that the porn was not causing a lack of intamacy like I think is was/is.

 

I love myself, I just wish he would love me too. I am smart, pretty, I have a great job and am pretty open to anything (you always have to try something once or you might be missing out). I have great fun hobbies that I am great at that amaze even me. I just wish he appreciate me for the things that make me unique instead of adoring these fake women.

 

The thing is and maybe I am wrong but in my opinion, SOME men use porn as an escape. It is safe and available when they need it no strings attached. It does nto judge or critisize, it is always in the mood and can be turned off when HE want's it to be turned off. But it is also not real, no REAL person is like that. One guy posted on here, "I wish my wife was like the girls in those movies and always in the moods." So I said, how do you know they are in the mood ALL the TIME, it's there job to pretend to be in the mood.

 

I do not want to change the subject of this thread but I did want to reply to you. Thanks!

 

The problem isn't that he's been socially, culturally conditioned to be over-masculinlized into society's and our culture's eptiome of what a man is and should be ~ the problem is that you're married to a ego-manical idiot that's been "spanking the monkey" too much to porn, who's not appreciative of what he's got, and won't be until its too late, and your gone!!! And, he's left standing there next to the curb with his pants down around his ankles like a little school boy that just "wet himself" saying, "What?! What did I do?!" :eek:

 

You're reading books, searching the internet for answers to the questions, and solutions to the problems ~ when the plain and simple truth of the matter is you need to wean him off the bottle, tell him to "Grow up, quit being a boy ~ be a man, take care of your wife, your woman, and take care of your business ~ or I'll find someone who will and can!"

 

Bottom line, its time to serve him a big old cup of "Wake The **** Up!"

 

I am smart, pretty, I have a great job and am pretty open to anything (you always have to try something once or you might be missing out). I have great fun hobbies that I am great at that amaze even me. I just wish he appreciate me for the things that make me unique

 

There's a shortage of gals like you, and a big demand! What one man can't use, what one man will abuse ~ another can certainly use, and be damned appreciative of to the point of being in church everytime the doors open down on his hands and knees, his hands clasped together, saying "THANK YOU, GOD!"

 

Just that plain and just that simple!

[boshemia]

As far as the porn goes, I can totally relate. There are some girls who are threatened by it just because it is competition, and then there are guys like my ex who really and truly have a problem with it to the exclusion of actual physical contact.

 

I've discussed this with many people and have realized that porn can be an addiction just like anything else, and why they do it is more important that anything in determining the addiction factor. Nobody has ever really helped me figure out why he did it, some people thought it was because flesh and blood relationships put too much pressure on him, my counselor thinks he was a closet sex addict (but then why wasn't he having sex with me as much?) my mom dealt with it years ago and she said she thought it was just pure selfishness, and alleviated the worries of pleasing anyone but yourself.

 

You are right, you are a valuable woman, and you deserve to be treated better... I'm glad that you are confident in that because it took me a long while to get to that point. Whatever the resons they do it, just like any addiction it hurts the people who love them far more than it hurts the addict, and until he has to deal with the consequences himself there are no reasons for him to stop.

[Woggle]

All this mentality will do is make men try to be super husband which will further lower their self esteem when it doesn't get them anywhere. Maybe we need a book telling men to stand up for themselves.

[Road Rage]

Woggle, I have wrote an excellent book on men standing up for themselves. It has sold one copy. Oprah has given it the silent treatment just as has every other media source. it seems men don`t buy these type of books and women make damn sure the word don`t get out:laugh:

[Woggle]

Woggle, I have wrote an excellent book on men standing up for themselves. It has sold one copy. Oprah has given it the silent treatment just as has every other media source. it seems men don`t buy these type of books and women make damn sure the word don`t get out:laugh:

 

I am planning on writing a book which will get attention. It will be called Growing our Balls Back.

[dgiirl]

After thirty-five years of marriage and thirty years as a well-respected therapist and marriage counselor, Robert Alter has discovered three fundamental facts that can radically change the way couples solve their marital problems:

1. Most men, deep in their hearts, want to be great husbands but don't know how.
   
2. There are specific ways to relate to a woman, and specific ways not to. (In other words, a woman does come with an instruction manual!)
   
3. The idea that men and women are equally responsible for the problems in a relationship is, quite frankly, a bunch of crap.
   

Based on the premise that a real man can take criticism and learn from it, this sure-to-be controversial book shows husbands how to get out of the proverbial dog house and back into the arms of a wife who wants them again.

 

I didnt read the whole book description, but I did read up to this point. I would say that this book is directed specifically to MEN for MEN to read. I would imagine, if a man read it, then perhaps he would take personal responsibility for his side of the relationship. It's VERY important to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness. And telling a man that no matter how much you think your wife is a nag, you STILL have control over the situation, especially on how you perceive your wife. If you perceive your wife as a nag, then you're going to think she's a nag and let that thought take over instead of understanding where she's coming from. Once you start losing empathy for the other person, your relationship goes down the toilet, and YOU are the only one responsible on how you perceive the other person.

 

If you are a woman reading this book, then I would switch genders, and read it as if you were the man. Everything he says to men, I would read as if he wrote that specifically towards me. Otherwise, a woman reading this book, and truly believing everything he says about it being the man's fault is just deluding herself. She's losing the whole point of personal responsibility. You cannot fix relationship problems until you understand your role in the situation. You cannot fix relationship problems if you paint the other person as evil and wrong. You need to understand the other person, and the best way to wake someone up to that fact is to tell them straight that "no matter what the other person did, it's your fault." This usually wakes that person up to question their own role in the relationship.

[Citizen Erased]

I am planning on writing a book which will get attention. It will be called Growing our Balls Back.

 

Classic Woggle. Can you PLEASE add in there for men to stop wearing makeup, moistursing, spray tanning, spending 2 hours each day on their hair and for god's sake DON'T WEAR SKINNY JEANS.

[Woggle]

Classic Woggle. Can you PLEASE add in there for men to stop wearing makeup, moistursing, spray tanning, spending 2 hours each day on their hair and for god's sake DON'T WEAR SKINNY JEANS.

 

The Chapter will be called From gritty to pretty-How pop culture has smoothed our rugged manly edges into emasculated metrosexuality. It will be about the subject you bring up.

[Citizen Erased]

The Chapter will be called From gritty to pretty-How pop culture has smoothed our rugged manly edges into emasculated metrosexuality. It will be about the subject you bring up.

 

omg I love the title. And I definetely agree that pop culture is responsible for the change. But there is no excuse for wearing womens jeans to all you emo's out there!

[Gunny376]

I realize its hard to tell based upon just my posts, but I'm actually the silent, shy, sensitive type.

 

I got in a bit of hot water, because I basically told one of the foreman at work during his break to STFU, (I work in a lab, and we're allowed to watch cabel TV, DVD's, play video games, read books, mags, and the paper ~ whatever in so long as we're caught up on the work ~ but no hookers or keg parties ) I was trying to watch "Flags Of Our Fathers" He ran to his big brother ~ my boss's boss, and told him I was "rude" to him!!!!

 

This a 59 year old man? WTF? Now he's pouting and avoiding me?!!!! WTF ~ Over! If I ever get that emanciatd ~ someone please shot me or throw me under a bus, or something!