brokeninFL Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Four weeks ago, my Ex broke things off with me. Immediately after, she stopped talking to me. I sent a couple of texts and emails letting her know that I was okay with her decision, but I got no response. Seeing that I wasn’t over her and she was moving on (Found out she was dating other people) I decided that NC was the way to go. I deleted her from my myspace and facebook friends so that I couldn’t be constantly reminded of who and what she was doing. I also blocked her on AIM. Not to be mean, but it was just too much. She found out and got really mad. She told me that we cant be friends if we cant even stay in touch via myspace, and she said that I was being mean and ridiculous. I told her that It wasn’t personal, I just needed to move on and get over everything that happened. She couldn’t get it. I told her that I was going to try to keep my distance from her. Today, I found out that she was in a new relationship (its been 4 weeks!) But I wanted to be the bigger person and preserve our friendship.(I had only kept NC for 2 days) So I texted her and told her Congratulations, and that shell always have a friend if she needs one. I also apologized for coming across as being mean in our previous conversation. Her response was “Huh? Ur so confusing.” Then she told me that she was sick of me apologizing for things that happened in the past. I told her that If I do someone wrong, that ill be an adult and try to make things right. Then I told her that I shouldn’t even be doing it in the first place with her moving on so quickly (telling me the reason she broke up with me was BS) And that she was wrong for breaking things off in an email. She said nothing about that and said that she was free to date anyone that she wanted, and it didn’t matter how long it was before she got in another relationship. I feel really bad. If anyone has any advice, I sure could use it.
oppath Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Well, I haven't read a post about why you broke up, but I recall you mentioning she was mad about you deleting her from your friend's lists. I applaud you for that. It is the mature thing to do after a painful breakup. You don't want to see her face a couple times a day. It's hard enough to resist the compulsion of checking. She is allowed to move on and date right away. Without knowing the reasons for your breakup, it suggests to me that she was too big of a coward to break things off with you sooner. That is not a reflection of your character, but hers. 4 weeks is soon for an official relationship. Either she had moved on from you long before breaking up with you -- which is incredibly weak -- or she can't be alone. She's playing you here. She acts upset with you, you apologize, and she then acts like she wasn't upset and you are weak for apologizing. she doesn't sound like much of a friend. If I were you, I'd just drop her from your life. You are still hurting and don't need to know about her love life and you don't need her making you feel bad.
Kelso Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I think it is really mature to have the guts to simply delete her from MySpace. I didn't do that with my ex as I was always holding a window open for her to crawl back to me. It resulted me in having to look at her face sometimes many times a day and didn't do me any good. It's easy to be wise afterwards so I wish I would just have deleted her. Even to be more stupid, I didn't even remove her from my Top List. Still I haven't deleted her. I sometimes still hate to see her face there. But I think it will only seem childish to delete her from my account now, over 4 months since breakup. It doesn't really bother me that much now. Just relax and try to start a fresh NC. It gets easier as time goes by.
bchlvr Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Broken-- I think your instincts are really good, that you needed to go NC because you weren't over her and it would be too painful (and unrealistic IMHO) to retain a friendship when you still have feelings for her beyond friendship. It seems to me that there is nothing about your actions that warrant an apology. Your ex has made her decision and it is absolutely appropriate that you take care of yourself and look out for your own best interest by going NC. Getting over her will take time and you need not feel bad about the steps you take to move on. Being the dumpee can really leave us feeling a loss of control. The fact that your ex broke up by e-mail only intensifies that loss because you didn't even have a chance to respond at the time. The wish to make things right to ease the pain is understandable but it's important to accept that you really can't make things right by apologizing, offering congratulations, letting her know you want to preserve a friendship etc. I also think it's important to be very consistent with your ex and not give her double messages. Go back to NC. Keep posting here especially when you have the urge to contact her.
polywog Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I agree with the other posters, I know that it's hard (from personal experience:( ) but I urge you to go NC to take care of yourself. And I agree about posting here when you feel frustrated or down. LS is such a great support! So many of us have been (or are in) the same place. Please take care...
Author brokeninFL Posted February 21, 2007 Author Posted February 21, 2007 Well, I haven't read a post about why you broke up. Thanks for the posts guys...Oppath, Three months before, I had broken things off with her because I was diagnosed with a major medical illness. Crushed by it, and wanting to protect her, I broke up with her...After it, I missed her terribly because she was always there for me. We continued to date after the breakup, but without the relationship. During that time, I totally devoted myself to her. I wanted to show her that she was very important to me, and that I wouldnt dump her again. We dated for about 2 months until she went home for break (were both in college) Halfway through the break, I noticed how I wasnt hearing from her, and that I missed talking to her. I had a death in my immediate family, and she was like my best friend. I wanted to talk to her about what happened. She said that she was busy, and then I didnt hear from her for the rest of the break. When she came back to school, she told me that she couldnt date me anymore because she was "cynical" about relationships. Then came the new relationship 4 weeks later...
ratingsguy Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I also apologized for coming across as being mean in our previous conversation. Her response was “Huh? Ur so confusing.” Then she told me that she was sick of me apologizing for things that happened in the past. That right there tells me she's the Queen Bitch. I'm with everyone else... you gotta lose her. Go NC for good. Sorry I don't have much more than that, but I'm deathly tired and I need to get to sleep. Good luck, bro.
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