Deeko Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Here’s my story. My boyfriend has a couple of female friends and that’s totally okay by me because the majority of my friends are male and it doesn’t mean anything. Anyway, his friend is coming to our city for “work training” and she will be staying at his house for 3 Thursday’s in March. That is not sitting well with me! I don’t really believe he’d do anything stupid and cheat on me, but I kind of see it as disrespectful to me that she asked to stay there knowing I’m in the picture, too. This might be okay if I didn’t have a hunch that he has feelings for her deep down. I found out that a few years back while they were in college together that he really liked her, but she was never interested in him. My friends tell me that they too wouldn’t approve of this situation if they were me and that I need to speak up, but how do I approach it? His friend also has a boyfriend and hopefully it’s just a “friends” thing, but all I can wonder is if they’ll sleep in the same bed and little things like that. It’s all I can think about! Please someone, help me with this! I’m afraid to speak up because I don’t want him to get mad at me for being ridiculous but on the other hand, to me, this is just not cool. She seems too buddy-buddy around him, even when I’m there and when the 3 of us are together, I feel like the 5th wheel who is the ignored tag along.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 You probably don't have reason to be jealous, however I think I would want to spend the night those Thursdays too, just in case!
xoxoswimmerxoxo Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I agree i would want to spend the night just to be on the safe side...i mean you never know...but i would speak up and let him know how u feel, ya know like put him in your shoes...be like how would u feel if i did that and you would be feeling(say how u feel) and see if he agrees....or something like that
norajane Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 If this is for "work training" then her company should pay for her hotel and all her expenses for travel/meals/rental car/etc., for the duration of the training. That is standard practice. Ask him why she isn't staying at a hotel where she will be far more comfortable.
angelbabylk Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 norajane is right. they should pay for all of it. my exboyfriend had a friend like this. i ALWAYS felt like a tag a long.. but they were just friends. it took me a while to be comfortable with it, but i suggest you do speak with him about it. just tell him civially, dont yell, dont fight.. if you see an arguement coming, just end the conversation. most of the time, if he gets mad, he doesnt understand why you'd be upset.. because he sees it as completely harmless.
Author Deeko Posted February 21, 2007 Author Posted February 21, 2007 Thank you all for the advice. My sister tells me I should stay there on those nights also, but I just feel so uncomfortable around her and knowing how I feel, I'm wondering if I should put myself in that position willingly. Although, I'd love to be a fly on the wall. You'd think her work would pay for her hotel accomodations, I never thought of that! I want to say something, I just dont want to bring it up because I dont want to start a fight and like one of you said, I could always end the conversation, but still, I'm such a wuss, I usually just let things go and never speak up. I hate that about myself!
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