Guest Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Hi I used to be a member here. Just wondering when does a name calling incident step over the line. I've been dating this guy now for 3 months. Everything seemed to be going fine. We're close, spend alot of time together and manage to get along pretty well despite living 3 hours drive from each other. Last week we went on holiday for a week. It was the first time we spent 7 days together in close quarters and it was hard going. Things were okay, if a little tense. Since then things changed. We don't seem as close and he's seemed to have changed how he feels. From my point of view it feels like the initial flames are settling down. Then last week he was directly flirting, in front of me, with a friend of mine. A day or so later he got a text message from her and told me about it. We talked and I explained that I understood they have a friendship but I'd like the flirting to stop - she's married and he has to make it known sooner or later he's with me. The flirting didn't stop. I pointed out it was disrespectful to me. That was when it stopped. I wasn't happy at having to ask for that - I'm not a nag or a whinge. Secondly, yesterday - we were play fighting. I caught my hand on his nose. Not hard. But enough so that it stopped things. He stopped and said something which I didn't catch. I asked him what he was about to say and asked was he calling me a bitch. He said "no, I was about to call you a whore". In the UK, that term is not as widely accepted as it is in the USA. Even so, it's still a derogatory comment which vastly upset me. I appreciate we were kidding around. But a man who supposedly loves you can call you a prostitute, hooker, whore... and then explains it by saying it was a joke. Am I over-reacting at this...? I asked him to leave my house and leave his key behind before I get home tonight. So, the questions I have for you guys is... 1. If I let this go with an apology this time (bearing in mind, it's the second time we've crossed the respect line) how far does it have to go before it stops...? Isn't two strikes over my line enough...? 2. Is it fair to split over a simple 'joke' and let it go and hope it doesn't happen again. I'd be upset because yes, I do think alot of him... but I also value myself and my self esteem. Is this the slippery slope where it begins to get eroded...? How will I know...? What do you guys think...? What would you do ladies...? Guys, would you ever say that to your lady, even jokingly...? Thanks Chinook.
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