thatmatt Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 So, this is about the five stages 1) Shock/denial 2) Bargaining. 3) Anger. 4) Depression and grief. 5) Acceptance. associated with the end of a relationship. However, I was looking at how I've gone through these stages, and Shock/Denial and bargainng I went through while still in a relationship with her, then came anger, which is when it ended, now im currently in depression and grief/guilt. But these stages began a good 2-3 months before the breakup. Has anyone else experienced this, not based on cheating or a specific event, just going through these steps of breaking up even though you were making it work, and were covinced it would? Does it make it easier to get to acceptance because you've already been through some of the stages when the relationship ends, or does it make it harder because you were still in a relationship during those stages? I think some of the bargaining is coming back for me, I still get these ideas that I could have made it work, but that's probably because I didn't completly go through that stage the first time around? Anyways, just wanted to hear thoughts on this, and what other's stages have looked like.
justagirlforever Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Wow never really thought about it like that. But for me it was : 1)Strong denial before we even had "the conversation". 2)Then shock & anger lasting max a week. 3)Then bargaining - I got him to agree to go and see a councillor for six weeks - whilst I was living in denial and then sank into a brief depressed & dark spell. This part was more to "buy" myself some time to come to terms with it and understand why all that was happening. 4)Then realisation - and it hit home very hard. 5)And acceptance followed by immense sheer relief. 5.5)And happiness - happy to be me. Happy for what was, what is, and what the future holds All was made infinitely easier for me to slowly let go while still together. It sounds nuts, but that's the way it was. I couldn't just walk away and close the door to deal with all that on my own after 4 years of loving & living together. I asked him to help me through it and now we're great friends. Just friends.
ratingsguy Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 ...these stages began a good 2-3 months before the breakup. Has anyone else experienced this, not based on cheating or a specific event, just going through these steps of breaking up even though you were making it work, and were covinced it would? I think that when a relationship ends, there's a road that takes you there, and it isn't a very pleasant one. It's unrealistic to be happy happy happy and then one day... poof! The relationship is over (unless it comes as a total shock). Most people are able to see the writing on the wall prior to a breakup, so I think the answer to your question is yes... these stages can begin prior to the definitive end of a relationship.
Recommended Posts