boobooboots Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Hi, I wanted to ask for advice. I went to a works weekend and shared a flat with a friend and two girls. After lots of drink one of the girls started getting very close with me. Then she started kissing my mate (i didnt know this until after the weekend!). Soon after she started kissing me, and when we got back to the flat was uncontrollable. She wanted us to have sex but i made out i was too drunk and not up for it etc... because morally i don't like one nite stands/casual sex. Within half an hour, she came back to the room that i was sharing with my mate and sat on the edge of my bed and started masturbating herself. I pretended that i was still alseep because i didnt want to join in (morals) and i also didnt want to embarrass her. She now wants to get closer and see me more. What should i do (bearing in mind how 'loose' she was with me and my mate). I do like her but i also feel a bit of sadness towards her in the was she puts herself towards guys.
Blue Phoenix Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 boobooboots I dont get you honestly arnt you the same guy who a week ago or so was asking about your gf and saying you couldent get over her past sexual experances she told you about?? Im sure you are so seeing as this kind of stuff bothers you so much why do you even have to ask us what to do?? Obvisely you want some one who shares your high moral standing when it comes to sex so why even entertain the thought of seeing some one who you know isent like that???
Guest Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Yes, this girl is very "loose" and obviously feels the need for a tremendous amount of attention from guys, whoever they may be. My advice, dont put all your egg shells in one basket~in other words, dont get too hooked on this girl. I tell you this because girls like this can break the heart of a guy who isnt ready for her type. You seem like a really good/morally correct type of fellow, and i feel if you put all your time into her, she can dissapoint you. Just the fact that she was kissing on ur mate when you were there and then tried to get you to sleep with her..it could have been your mate if it wasnt you so obviously she just wanted sex. I dunno, maybe she's just really cute and outgoin and thats what makes u find her attractive...but theres alot of cute and outgoin girls out there that dont drop their pants for the 1st guy. So let this one go b4 u get hurt
Author boobooboots Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 I'm in a situation and i'm confused... i'm asking advice on this situation. If you don't want to give me advise on THIS situation, please ignore this thread. I just want to make the correct decision and not regret it.
Blue Phoenix Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 If you had actualy taken the time to LOOK at what I wrote you would have seen I was giveing you advice on THIS thread. Based on things I had observed from other threads you had posted!! And Im pretty sure maney other posters would agree with me when I say that there is nothing wrong with us going back into other threads to gain insight on a situation. And then useing that insight to give advice happends all the time if your going to continue posting on here you might as well get use to it. And I still dont understand why you would consider seeing a girl that you already know isent up to your moral standards sexualy?? That was what I was saying nothing wrong with that at all.
Citizen Erased Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Leave her alone. She is displaying behaviour which you are not comfortable with in a relationship and even if she is perfect as your girlfriend you will again be haunted by what she got up to before your relationship with her. You are entitled to want someone with the same morals as you, I suggest you wait until you find her. The reason this girl may act the way she does at parties if because she has been hurt in a previous relationship and do you really want to make her mental state worse? Because you will be disapproving of her and that will make her think you think she is a whore.
Sand&Water Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 RE: What should you do? You should move on -target a woman that fits your description. It is obvious she is promiscuous. IF you are not comfortable dating a woman like her, showing her to your family, and discussing serious issues then by all means disregard. I don't think, though, it would hurt to have coffee with her -delve into her persona. Sand&Water
Blue Phoenix Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 --"I don't think, though, it would hurt to have coffee with her -delve into her persona"-- I know what you mean when you say this and I normaly would agree. But booboo seams to have a habbit of alowing women to become attached to him weither or not he knowes it who are promiscuous. Maybe he thinks its all he can get or what ever the case may be. But he alowes the relashionship to develoup reguardless and then lables the women as "whores and sluts" and such wich I dont realy think is fair to them. I agree he def needs to wait untill he truly finds the one that fits his needs and not settle for any less because its not fair to eather party involved. Are you religuos booboo?? Perhaps you might try a church settling to look for a equil partner. I honestly mean that you have high sexual standards wich is fine but in the genral younger population you may have a hard time finding some one who shares the same values as you. If I were you I would try to look in places that may harbour people with the same ideas. Also you cant always judge people based on what they do drunk drunk and sober are 2 compleatly diffrent things. Let this girl go and keep looking for your miss right!!
Author boobooboots Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Thanks Blue Phoenix. It's actually the SAME girl (i've not had a run of bad luck with relationships... honest!!) I actually had a long-term relationship prior to this one which was built solidly on love and trust. Anyway, i'm not religious or anything like that... i guess i'm just picky!! Maybe i need to start issuing a questionnaire prior to dating a partner: "how many one nite stands have you had?". Hmmmmmmm. I posted the same question on a similar site and had the following responses: A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): I understand you have some feelings for her but DO NOT make the mistake of starting a relationship with her. She lacks not only morals but wisdom and self-respect. A female reader, writes (16 February 2007): Well, like you said...she doesnt edzactly play hard to get does she. She either doesnt have alot of self esteem, or shes just plain out for the fun of it. I would say that maybe she needs someone to love her and show her she doesnt need to masturbate at the end of someones bed to get affection and love. Maybe she only tried it on a secound time because she couldnt beleive you didnt go for it at first. I think shes worth a try, but...i dont think you deserve to be with a girl that shags around. Also if she wasnt going to wear any contraception. Perhaps you should just leave it, enless she shows some seriously significant reason to be trusted and loved. A male reader, writes (16 February 2007): I would not get romantically involved with this woman if she has been loose in your eyes. It just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. If she was acting this way with you and your friend, imagine how you would feel when you found out all the other things she may have done. I would just stick with being her friend. I'm glad you didn't do what most guys would have done in that situation. It's nice to know there are some guys out there who aren't just looking for a quick bang to brag about with their buddies. A female reader, writes (16 February 2007): Yes, this girl is very "loose" and obviously feels the need for a tremendous amount of attention from guys, whoever they may be. My advice, dont put all your egg shells in one basket~in other words, dont get too hooked on this girl. I tell you this because girls like this can break the heart of a guy who isnt ready for her type. You seem like a really good/morally correct type of fellow, and i feel if you put all your time into her, she can dissapoint you. Just the fact that she was kissing on ur mate when you were there and then tried to get you to sleep with her..it could have been your mate if it wasnt you so obviously she just wanted sex. I dunno, maybe she's just really cute and outgoin and thats what makes u find her attractive...but theres alot of cute and outgoin girls out there that dont drop their pants for the 1st guy. So let this one go b4 u get hurt.
Blue Phoenix Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Well if this is the same girl booboo then is she still your gf?? If she is then I think you already know shes def not the ideal women for you! But for some reason you keep letting her back in why is that? Do you feel sorry for her?? If so then even so your realy not helping her if you cant except her fully as she is. You would do her and yourself more justice by being friends with her then trying to force or save a dieing relashionship. I would simply respectfully tell her that you dont feel that there is a connection there between you to romanticly. But you would like to still be her friend if possible and then let that be it. Yes it may hurt her in the short term but it would be better for you bouth in the long run.
justagirliegirl Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 If you don't want a sleazy girl then stop going after them.
Author boobooboots Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Yes. It's the same girl and she is still (currently) my girlfriend. I guess i have always felt sorry for her and wanted her to respect her body. I've tried to make her realise that there are very few men out there that will respect a woman and want to date them if she gives it up within half an hour of meeting her. She says she realises this and did it out of desperation. She's told me that she couldnt deal with just being friends, that it would be too upsetting because she'd constantly be thinking about what might have been. I guess it's this that makes us both continue what is a very destructive relationship.
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