shockandawed Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Very interesting thread going here. First of all, I am in Regional Sales. I can talk about my company and benefits of doing business with us to anyone. I am constantly praised as not building customers, but building relationships and creating loyalty. Not to be cocky, but I am good at this, making customers like me. With that said, I am horrible at picking up girls or making idle conversation. So I too have gone the online route. Three years ago, I did this for the first time after my divorce. Sure, there were a few psychos and freaks, but I had no problem getting dates. In fact, there was one week where I had a different date every night of the week. I met my ex-fiance through Match, so it does work. Well, I guess that is debatable now. So this go around, after getting myself somewhat back together, I jump back in. Use pretty much the same profile wording. It is completely honest and reflects much of my personality. I updated a few pics, etc.. I am finding it completely different this go around. I have met some good girls, and haven't had a problem getting emails and IMs going. But it has changed after that. In the past, it seemed to be a pattern of a few emails, phone calls or IM then meet....and usually, with several pics exchanged prior, no surprises at the date. Now, it seems everyone is just looking for Mr Perfect... Example this week, I started exchanging emails with a girl about two weeks ago. Naturally progressed into IMs. A couple of phone calls but she didn't like to talking on the phone when her kids are at the house. I understand. So the IMs are escalating, we end up having a 4 hour one Sunday night. Talking about everything, common beleifs etc...finishing each other sentences, you name it. Monday and Tuesday more of the same. She initiates meeting Tuesday. We agree to informal meet for drink, if we are comfortable we can plan to go to dinner. We met, knock out, looked like her pics and I know I did because I sent her a ton over the last weeks. Seemed to be going fine, in fact, we met at a place where a customer of mine has a shop inside. She initiated a joke on my customer, she went down to where he was and asked if I ever showed up. He played it cool, called my cell, and then told her I had a kid emergency. LOL!!Of course I walked in. We had a big laugh and then went to dinner. Dinner was fine as far as I know. The place wasn't real conducive to talking but I think it was OK. We left, hugged and she even made a comment she would chat with me later that night. Now nothing. I sent an email thanking her for meeting. No response. I forwarded her an email from my customer making sure I knew there would be paybacks, nothing. Last night, she took her away msg off, I IMd her, she put it back on in about 2 minutes, no response. Maybe just busy? The online site shows her online quite a bit. Ok fine, she didnt like something, just say so. The point is it is really frustrating to spend hours and days doing nothing but getting to know someone, and then finally meet and they just simply blow you off afterwards. It seems to be more common. This is about the third one that I have had this month that you seem to click on all levels until you have the date. I don't think its physical because I go to great lengths to present accurate pics, et..Not to be arrogant by any means, but I look like my pics and I am not hideous by any means. And while I struggle with pick up lines, when I meet someone who I have spent so much time communicating with, I feel as though it is just a continium of that, very relaxed and easy to talk. Just seems more like a game now. Maybe I am just having a bad run. I added the eharmony thing after the free weekend. Yes, I was excited by all the responses and found that many have not communicated since the period ended. So I am afraid Art may be right there, we will see. I am just not in the mood to waste all this time and throwing everything out there just to get blown off at any moment. Who knows...............
Quinch Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I've tried online dating and got a few dates out of it but nothing that ever worked out. I'm sure there are a few good, decent and genuine people on there but they seem to be in the minority. My biggest objection is that I don't believe you can really make a proper decision about whether to reject or date someone based on a photo, a short paragraph and a list of their favourite movies. You need to talk and get to know them before you can decide whether they're for you or not. I would be more likely to try speed dating because at least you can be face-to-face.
Green Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Shocknawed ur probably just on a bad run try to meet the people in person before u spend to much energy learning about them on the net. ICS I actualy used to be a sales person and it did teach me that you have to risk being anoying and obnoxiouse to get the sale. If your to nervouse to walk up to some one looking at an item, you could leave it open for another sales person to do it. and if they start saying Ill come back another day and you dont point out that its on a good sale now and if it goes to a lower price with in a curtain amount of time they might walk away. Finaly if you dont explain the aditional waranty even after their initial near jerk response of no, ur only going to sell like to warenties all year to people who just ask for it right out. Now I was walking down the street one night and there were three beutiful girls outside a bar talking and I walked past them and as I walked down the street I started saying to myself why didnt i go up and talk to them so I turned around walked all the way back and said hi, now hitting on a group of girls is really hard u have to be good but my point is next time that pretty girl catches ur eye you have to go up and say something be friendly, show ur interest flirt, try to get the number, invite her to a party ur throwing or going to. Look when u meet these girls online ur goal should be to meet each one in real life and when u do, just treat it like a girl ur just going to flirt with and have a good time because thats really the first time u met. My advice make friends with some other guys who can go out and be ur wing man show u how its done
Author ICS Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 Shocknawed ur probably just on a bad run try to meet the people in person before u spend to much energy learning about them on the net. ICS I actualy used to be a sales person and it did teach me that you have to risk being anoying and obnoxiouse to get the sale. If your to nervouse to walk up to some one looking at an item, you could leave it open for another sales person to do it. and if they start saying Ill come back another day and you dont point out that its on a good sale now and if it goes to a lower price with in a curtain amount of time they might walk away. Finaly if you dont explain the aditional waranty even after their initial near jerk response of no, ur only going to sell like to warenties all year to people who just ask for it right out. Now I was walking down the street one night and there were three beutiful girls outside a bar talking and I walked past them and as I walked down the street I started saying to myself why didnt i go up and talk to them so I turned around walked all the way back and said hi, now hitting on a group of girls is really hard u have to be good but my point is next time that pretty girl catches ur eye you have to go up and say something be friendly, show ur interest flirt, try to get the number, invite her to a party ur throwing or going to. Look when u meet these girls online ur goal should be to meet each one in real life and when u do, just treat it like a girl ur just going to flirt with and have a good time because thats really the first time u met. My advice make friends with some other guys who can go out and be ur wing man show u how its done With my luck, good luck to me on finding that wingman:p Right now I have few friends because most have moved away for university, and from school I hardly know anyone. Well.. there is this one friend, except that I always have a feeling that he is attracted to men and perhaps even to me, as he is often very clingy and asks me to change my schedule so all our classes match and also to ask me to give him a ride home everyday... I've been keeping my distance lately. As for online dating, looks like I have a "date" tomorrow after all. She just got back to me tonight saying: "I'm not to worried about finding something to do, friends find things easily to do when they are mutual." I haven't hung out with a girl for at least two months now.. things ought to be interesting/awkward tomorrow.
shockandawed Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 ICS, Relax and go into it as hanging out with a friend. Hope you have a great evening!!!!
Author ICS Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 ICS, Relax and go into it as hanging out with a friend. Hope you have a great evening!!!! Thanks! I'll write an update tomorrow on how everything went.
Green Posted February 23, 2007 Posted February 23, 2007 ull be fine now its time to put ur skills the test. remember u dont even know if u like her, sure as men it always feels like women have all the power but remember we usualy have to make all the moves, so steal a kiss or something at the end of the night. if shes hot just enjoy being seen with her and take a picture its literaly like fishing u can use a picture of yourself with a hot girl to show ur part of the girl club. remember being urself on a first date is a crock of **** throw some game on that girl hitch style, infact watch hitch if you never have... good luck
Author ICS Posted February 24, 2007 Author Posted February 24, 2007 Turns out that the get together today never happened. She messaged me at 7:30 this morning to tell me that she was caught up in a web of homework, but will be done soon, then at 2:30pm she told me that it's taking her longer than she expected. So much for meeting up. =(
burning 4 revenge Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 i stopped all of this dating nonsense. when im feeling the need i just go to a seedy strip club and grope whoever i want and then i come home and shoot one out
Knittress Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 I met my current boyfriend of a year and a half through a dating website. I wouldn't pay money for it, and both of us were more interested in finding someone to pass a slow Sunday afternoon with than hooking up - but it changed my opinion (slightly) about online dating. Mostly though, I got a lot of horny Neanderthals hitting on me...
Kittiecat Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Well, I've never tried it, but I have a cousin who used it and found his current wife (eharmony). I also have a friend who used Yahoo and found her current boyfriend. Personally, I've considered using it but only with the lowest of expectations. I imagine what shockandawed went through is pretty rough...getting the hopes up only to be disappointed. That said - if you're trying online dating, at least you're trying something. Being proactive will up anyone's chances of finding a good match.
chill chic Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 so...what if you meet a guy that doesn't live in your state? lol what happens then? has anyone else met someone that lives in another state? did it work out?
Author ICS Posted February 25, 2007 Author Posted February 25, 2007 I really don't understand the world anymore-least of all how the mind of a woman works. Two days before we were to meet up, I left her my cellphone number just in case she checks her mail late and things turn out a mess. She told me that she had some work to do, and would finish them and meet up with me in the afternoon. She wrote one update at 2pm and told me that she might need longer to finish up everything. I told her that we could always meet later during the day because her school work is important too. But eventually 9pm came by, and I wrote her a message saying that it was unfortunate we couldn't get together today, but that I'll be looking forward to next time. How odd though. She never called me to cancel our plans and she never logged back on to read my message. What's going on here?
Green Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 theres ur problem always trying to turn the woman into the man. Look you have to be more pro active. Did you have her number so you could call her? you should have just set a time and place for the meeting. next week try to have a couple of girls your going to be meeting that way if a few back out you still got some to meet.
OD3 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 After my ex-girlfriend broke up with me 4 months ago, i went crazy with the internet dating thing. I must have gone on 50 dates or something, and they were mostly NOT good... However, I did meet the current girl im seeing on a dating website, and its going really good. Think I could stay with this one for a very long time.. So, it takes a LOT of dates and a LOT of patience, but you may just get lucky like I did...
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Hahaha KMT you really crack me up. The eternal optimist huh. Your confidence in yourself is hilarious!!! Online dating is a crock of BS. Those people are dangerous, killers, molesters the whole nine yards. Those are people bored with life. Thanks. That would be me then. Some might say the same about people who post insulting messages on internet forum sites. Step off the pedistal and take a look in the mirror. Yeah. What he said. I met my guy online.... and it turns out we are from the same part of the world, even tho right now we don't even live in that country. And he is fantastic!!! We are planning to move in together in a few months. What I loved about online dating was that you can be fussy without hurting peoples feelings. I wanted a guy who was taller than me, had the same level of education, a good sense of humour, liked travelling, wanted kids--- and I hit the jackpot!
Author ICS Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 My last two weeks hasn't been completely bad. I received my first email from the dating website that I posted my picture on. She wrote me and told me that she liked what she read and admired my poetic character. Before ending her email, she gave me her msn address, telling me that she could tell me more about herself there. About a day later, we talked and I think our conversation went well. Short of leaving for bed, she told me she would talk to me the next day. Next day came, I didn't have a chance to go on msn, but I logged on every subsequent day thereafter. To my surprise, I could not find her online. Msn tells me that she still has me on her contact list. A week later I became curious and checked her status on the dating site, only to find out that she has been logging in mostly everyday. Consequently, I decided to write her an email telling her that I was suspecting problems with my msn that prevented me to talk to her, and would love to talk to her soon. Patiently I awaited a reply... one day, two days.. three days.. etc. Still there was no reply, but I realized that she signed-in everyday. What's going on here? When I don't have a picture, I draw short-lived attention from the curious few, but when I do have a picture up and got someone interested in getting to know me better, they strangely ignore me. What's going on here?
LoveLace Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Online dating..I hate it soo much, that I use it and fail at it over and over again!
Trialbyfire Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Glad to hear that some of you have had some success with it. It's not a medium that I would consider using, especially since I prefer to know someone for a long time previous to dating them. So many people misrepresent themselves online.
alphamale Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 It's not a medium that I would consider using, especially since I prefer to know someone for a long time previous to dating them. So many people misrepresent themselves online. that god someone around here has some common sense TBF
Trialbyfire Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 that god someone around here has some common sense TBF Wish it were true but apparently not me based on my ex... Even knowing someone for a long time doesn't always help but thanks for the compliment.
HGP Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 My last two weeks hasn't been completely bad. I received my first email from the dating website that I posted my picture on. She wrote me and told me that she liked what she read and admired my poetic character. Before ending her email, she gave me her msn address, telling me that she could tell me more about herself there. About a day later, we talked and I think our conversation went well. Short of leaving for bed, she told me she would talk to me the next day. Next day came, I didn't have a chance to go on msn, but I logged on every subsequent day thereafter. To my surprise, I could not find her online. Msn tells me that she still has me on her contact list. A week later I became curious and checked her status on the dating site, only to find out that she has been logging in mostly everyday. Consequently, I decided to write her an email telling her that I was suspecting problems with my msn that prevented me to talk to her, and would love to talk to her soon. Patiently I awaited a reply... one day, two days.. three days.. etc. Still there was no reply, but I realized that she signed-in everyday. What's going on here? When I don't have a picture, I draw short-lived attention from the curious few, but when I do have a picture up and got someone interested in getting to know me better, they strangely ignore me. What's going on here? That happens all the time, it's nothing unusual. You may have thought your conversation went well, maybe she didn't. An msn consersation could be a lot different from someone's profile. You'll never know what she's thinking so there's no point wondering. Just talk to other girls. Lots of them.
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