Mary Shadows Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I need some opions. There's this MM who found out I have been crushing on him, and he comes around me all the time now. He finds some way to make me look at him, I think it's b-c he knows I will, b-c I do find myself attracted to him. Do you think he's doing it b-c he likes the attention? Or is playing with my mind? Or is waiting for me to say something? Keep in mind, he's married now......
norajane Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Sure, he's loving the ego boost, the fawning admiration, the attention. Makes him feel like "he's still got it"; makes him feel like the big man strutting and preening around in front of you like the big cock of the walk. Read some threads in this section before taking this any further. You'll see exactly what kind of misery lies ahead of you if you say something to him and he takes you up on it.
kymberann Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Just because you have a crush on someoe does not mean you have to act on it! Save your self the heart ache and move on! Trust me! Best!
elijahBailey Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I need some opions. There's this MM who found out I have been crushing on him, and he comes around me all the time now. He finds some way to make me look at him, I think it's b-c he knows I will, b-c I do find myself attracted to him. Do you think he's doing it b-c he likes the attention? Or is playing with my mind? Or is waiting for me to say something? Keep in mind, he's married now...... yep, he likes the attention, is playing with your mind, and is waiting for you to say something. Seriously, it's all the above. I've had this happen to me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But, oh, did you say he's married? ....
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Well, its clear what he wants. What do you want? Do you want to be sexually involved with someone else's husband?
ratingsguy Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Mary, you have the opportunity that most of us regrettably passed on... you can walk away and spare yourself the inevitable misery. Seize it. If you're not convinced, read some of our stories. If they doesn't convince you to stay away, nothing will.
Guest Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Everyone has giving you great advice. You have a chance to avoid alot of heartache in the future. This isn't a game. His wife has a real winner there. Be glad its not you.
Author Mary Shadows Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Thx guys, I will take all of your advise and really think about it...any particular threads I should read that are somewhat like this one?
Author Mary Shadows Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Well, its clear what he wants. What do you want? Do you want to be sexually involved with someone else's husband? He's married, but that's why idk what he's thinking yep, he likes the attention, is playing with your mind, and is waiting for you to say something. Seriously, it's all the above. I've had this happen to me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But, oh, did you say he's married? .... Yea he's married, but if he knows, why wouldn't he just come to me and say "look it's not gonna happen"?
norajane Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Yea he's married, but if he knows, why wouldn't he just come to me and say "look it's not gonna happen"? You must have missed this: Sure, he's loving the ego boost, the fawning admiration, the attention. Makes him feel like "he's still got it"; makes him feel like the big man strutting and preening around in front of you like the big cock of the walk. That's why he's not going to tell you to stop. He is ENJOYING it. He's getting a bick kick out of it. Fun, fun, fun for him. Makes him think he's hot sh*t.
kymberann Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Yea he's married, but if he knows, why wouldn't he just come to me and say "look it's not gonna happen"? Because he is getting a thrill from it! He is also probably trying to see how far you are willing to go with this. If you have decided that an A is not for you then send him a clear message that you are just not interested. Feel free to read my posts, but there are plenty posts here that clearly discuss the heart ache and drama. Just please don't let your self get trapped! Best!
Author Mary Shadows Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Because he is getting a thrill from it! He is also probably trying to see how far you are willing to go with this. Best! If I do say come on to him, which I won't, basically he will just laugh it off, because he's older, and married and just wants to see how I will react...is that correct?
whichwayisup Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Thx guys, I will take all of your advise and really think about it...any particular threads I should read that are somewhat like this one? Read about the OW's pain, the heartache they feel by falling for a MM. Then, go to the infidelity section and read about the pain betrayed spouses have to deal with after finding out their spouse cheated on them. Don't be selfish, please. This man is not up for grabs, even if he is enjoying knowing you have a crush on him. He has a wife, possibly children too. He has a LIFE built with someone! Why on earth would you want to try and steal a piece of him? YOU deserve a man who will focus ONLY on you, a man who will love ONLY you! Not some married guy who is flattered by your crush and isn't able to fully fall inlove with you in everyway possible. IF You choose to involve yourself with him, be aware of ALL the consquences of your actions. Understand that he will more than likely NEVER leave his wife for you, he'll put you second to everything else in his life. You are playing with fire if you want to see how he'll react. All you'll be doing is feeding his ego, and hoping that he "wants" you. And, even if he did "want" you that way, is that going to make you feel good? That he wants to have sex with you? Remember too - Most men can separate love and sex. If you think he's flirting with you, knowing that you have this crush - and returning the feelings, you're fooling yourself. To him, it makes him feel good, but when he goes home to his wife, the chances of you being in his head are slim to none...Sorry to sound harsh but you need a reality check.
norajane Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Thx guys, I will take all of your advise and really think about it...any particular threads I should read that are somewhat like this one? This is a similar situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t98419/?highlight=blueeyedgirl and her follow-up thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t100338/?highlight=blueeyedgirl I guess if you want to end up begging for bits of attention from a MM, nothing we say is going to do you any good. You may be getting your own ego boost from these little flirting games, but in the end, you will be the one who is hurt. Also, keep in mind, this is your workplace. Anything that happens with you and this man will be fodder for office gossip, if you aren't already. And you will be the one who will suffer most for it, one way or another.
Seen_It_All Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 If I do say come on to him, which I won't, basically he will just laugh it off, because he's older, and married and just wants to see how I will react...is that correct? LOL..is this a joke? Let's see, an older MM whose lapping up attention from a younger gal. Nothing unusual THERE, right? I'm sure it happens every day to him..not. He'll probably take as much as you will offer him. And then when the thrill of the chase wears off for him, he'll set his sights on another willing girl. From everything I've seen on these boards, landing a MM in bed is about as easy as putting on your socks. Except socks have more value.
pricillia Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 LOL..is this a joke? Let's see, an older MM whose lapping up attention from a younger gal. Nothing unusual THERE, right? I'm sure it happens every day to him..not. He'll probably take as much as you will offer him. And then when the thrill of the chase wears off for him, he'll set his sights on another willing girl. From everything I've seen on these boards, landing a MM in bed is about as easy as putting on your socks. Except socks have more value. and you know how to put on your socks!
puddleofmud Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Does it matter what "HE" thinks, or what "HE" is doing, or what "HE" wants? What matters is YOUR behavior and what YOU want...is your problem about how to deflect his behavior? It's simple: be disinterested. No matter what signals he sends--you've no obligation to bother with it just as you would anyone that doesn't suit you (married men are not suitable to say the least). Men do adore an ego boost now and then; but it's how one reacts as to whether or not they receive said boost. A bored demeanor and a little yawn while dismissing him QUICKLY should do the trick!
elijahBailey Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 If I do say come on to him, which I won't, basically he will just laugh it off, because he's older, and married and just wants to see how I will react...is that correct? You've gotta be kidding me.. No you can't be serious. If I were him, and you says "come on", I would. Go ahead and try and tell me that I'm wrong. But hey, you've been warned. Btw, I know why you're asking all this. You need to know that he would really want you if you offered and that he's not just teasing. I know the feeling. Well, I'll tell you now, he's not just teasing. He would take up your offer. Now be good and move along now. I've been there, trust me on this.
riobikini Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 re: Mary Shadows: "I need some opions. There's this MM who found out I have been crushing on him, and he comes around me all the time now. He finds some way to make me look at him, I think it's b-c he knows I will, b-c I do find myself attracted to him. Do you think he's doing it b-c he likes the attention? Or is playing with my mind? Or is waiting for me to say something? Keep in mind, he's married now......" (Smile) OK -I'm keeping that in mind when I say, Mary -in the wild, it's the young and the weak who get eaten up, first. I can see you already qualify for the "weak" part because you've already been sucked in (you're entertaining the thoughts and glances). I also suspect you're between 20 and 25. Assuming I'm correct (and God knows I'm not perfect and could certainly be far off the mark) married men love that age range, mostly, because they feel they have a better chance at the "goods" due to lack of relationship savvy (less experience, less knowlege). If he's correct -and you start to suddenly feel "special" because of all the attention this "older", experienced, "worldly" man is giving you- then you're *exactly* the young, weak, inexperienced target he can really start to work on shaping you, filling your head with misleading little thoughts (or outright lies), giving you a false confidence, and never have to worry about your waking up, until it's too late to realize you've been used. Give yourself a chance with someone without such a heavy *agenda* -not to mention a wife, already. Take the advice of those who've posted to steer clear. You can do it -just say, "No!" (Smile) -Rio
Guest Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Another great post by Rio!!! He's not acting very professional in the workplace for starters. He also sounds like an egomaniac to come sniffing around a young woman who has a "crush". So either he's satisfying his own ego and using you or he'll make a play and again be using you. Either way you get used. Tell this bozo to take a hike.
justice Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Mary, please wake up here hon. Not only are you intruding on someone else's territory, but imagine what will happen if you pursue this and his wife finds out and comes straight on for you? You will get thrown under the wheels of the biggest bus imaginable and it will be by the MM too. Are you ready for that? And I guarantee you the wife will find out. And it won't be pretty. Please think about this seriously before you do something that will alter your life, your reputation and possibly get you fired as well. Good luck and keep sane.
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