amberwboone Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I have posted on here before! It has been three weeks! Sigh! We are still apart! The thing is he tells me he loves me he kisses me still (only after I intiate it but he kisses back). He tells me that he needs time. Has anyone had this situation before. I am soooo scared to not call him in fear he will forget about me! Or what if he meets someone else! Oh dear this is the hardes thing I have been through. Does anyone have any advice or been in the same situation!
BillionDollarBaby Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I've just read your previous post, and I feel for you. The thing that gets me is he says needs time but yet he's kissing you still? That is totally unfair, he can't have it all his way. I know it's hard, but DON'T call him, unless it regards your child or issues that are not about the relationship. Why worry about him meeting someone else? It's tough, and I know exactly where you're coming from. I've been in the situation. I realised a while later, there was nothing I could do to prevent him meeting anyone else. It's a sad fact, but it's true. He won't forget about you. Did you say how old he was? If he doesn't know what he wants, then he doesn't want you enough.
Author amberwboone Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 Ya he is twenty nine. LOL! Ya we aren't kids anymore! Thanks for the reply this is the hardest time of my life! It is hard to talk to family members they kind have biased opinions! It is cool how there is a little online support group!
alexa137 Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 girl i'm going through the same thing! and i just joined and posted my problem tonight--i have it bad because we live together so i have to see him everyday! and he sleeps with me and we still have sex! its so hard! i cry all day for 4 days! hes the first guy who truly really loved me--next month would have been a year-i think i'm gonna try to tell him to sleep on couch starting tonight til he moves out because its too hard laying next to him and having sex just hurts my feelings more-you would think if someone truly loves you they dont quit or give up-i'm hoping he gives me another chance to prove to him i have changed and i promised him and wrote 4-5 letter the past week saying im sorry etc.... its depressing...
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 "I need time" = "I'm not really into this relationship" He kisses you back, and tells you that he loves you and I'm sure he does. The problem is, is that for him it isn't enough to prevent him from needing "time" away from you. I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you, and may be telling you that he loves you and kisses you to spare your feelings. Does he still love you? I'm sure he does, however - you can love someone still, even as you find yourself drifting away from them emotionally. He isn't going to forget you if you don't call him or contact him. You don't need to remind him that you are there, and how you feel. He already knows this, and this is what it is he needs "time" for. If you are calling him frequently, or frequently contacting him by other means - you will want to slow that down. If you do that to a person who has told you "I need time", all you will get is a "I need space" to go along with that "I need time". As for him meeting someone else, well I don't know how to put this gently - but chances are there is already someone else he has in mind and he is torn over this. This is the primary reason that partners start needing "time" and "space".
ratingsguy Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 "I need time" = "I'm not really into this relationship" While that may be true some of the time, I disagree that that is a steadfast rule in the dating handbook. Unless of course you're referring strictly to what the original poster is going through. In which case, I think it's probably on the money. Some people truly need time to work out exactly what they're feeling from an emotional perspective. I believe that's true, especially in the case of someone who's gone through a life altering event. AWB - You need to begin distancing yourself from this guy... and you absolutely have to start with the physical stuff. It's definately not fair to you.
Guest Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Thanks everyone for there stories and advice! There is a big part of me that thinks he does have another girl(although he wont admit it). He works out of town M-F and comes home on the weekends. He has been doing this for about about 4 months and surprise we are broke up. When he was a bit younger he cheated on his old girlfriend while he was working out of town. He told me that he was to old for that and it just got him in trouble in the long run (long story). I guess I need to write him off as much as I can(mean we have a daughter). He says he wants to be friends and all that fuun stuff. I can't do it though because for some reason my mind confuses friendliness to wanting to get back together! I could rant and rave like this allll day long! It really sucks I am glad there are so many people out there to lean on! I am going to pay it forward and read some other threads and see if I have any usefull advice lol for someone lo. Thanks
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