jgaz3124 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I have to start off by saying that this forum is great! I love reading the post and it helps me feel like my situation is not so alone. I have been broken up with my ex now for about six and half months. At the beginning I was hurting like hell and cried for what seemed like weeks. Then I got a new prespective on things and started to move on. I was dating and I was making new friends and basically rebuliding my life in a lot more ways than just one. But about 2 weeks ago I have started thinking of my ex again and I can't get him out of my mind. I miss him so much that I feel like I have been put back into stage one of my healing process. I started reading my journal that I have kept of the relationship and all that I was going thru and it has helped me realize why the relationship is not there anymore and why this is better but I still feel myself falling back to the old way of thinking. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had made progress in the healing process and then has just been thrown back to a earlier stage it just like that months after the breakup. And yes I have been reading the forum and have come to realize that yes many people do. But wow I really thought I was doing so good. It is very fustrating.
kitten chick Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Probably everyone. There are periods that come and go after you think you're over it when you feel like you're still healing but they go away. They'll come back again and it just hurts less and less each time. Just ride it out and focus on yourself and your life and all of the good things in it and everything will come into place over time.
resi71 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 i had once the gf ,lived together 6 years,up and downs,she slept who know how many guys and with my best friend(found out last month).i fight and fight over her.finally i moved back to europe.first month was hard,now i am back in US about year and i do not care about her,we talk,we are friends,allso with her bf,because i do not care about her
FallenTree Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Yeah I've gone through periods like that...where I think I'm over the guy then I'm really not. But what feels good is when you realize you just don't care anymore!
johnnytable Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Funny that you post this because I'm going through the same thing at about the 9 month mark.
ae4e Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Yeah the pain does dwindle each time you fall into those periods of wanting your ex back. I have noticed this, first time this happened, it took me DAYS to get over it. Then the next day, maybe a day...then the third time, it only took a few hours. Now I am not saying it will go away that quickly, it is different for everyone, but hang in there. I still have that stupid pain coming back.....I wish it would go away too! Love is not easy, thats for sure.
Author jgaz3124 Posted February 23, 2007 Author Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah I know I can get by without him but there are still moments when I just miss him so bad. You know I even still sometimes have to keep myself from calling him. Oh well life goes on I guess!!!
Santiago 17 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I am at the six month mark too. I was doing awesome, and then last Tuesday I got the flu, and found this V-day e-mail she sent me, and heard that she quit smoking, and I feel horrible. I didn't respond to the email, but I want to sooooooooo badly, I haven't felt this bad for months. I know what you mean, it just hurts so bad again and then there is the extra anger and frustration of being set back when you were doing so well. It is crazy b/c every time I find myself really starting to heal its like she knows, and knows just what to do, so that it sets me back, but only makes her look like she is being sweet (and maybe she is I don't know) so I can't even get mad about it! I am sooooooooo miserable right now. I cried about it the other day and I haven't done that in at least four months! I really hope I can bounce back to were I was!!!!
fjk82 Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 Hey there.. Not sure if you are firmiliar with my posts BUT I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I was with my X for 4 years and we lived together for 3 years. I broke up with him last Easter. I went crazy, filled with regreat, etc. Now ALMOST a year later..I still have a relapse.. I have only lately like within the past 2months have started to get better and actually move on. Ill be doing GREAT then all of a sudden..I fall.. But everyone does..Love hurts..Its not easy to move on with life when you feel a part of you is missing. But the only thing that helps..Is time..Stay active..Try new things..And when you start to feel down and you can't motivate yourself to get up and get busy..Its ok to cry..just for a moment..Because sometimes letting it all out is the only thing that helps But just remember..When ur done letting it out...Smile and realize that things are going to get better with time Go pop in an eposide of Sex N The City and drink a glass of wine and u will be back on track in no time!!! Stay positive..Your not alone..
Author jgaz3124 Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 It is so funny that you mention sex and the city, I love that show and it always makes me feel so much better. I am doing better since I have started this post but I have my days. I have come to terms with our break up and I do realize that I am now happier in my life and I have started rebuilding old friendships that I have neglected. I do miss him but I def. don't need him anymore. Life goes on right.
D-Lish Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I am just past the 6 month mark. I had only been dating my guy for a year when we broke up. I don't know why the break up has impacted me so strongly. I slip in and out of sadness still. As much as I know he isn't/wasn't right for me... I still love him deeply and wish he was still in my life. Relapses happen to the best of us. I can say that I don't feel as horrible as I did immediately following the demise of our relationship. I fell hard, and remained pretty upset for a few months. I find that I swing in and out of sadness depending on what's going on in my life. I have a feeling that in my situation it's going to take meeting a special person to help me forget my ex completely.
Author jgaz3124 Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 You know what D-Lish I can completely understand what you are saying. I was with my ex for a year when we broke up. He was the boyfriend that I have had and yes I think it will take someone extra special to make me forget completely about my ex. But I think in time that person will come along.
johnnytable Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 Do you guys think that we sometimes swing into sadness regardless (not everybody is happy 100% of the time) and during these times, we associate it with the breakup and the ex? Maybe we aren't even sad about them really. Maybe we are just sad but think it is them. Does this make any sense?
Author jgaz3124 Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 Do you guys think that we sometimes swing into sadness regardless (not everybody is happy 100% of the time) and during these times, we associate it with the breakup and the ex? Maybe we aren't even sad about them really. Maybe we are just sad but think it is them. Does this make any sense? You do make a very good point. I guess now that I think about it when I get a down I start to think about my ex and then I guess I have a reason to blame the sadness on him. I mean this is not always the case sometimes I will be really happy and then a thought of him will cross my mind and I will start to miss him, in those times I can usually bounce back pretty good, but when I am truely upset about something then I start to think of him and I can't bounce back as well. I think when we do think about them when we are sad that there is still sadness inside of us that is very real for them and we just needed to find an outlet to get some of it out. I have no idea if I just made any sense at all or not but oh well there is my 2 cents.
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