BeckyMP Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 Hi Everyone, I'm new to this site, and it's a little bit strange asking this question because I have not talked about this to anyone else. My boyfriend and I have only been together for about about two months. He's a great guy and I love spending time with him! The problem is that I just found out last weekend that he is moving to California in the summer. I am in Cleveland. His friend, who he is working for, recently hired him for his company and is offering to pay for everything. This shouldn't have come as a huge shock because I know he had mentioned before that his friend had asked him to move out there for work, and that he was thinking about it, but it still hurts a little. Like I said, we haven't been together for very long and I can't expect him to just hang out here for me since we just recently started dating. The other part is that his friend invited me to come along. My boyfriend even said that he would like me to go. They both agreed that it's a huge decision to make and I don't have to decide now since it's not happening for awhile. I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm trying not to let it get to me since we only started dating about a couple months ago. A lot can happen over the next few months, so who knows. It's hard to just let it go and not worry a little bit though. I have not talked about this to anyone because I'm afraid that I will get a ton of questions that I won't know how to answer. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or what, but I guess I just wanted to get someone's opinion on the situation. How would you handle this? Would it bother you? Becky
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 Hmmmm..... that's a toughie. Cleveland....? California...? Cleveland.... snowbelt, cold, scraping ice off the cars.....? California.... warm, sunny, beautiful.....? Seriously, though! As a fellow Ohioan, I love the state and could never leave!!! But I thought I would share a story with you of two people who were together A WEEK! My ex's parents (back in the late sixties or early seventies), met in France. He was only there for one more week when he had met her, and then he was moving to Mexico for his job. He bought her a one way ticket to Mexico and told her he'd love it if she came. She did, and they got married and are still married all these years later!! If I were you I'd follow my heart. I probably wouldn't do it, but you never know. Residences aren't permanent, like say, a tatoo If you move out there and realize it was a mistake, I think Cleveland would take you back!
norajane Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Consider the move as though you would not have anything to do with this boyfriend...worst case scenario, you move and break-up afterwards: - has this friend offered you a job? is it a job that will further your career? would you stay in the job if you broke up with bf? could you stay in the job under those circumstances? - consider the cost of living in CA, which is way higher than Cleveland. Would you be able to pay your own rent at CA rent prices (much higher than OH)? Would real estate prices out there prevent you from buying your own condo/home for years and is that an issue for you? Do you have enough savings to survive for 6 months if you were to lose your job in CA? - you have to have a car in CA - can you afford the higher registration and higher gas prices out there? How will you get your car there? Drive it? Transport it? Count on $1,000 to transport, or add up all the gas you'd spend driving. - Do you have enough in savings to pay for a move back to Cleveland if things don't work out? Do you have enough in savings to get by until you get a new job back in Cleveland? Do you have furniture that you will move out there? - Do you have any friends or family in CA? Are you close to your friends and family in OH? How will you feel being without them in CA, especially if you break up with bf? That said, I'm originally from the midwest and lived in San Francisco for 6 years. Had it not been for family and friends, I would never, ever have moved back. California is truly paradise!
Lauriebell82 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 i would agree with everything norajane said. u guys have only been together a couple months. are u in love? is it a real serious relationship? even if it is already, 2 months is not a strong foundation to be making a life changing decision on. is he willing to do long distance? like fly to see u for a weekend? if so u might just want to try long distance until u guys have been together longer. if the relationship turns very serious in the future then u could always consider moving out there to be with him. california will always be there for u!
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