Guest Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 I'm in a ldr that started right before he was deployed. The letters have been good, but lately he has started to get really explicitly sexual, describing how huge his organ is, how he likes to have sex, and even writing pages-long descriptions of how he is going to "do" me. I am really put off by this. I just wonder if I'm being up tight and what he is doing is normal for a guy, or if there is maybe some hangup he has that he is sooooo obsessed with sex?
Sweetie2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I'm in a ldr that started right before he was deployed. The letters have been good, but lately he has started to get really explicitly sexual, describing how huge his organ is, how he likes to have sex, and even writing pages-long descriptions of how he is going to "do" me. I am really put off by this. I just wonder if I'm being up tight and what he is doing is normal for a guy, or if there is maybe some hangup he has that he is sooooo obsessed with sex? Personally, I don't think that's as bad as it could be. How long have you been in the LDR? I'm in an LDR, 5000 miles, for 2 years now, going on 2.5. My boyfriend and I met for the first time 8 months into the relationship, and are currenly together for 3 months (the last 2 and next 1). (I don't know about your relationship, so I'm giving small details about mine as an example, hoping its helpful) We've always been very open about what we want and don't want, online, and in person. It makes it easier to talk about everything, if we are open all of the time, apart or not. Sex was one of those topics which culturally was okay for him to talk about to anyone, but not as much myself. My views were different though, and fit more to his. I guess that was the lucky thing with us, we agreed. You asked if it is a guy thing to be "obsessed" with sex. I don't think of it as obsessed, I just think of it that their sex desires are different than that of a women. Have you tried talking to him about it? Write to him and tell him if your not comfortable with what he's writing. If he doesn't respect that, my opinion is that he doesn't respect you, so what will he be like when your together? The other thing to consider, is your age, what is yours compared to his, is he older than you? Culture can be something that has an effect too, as I mentioned above with my boyfriend. I hope this has helped, I'm not sure what else to tell you, but I hope it all works out!
norajane Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 When my bf and I were long distance, I used to write him personalized porn...I'm a writer, so it was just a different kind of writing to me, plus it was fun to tell him what I would like us to do together on our next visit. He loved it! You could just be flattered that he is thinking of you...and maybe even write back with your own erotic fantasies. I don't see anything wrong with it. Keep in mind, he is deployed far away from you, and he misses you, and he misses sex. He could be having sex with someone instead of thinking of you and writing to you, you know.
LN99 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Personally I wouldn't think bad of this at all! He wants you, and wants to be with you. Since he cannot, he is doing the next best thing. Plus, he is including you in his fantasies and sharing them with you. Personally, I would be flattered. I recently reconnected with an old bf of mine and he lives a good 3 hrs away. We talk everyday on the net(cuz its cheaper) and we even got the web cams going etc. Once in awhile we will share what we want to do to each other. Our fantasies...etc. Since we can't get away from our busy lives much, this is the next best thing. Plus, it just makes things build until the next time we see each other and we can try em out! As Nora pointed out, at least he is sharing this with you and not someone else.
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