Sunshine Superman Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 Not really sure why I am doing this, I suppose I just need to throw this stuff out to people who might understand. I've been separated four years now. There were various reasons for the separation and I fully admit and accept my share of the blame. I had stuck my head in the sand for quite a long time over our problems and when things finally came to a head, I suggested counselling but my wife said this was "too little too late" and that we needed a break from each other. I agreed to this even though I didn't really want to split up. In the last year or so we've barely spoken apart from a few trivial emails (we live a far distance apart as I moved back to my home town.) We agreed that we could date other people while separated but that we wouldn't tell each other if we were seeing someone else, in her words "If I knew you were seeing someone else I know it would drive me crazy so I don't want to know." I feel pretty much the same on that score. In the last four years I have had a few casual relationships, but nothing has got serious because I simply have not met anyone that I care about as I do my wife. As for her, I don't know, she could even be living with someone else by now, I'm too scared to find out. After four years I still think about her every day. I still get very depressed and wish we had tried harder to try and salvage the marriage instead of just separating. I still dream about her all the time, I have sad and depressing dreams where I'm trying to talk to her but she's pushing me away, and I wake up feeling like crying. My life seems empty and pointless. I just drift by, day to day, doing the same old things, yet going nowhere. I feel as if I am a ghost that is trapped in the land of the living. There is no love or companionship, or intimacy. Do I still love her? I don't know. Maybe I do, or maybe it's the lack of a new relationship that's causing me to dwell on things. I just don't know what I feel any more. Some days I think that I am seriously losing my mind. What is the point of all this.. I don't know.
john-1968 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 welcome ss to the world of LS. there are alot of people here that are here for you, and other´s that would think that you are NUT´S!!!! Sorry, but i think you are NUT´S. If you thought that you could come here, and we would make everything alright, guess again. We are here for you, but after 4 YEAR´S??????????? NO CONTACT;NO CONTACT;NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!! This is the reason why you can´t have a new relationship with another, the wife is alway´s on your mind. DON´T contact her anymore! LEAVE IT!!!!!!!! Maybe you need a bit of counselling to help you, no big thing, we all need a little help with our life´s sometime´s. You have your own life, GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!! If i didn´t make myself clear the first time, NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It´s not easy, but it get´s easier,trust US, think you are the only one? Think again. Not being mean to you, but sometime´s everyone need´s a slap in the face to wake them up. Start doing thing´s for you, she´s not there any more, you live many mile´s apart, GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!! NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT!!!! Live it, learn it,deal with it, get rid of it! all the best, john
Ladyjane14 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 My life seems empty and pointless. I just drift by, day to day, doing the same old things, yet going nowhere. I feel as if I am a ghost that is trapped in the land of the living. There is no love or companionship, or intimacy. See your doctor for a depression screening. It's been four years. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say your feelings of emptiness are probably NOT stemming from relationship issues.
MoonGirl Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I agree with LadyJane. Please see a therapist and a psychiatrist. It sounds like you're terribly depressed.
frannie Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 My life seems empty and pointless. I just drift by, day to day, doing the same old things, yet going nowhere. I feel as if I am a ghost that is trapped in the land of the living. There is no love or companionship, or intimacy. Do I still love her? I don't know. Maybe I do, or maybe it's the lack of a new relationship that's causing me to dwell on things. I just don't know what I feel any more. Some days I think that I am seriously losing my mind. What is the point of all this.. I don't know. Hello SS. I'm in England too. I agree with the other posters who said it sounds very much like you are depressed. This could have stemmed from anything, possibly the separation, or from nothing at all. I've suffered from depression at various times in my life and this time of year certainly doesn't help. The first thing you could do is to get yourself to your G.P. and tell him/her how you're feeling they will be able to help. Although what they will almost certainly do is prescribe medication. Even so, that can be really useful. You've identified a few things yourself that you can change: one is to change your routine a little (or a lot). I know you probably don't feel like it, but doing something out of the ordinary or challenging (even on a small scale) will make a difference. Also, do you exercise regularly..? I know everyone says this, but it helps a LOT... even if you don't feel like it when you set out, you'll get a boost. Oh, and try to get as much natural light/ sunlight as possible... not easy at the moment!
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