sarah86busty Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 Iam new to this so il just try my best lol I met mark (my boyfriend) when i was 16 and he was 18, we met on the internet and when we meet in person everything felt so right. I wanted to stay with him but my mum kept dragging me back home so i got pregnant so we could be together, i know thats not the best reason in the world to have a baby but i was only 16 and i do love my son with all my heart and have never regretted having him. When my son was born we were discussing surnames,mark said he wasnt bothered but im quite old fashioned and think a child should take his fathers name if your still together, i asked if we would get married one day as i wanted to have the sam surname as my son he said yes one day. When i was 19 i got sick of waiting around so i asked him to buy me an engagment ring (cheeky i know) and on christmas eve 2004 he proposed to me (i admit i had to push him for it). Since then i have been asking him when we can set a date and after being engaged for 2 years just a few months before i turned 21 he told me he would never marry me. Im so heartbroken by this as i love him so much. I feel like ive been living inside of a huge bubble all safe and and sound and he got the biggest pin he could find to burst my bubble and ever since he told me i feel like im falling all the time with no where to land. I know i pushed him into proposing to me but thats only because i thought we were gonna get married, if id have known he wasnt going to marry me i wouldnt of given my son his surname. Im sure what i should do anymore, i hate the idea of never getting married and never being someones wife, but i dont want my son to grow up without his father around him, mark has told me that if we were to spilt up he wouldnt see his son anymore as he would find it to painful to see me, i grew up without my dad around and i no how painful that can be and i always swore i would put my childs happiness first. I really dont know what to do, i want my son to have his but it hurts so much knowing that id never be able to get married one day. A part of me still loves mark but not like i did before as hes really hurt me. Can anyone help me as i feel so lost?
insomnie Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Wow. Before I say anything else...I am must say I am struck by the fact that he told you he wouldn't see his OWN SON anymore if you two broke up. What kind of a father is he? I guess this is why children should not have babies... Anyway... did you ask him why he won't marry you? Does he have someting against marriag,e or is it you specifically he never wants to marry? Have you talked to him about where he sees the relationship going in 1, 3 5, 10 years? What he wants out of it, or a relationship ideally? I think you need to talk to him more about this and get to the root of this. It's hard to tell you what to do when even you have no idea what he is thinking. I do think he's incredibly immature (and a horrible person...but that is just my opinion) for being able to so easily abandon a 5 year old child.
Guest Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 I know that it is hard to grow up without a father, but it would be much better to grow up with a father who would want to be a part of your life no matter what. There are plenty of men who marry women who have children and they love and raise the children as their own. It really sounds like this man doesn't love you or his child. Five years is plenty of time to know if you want to marry someone and so I would choose to move on. Just be sure to go to court to get child support payments that you need to help raise your son.
IpAncA Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Kind of confused because he doesn't want to marry you but if you both were to break up he wouldn't see his son. Why? Does he just not want to get married now or does he just want to say with you but not add the marriage part? I wouldn't jump to conclusions and think you'll never find anyone.
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