perspektiv Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 Long story short, my ex and I broke up in november. We prolonged the break up for 2 months so we could go on a planned trip to Mexico. Today marks the 3 week point of NC for me. I last spoke to her on saturday 3 weeks ago. She called me the following saturday. I didn’t answer. She left a message saying that she had a bad night and blacked out. She wanted to talk to me for some reason. I couldn’t believe that after a week of not speaking, all she wanted was for me to piece together her blacked out bad night. Since then I have been very self destructive. I’ve been going out a lot and partying. I usually get pretty wasted when I go out, but it has been much more frequent. I also have been sleeping with a lot of girls. I mean, to some people that doesn’t sound bad, but I’ve always been a relationship person. Here I am for the first time wanting nothing to do with a relationship. I slept with 4 different girls within 4 days 2 weeks ago, and this past week wasn’t much different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging here. I’m trying to emphasize the difference between who I was before this past relationship, and who I have been lately. I’m sitting here disappointed in myself, and above all, wanting to contact her. I don’t even know what to say to her, but I feel as though I have lost more than a girlfriend. The break up was her doing. She needed to be free to do whatever she wants. I just don’t know what to do. I’m past the helpless, needy point in all of this. I could go on forever without talking to her, but, I wish it were different. I wonder if she even cares anymore. I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish with this post. I guess its an update, and it helps to vent. It makes it easier not to contact her. As for me right now, I’m going to try to take a step back from what I’ve been doing lately. I haven’t been dealing with the pain... only masking it....
oppath Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 Well, what you are doing is OK if you moderate it a bit. I'd suggest slightly slowing down on the drinking. It is a depressant. I find myself thinking about my ex far TOO MUCH on weekend days because of my hangover. The alcohol does not help emotionally. Perhaps you can still go out a lot and drink less. Also, this might make you choose better when sleeping with these women. I get the sense you aren't proud of this. Nothing is wrong with it, but perhaps you should be in a mental/sober state where you can CHOOSE to sleep with the girl, and possibly turn her down, rather than be so drunk it just happens. What you are doing and feeling is normal in a sense. I'd just suggest slowing down, and perhaps finding some activity (sports team for example) during the week that is social, and may involve drinking, but not getting drunk. this way your mind will be off your ex but you won't be further depressing yourself.
ratingsguy Posted February 18, 2007 Posted February 18, 2007 I’m sitting here disappointed in myself, and above all, wanting to contact her. I'm so there with you, brother. Today is 14 days of NC for me. I'd love to call my ex, but I know I can't. It's not going to help me, it's not going to help her, and it's not going to help us. We both need time apart, and given the circumstances, I understand. You'll feel better over time. I'm depressed like you are right now, but I've gone through this once before, so I know it does get better. And please let me know what bar you hang out at, because I wouldn't object to getting laid four nights in a row. Good, bad or indifferent, I guarantee that will take my mind off of things, if even just momentarily!
Author perspektiv Posted February 18, 2007 Author Posted February 18, 2007 Thanks for the responses guys... Yes, what you said was right oppath. I'm not exactly proud of myself. The depression has definitely been lessening, and I'm seeing myself coming out of this phase. That was the basis of the post I guess. I came to a realization that I should be a bit more respectful of myself. ratingsguy, you are right. Talking in any form won't help either of us. I know I can hold back no problem. As for the getting laid part, I knew most of them before hand. A couple were girls I was with before. I'm not big on the one night stand, but I haven't turned it down lately either. It does take your mind off things, thats for sure. It doesn't cure anything though...
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