ajolie1982 Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 i found out two days ago that my boyfriend of two years has lived a double life. he has been in a long term relationship with a girl for 7 years and living with her for 3 years while making a family with me. when i met him i had a one year old daughter and a single mother. he took on the role of being her dad and she began to call him "daddy" with out me even asking him. we were trying to have a baby together and have a family getting married and buying a house while the whole time he was with her. going home to what i thought was his dad but really her every night. they both say the girl(which called me to let me know) and him say they havent had sex for 2 years and that she knew about me! And my daughter! he now tells me that he wanted it to come out but could bring him self to tell me and that he still want to make this work. as much as i try i cant hate him and believe ive tried but i cant. he doesnt blame anyone but himself and doesnt expect me to forgive him or that i owe him anything. but i dont know what to do he still is the only dad my daughter knows and he still he want to be her dad . i dont know how to feel . im just num cant feel anything. i dont know what to do cause i still have love for him and ... i cant think straight! i dont know what to tell my daughter our daughter?
justpassingthrough Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 i dont know what to tell my daughter our daughter? The truth. Not now. She's young (maybe 3?) and that's far too young to comprehend what's happening. IF, when she's older, she asks you might consider telling her, but not right now. Young children should not be privy to grown up problems. Ever.
LN99 Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 Get out of this situation now! Yes, your daughter will notice the difference with him gone, but at least she is like 3 or 4 and not older. Don't tell her all the details, but just pick up and move on. A lot of kids go thru this at a young age. Honestly, I think it would be easier to move on now then to wait until she's older and understands more and gets even more attached. Plus, in terms of you....This guy has had a whole other relationship going on and how would you ever be able to trust him in the future? Your relationship with him was built on lies from the beginning on his part. So its best to move on.
che_jesse Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 She called you to let you know about herself why? If she was ok with you and it was not a "I'm getting my cheating boyfriend back" move then why call? Was the idea that all three of you live together? I think you should get out now, your daughter wont even remember him.
Reckless Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 Childrend's security comes from their 'parents' being solid; strong and happy. It is sad if the only man your daughter has known as her 'daddy' fails to remain in the picture but explaining it to her when she is older, why he didn't stay around will be easier than explaining why 'daddy' is a chronic liar. This is a major, MAJOR thing - either this man is a pathalogical liar or has some other kind of mental or emotional problem that lead him to lead a double life, either way bringing your daughter up with someone like that out of choice is a big thing and, as much as you have affection for this man I'd think very, very seriously before I set up house and established a family with someone capable of the systematic lying, scheming, planning and pretending and dilustional thinking that would be needed on a daily basis to live a lie the way he has done.
Guest Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 I wouldnt walk out of this one I would RUN!!! There are better guys out there for you, dont worry about this dirtbag, just worry about you and your daughter and mister right will come and when he does dont try to have a baby with him until you are MARRIED, and he has declared his intentions, you dont want to end up a single mom of two or more
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