Zankon Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 AAAAAlright, believe it or not I 've had 8 girlfriends so far. The average dating time is 2 years. I have never made the first move :-) true. Maybe I'm a sissy or just a patient man. Anywho I broke up with my last darling and met this girl and I decided I'd make a move for once. She seems like those tough ones to get. She gave me her cell and all. So i texted her asking her out for a up of coffee on thursday after work (after V-day). She didn't reply. So she called me next day and told me with a dry bossy voice that she called me for 2 reasons. 1-for the txt 2-for work. Her: I prefer to keep this relationship at a professional level Me: That's ok, at least I tried. Her: I'm sorry but fshhh fshh fshhh fshh valentine fshh fshh (she was kinda whispering so I couldn't hear well and I didn't ask her to repeat herself) Me: Don't worry it's not a big deal. How about the work thing? Her: Yeah about that...mm... well..uh... the...the... client is mm... is ...uh [she was literally stuttering] Me: Do you have this info in a document? Her: Yes actually Me: Well, why don't you just email it to me and I ll review it Her: Haha that's true how silly of me Me: Thanks and we'll keep in touch Her: yeah... yeah sure ... uh when do you think you can get back to me on that? Me: You'll find my review in your email inbox first thing in the morning; how about that for a Speedy Gonzales? Her: oh.. (cleared throat) yep thanks (sound of a smile). Click - Click Can anybody explain what created such a behavior or what's this all about please?
Violet_Sky Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 I almost think she was caught off guard because of your 'oh well, at least I tried.' she was expecting you to keep trying and convincing her to go out. then you stayed professional with her. then she tried to explain herself further about keeping it on a professional level with you, and you said 'don't worry about it,no big deal.' Good job. I think you did the right thing, you played it cool, and made her have second thoughts, the fact you didn't persist more with her is driving her nuts. At least this is what I can gather from the phone call. I think you've gotten under her skin. You're a natural. I can see how you've had good luck with women. What does a smile sound like?
Walk Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 I'm wondering if maybe she's going through a rough spot or something. maybe just got out of a relationship or something? I say this because you implied she gave you her cell as though it weren't "work" related. You hadn't needed it before. And unless done completely in context of work relations then there's always that hidden implication when a man asks for a womans number... Anyway.. The coffee idea was good. Less pressure, and no expectations. She should've taken you up on it. Other possibilities: She's in a relationship, or recently started dating someone but maybe isn't sure if there's a future in it. She might not have wanted to hurt your feelings by telling you she's not interested, so used work as an excuse. Potentially she was unhappy with your choice of "asking" her out. You should've called her, not text messaged. She may have initially been attracted, but is now second guessing who you are inside. Actually.. I'm wondering if it wasn't that last one... the text message would've thrown me for a loop, and I probably would've redirected the relationship toward "friends" or work at that point too.
Walk Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 Her: I'm sorry but fshhh fshh fshhh fshh valentine fshh fshh (she was kinda whispering so I couldn't hear well and I didn't ask her to repeat herself) What she really was saying is "My bf refused to let me cancel our date so I could meet up with you ." Just kidding. I hate low talkers. bugs me to no end.
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 I think you reacted perfectly although I wished that you could have asked her to repeat her whispering in a louder, more professional voice, lol.
Sand&Water Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 RE: Can anybody explain what created such a behavior or what's this all about please? Simple. Any living and sane human being can sense attitude during a telephone conversation. What did you sense, Zankon? She is smart. She knows how to present herself, without being a doormat. She gave you the ultra professional attitude because she wants you to come to her level. She wants to show her strong side, in order to control the situation and turn it in her favor. How far are you willing to go -chase after her, that is? You need rise up to her level. When she realizes that you are no longer just a 'nice guy', she'll let her guard down. Otherwise: IF you keep it up like this, she will just dig you down -interest decline. You need to have a good plan. Play it in full swing. She likes you. IF she responds with disinterest -then you have your answer. Good Luck, Sand&Water
Author Zankon Posted February 17, 2007 Author Posted February 17, 2007 Rise to her level?!? I'm not sure I m getting your point. I asked for a "coffee date" not a "court date" :-) How far are you willing to go -chase after her, that is? No I m not going any further with this. I asked once to get to know her more and vice versa. Yes/no ok thanks for your time. She knows how to present herself, without being a doormat I never knew that asking someone out for a cup of coffee is synonym to "you're a doormat if you say yes". Sorry SandWater but I don't think I m getting any of your points.
Sand&Water Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 RE: This is not about yes or no answer. Which ever way you want to view it. But, it is her attitude. In her case, conversing with a man with that professional aura/attitude all the time isn't benefiting her. It is not healthy. Since this is the way she wants it, then it is unlikely for any man will be able to come close to her, satisfy her needs -in the least bit for her to open up to him. Her world isn't meshing with your world. Period. You are different than her -and that isn't a bad thing. Sometimes, women can be hard-headed. Don't worry about it though, her loss. Sand&Water
Pretty Fly Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 Sorry SandWater but I don't think I m getting any of your points. Ha, maybe this is one of those "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" moments, becsue I didn't understand it either!!
elijahBailey Posted February 17, 2007 Posted February 17, 2007 ok, I'm not understanding any of the things you peeps are saying here, except what Walk was saying. Now, why do we need to read in between the lines? know what I mean? Girl says she wants things at the professional level. That's cool and that's what she literally means. Girl stutters a little while she talks. So what? Don't mean nuthin'. It sure doesn't mean she was bluffing. It was an uncomfortable situation to begin with. I would stutter if I were her. Plus, she didn't reply to OP's texts. It couldn't have been clearer if you asked me. On the other hand, I thought OP handled the situation extraordinarily well. Calm and composed. I could learn a thing or two from him.
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