Lost In Translation Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I want to know what I can do to save a friendship. I am at a loss right now. I love this friend as much as family, even more sometimes. She has problems from the past and some difficult times in the present but I can't seem to help her and it breaks my heart. I know she is back to drinking and I try to be understanding but I think it is going to destroy her life. I get the feeling every time I get too close to her she pushes me away. I don't really think she even realizes this. its just a defense mechanism. I don't know what to say or do. I have experience with people who drink and I wont allow myself to be hurt by alcohol relationships anymore. I want to know what I can do to help her, I want her to realize I am on her side and love her like family, that she has so much good and potential in her but I don't know what to say so it just makes me angry at her and myself.
sb129 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Hey- I know what you are going thru. I don't have time right now to type all the stuff out, but I found the Alcoholics Anonymous website really helpful. Its not just for alsoholics themselves, but for people who have personla relationships with them. There is alot of information and links about how to deal with a loved one who abuses alcohol. Good luck!
Russian_donkey Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 what i find with people (well, one friend i have) who are fairly distant and have problems with their background etc is simply patience. I think your friend WANTS to open up to you, but can't because they aren't used to it. It does suck, because it IS like hitting your head off a brick wall sometimes. My advice is to be the best friend they could ever hope/ask for, without them asking for it. Stay with them, if you can see they are down, stay with them, if they won't talk to you talk at them, be open with them and just basically be a martyr for them. Sounds weird but it is like getting blood out of a stone, but keep it going and you might just make the breakthrough. Empathize with them at all times, too. Don't know if thats good advice, but it worked in my case
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