ankka13 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 hello everyone . i just feel like telling someone what i am going through.i have been in a relationshpi with a younger person for 1 and a half years . i broke it off yesterday , hoping it will give him the chance to evaluate his behaviour and yet he feels hurt and doent call or IM at all. I was the one who always stood by him , supported him through everything , helpd him a lot with his issues , helped him out financially , giving him all my attention .He was the one i lived for , and he was not giving back any of it . He loved me , maybe he still does. He spent as much time as he could with me , telling me how much he loves me through text messages almost every hour when we were appart , he was very jelous for absolutely no reason , he didnt want anything near me just himself , i was getting jelous too , because he showed himself bothered if i talked with male colleagues so i naturally did the same when he talked with female colleagues , hoping he would realise how stupid we were for doing so . But it only cause big fights but always getting back together the same day .i had been going through some serios problems and i needed his support , i was desperate and i thought he would make me feel better , yet he tryed to proove i have nothing to worry about and always talked about his problems with me . I started to feel frustrated and during the past month i pointed out almost every day how bad that made me feel . On valentines day it was the final attitude that made me go mad . I bought this person expensive gifts always on every occasion , never expecting back because i knew he did not have money and i assumed if he would have been in my shoes he would do the same for me . On this valentines day i knew he had some money he received from a relative , and i was anxious to feel surprized by him somehow knoing that he now has the means . He simply came to my home and gave me a small teddy bear and that was it , no flowers , no cards , nothing . i bought him my gift and gave it to him before valentines day .It was what he wanted for a long time , a ski equipment . I felt really bad and unvaluable when i saw that bear that i burst into tears , and start acusing him of not appreciating me . He said that for him it was a nice gift which meant he thought about me and i shouldnt judge the gift by its value , yet i feel he finally would have had the chance to show me how much he appreciated the stuff he got from me , and be able to surprise me . So i tell him it is over and call hi a selfish person and that i want to be myself and start loving me a little cause i only focused on his needs and mine did not matter . He tries to kiss me but i reject him and he leave sadly home . Then after some hours he sends me an IM asking me f i loved him , i replied that i do (it wont pass from a moment to the other). Then he asks if i want us back together . I say no i dont . and stay in no contact till the other day . Then he asks me again if i dont want to be with him again because he wants that so bad and he loves me very much , i replied that no i dont and i wont change my mind . he than stops talking to me . Towards the evening i started a conversation with him about something i needed from him urgently , and he answers in a very polite friendly way , not asking about us at all , and keeping the conversation to that level . Since last night i havent heard from him , although he knows i have to go to the hospital tonight for a difficult surgery. I know my post is really long but i would appreciate so much your oppinion on this . Please tell me how can he act so cold ?what is he trying to proove with his behaviour ? is he over me ?so soon? that means he never loved me? i feel so bad and it hurts so much especially now when i am facing this medical problem by myself . Thank you so much for reading.
polywog Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Hi ankka, I'm not sure, from reading your post, if he's truly mad at you. He probably felt bad about your reaction to his gift, either unappreciated by you, or guilty that he didn't buy you something that met your expectations. That being said, a gift is a gesture from the heart, the cost should not be the proof of love, especially since you say he has no money. If he's broke, wouldn't you rather see the money he got from his relative be for him, rather than spent on a fancy gift for you? I don't mean to sound harsh. Good luck with your surgery, & hope that things work out for you & your sweetie.
sueidaho Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 well it sounds like there are mre problems then him being jealous all the time. it sounds like the money problem is an issue. and since you have been dating for 1 1/2 years and he has not had any money during that time are you sure that you want to continue a relationship who can't provide for you??? i think that he is trying to give you space since that is what you asked for and he is trying to get over you since that is what you wanted. sorry he is doing what you asked
resi71 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 the first day is bad but it can last very long time,ups and downs every day.my girl break up with me mid december,it is have been bad,sometimes i get better but now still i get tears and break down.
Cossette4 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Think of it this way....every day you get through is one day further away from the pain and one day closer to the day of being over it and not feeling any pain. Congratulations on being one day closer to that.
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