Arachne Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 Hi, I'm new so: hello everybody! Ok, so... There is a guy on my course, so I've "known him" since October, who I rather like. I really can't tell what sort of feelings he has for me apart from the obvious: He likes to talk to me and we chat about random stuff and various things we have in common. I sometimes feel like something is going on but then he will "ignore" me for lengths of time. By "ignore" I do not mean he actually actively doesn't talk to me, what I mean is he will just be hanging out in different parts of the room and so we probably won't talk. A few days ago I saw him and one of his friends outside classes and I had a feeling he was trying to ask me out, but I am not sure because his friend interrupted us and he didn't mention it again - even afterwards when we were alone we talked about other things and not that. So I really have no clue what his feelings are towards me are on that level. Now, I am well aware that probably I am trying my best to make the situation sound like he likes me more than he actually does, probably because I read into a lot of things more than I should. He does not seem to have any "special" behaviour around me as far as I know that would show he likes me, but then again I may just not be picking up on it. NB: I'm quite a confident person and I like the way I look, I'm comfortable with my body - so I really don't have any issues in that aspect. And from what I can tell he is too. Anyway, I really like the guy so any feedback and ideas of how to handle the situation and how I can find out without exposing my feelings too much if he feels the same. (I think I maybe should start talking to him a bit more that would probably help and maybe even try and sit next to him during lectures but again what signal, if any, will that give him? Probably that I like him, which is a good signal.) Thanks a lot xxx
the_total_package Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 he has been talking to you...you have been receptive to it and talking back. He already knows you like him, the rest is up to him. I would read "He's Just not that Into You" because it says if a guy doesn't ask you out, he's just not that into you. You're doing fine, you're doing him a favor by not being aggressive and making yourself too obvious. If he's REALLY interested, he'll work up the courage and do the deed to ask you out. If he doesn't, he's just not that into you. I would definitely not go out of my way to sit by him at lectures, he should be seeking you out...that is, if he's into you at all.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 I would definitely not go out of my way to sit by him at lectures, he should be seeking you out...that is, if he's into you at all. That's an interesting approach, why do you think he should be doing all the "work"?
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 That's an interesting approach, why do you think he should be doing all the "work"? Because total read that god awful stupid "Hes not that into you" book and has based her entire approach to relationships on some gimmic that some guy is trying to sell for $15.95 That stupid book should be burned and never spoken of again, please for the love of god stop using it for actual advice. Total you are single so it is obviously not working, dont drag anyone else into that hole. The book made you feel good about yourself therefor you bought it, that was the point, to get you to buy it.
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 a man who likes you, will make the effort to seek you out and get a date. if he wanted to sit with her during lectures, he would definitely seek her out in the lecture hall and sit with her. Because that's what boys do when they like girls....I'm guessing that he might see her as just a friend and not want to lead her on, but that is my opinion. He knows she likes him and wants to not lead her on, but wants her as a friend. Just a hunch though, based on the fact he's known her a few months now and has yet to ask her out.
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I don't think you actually read it. There would be a lot less posts of miserable daters out there if they read that book because they wouldn't put so much time and energy wondering why the guy isn't calling too much or showing interest, or treating them like crap. Because total read that god awful stupid "Hes not that into you" book and has based her entire approach to relationships on some gimmic that some guy is trying to sell for $15.95 That stupid book should be burned and never spoken of again, please for the love of god stop using it for actual advice. Total you are single so it is obviously not working, dont drag anyone else into that hole. The book made you feel good about yourself therefor you bought it, that was the point, to get you to buy it.
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I don't think you actually read it. There would be a lot less posts of miserable daters out there if they read that book because they wouldn't put so much time and energy wondering why the guy isn't calling too much or showing interest, or treating them like crap. No, I read it, the entire point was "Women, you dont have to do ANYTHING AT ALL, men will break their backs camping out under your window if they really want to be with you, and they will know they want to be with you instantly the moment they see you, therefore you never ever EVER need to initiate ANYTHING, just sit back and let the men come to you!" This is ridiculous, its just crap meant to make you feel good about why hes not calling you.
Topper Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I hate violence I really do but somebody should take that guy who wrote that book into a back ally and beat his sorry butt into the ground. TTPackage you need intervention. Step away from the book. The Book it is a bad. bad, bad, book. You post the wrose dating advice. I have ever seen. Nuns might be better at dating.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 This is ridiculous... This is ridiculous. I disagree with total so let's move on.
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 post to us in a month and tell us how it went with this guy. I'll be curious to hear about it.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 post to us in a month and tell us how it went with this guy. I'll be curious to hear about it. I will! You post the wrose dating advice. I have ever seen. Nuns might be better at dating. Can you gine me some then?
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I find myself laughing, I mean in a good way, I think you're a funny guy with a great sense of humor and I'd totally hang out with you, maybe be attracted to you (don't know your age though) and you add a lot to the boards... guess we'll have to agree to disagree though on some things. I hate violence I really do but somebody should take that guy who wrote that book into a back ally and beat his sorry butt into the ground. TTPackage you need intervention. Step away from the book. The Book it is a bad. bad, bad, book. You post the wrose dating advice. I have ever seen. Nuns might be better at dating.
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I disagree with total so let's move on. Ok then Maybe your guy is just shy or does not know how to go about asking you out, its not an easy thing to do for every man. I think you should make it really really easy for him to ask you out, something along the lines of "Yeah I really want to go see (insert name of movie or band) but no one wants to go with me and I dont want to go alone" If hes got half a brain hell jump all that invitation.
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Ok then If hes got half a brain hell jump all that invitation. Only if he's into her. My question is, if he's so taken with her already, why hasn't he asked her to a movie yet after knowing her 4 months?
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 Ok then Maybe your guy is just shy or does not know how to go about asking you out, its not an easy thing to do for every man. I think you should make it really really easy for him to ask you out, something along the lines of "Yeah I really want to go see (insert name of movie or band) but no one wants to go with me and I dont want to go alone" If hes got half a brain hell jump all that invitation. Yeah, that's what I was kinda going to do but more like we're going to go and see so and so and do you fancy joining us? Only because the better option: what you suggested can't be used because I've already arranged with other people to go to the place anyway. I will ask him if he wants to join us since he lives basically 30 seconds away AND we could meet up before we go as in a few minutes before till we walk to the place as well. That kind of fits perfectly with what I was doing anyway this weekend... Oh, forgot to mention I added him on msn as well and we had a talk this afternoon as well. So, I dunno...
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Only if he's into her. My question is, if he's so taken with her already, why hasn't he asked her to a movie yet after knowing her 4 months? You do realize that people do not fall madly in love after a few months of sitting across the lecture hall from each other don't you? As I have already said, asking someone out is not something that everyone is really comfortable about doing, especially younger guys that dont have much experience. Sometimes you need to work with whoever you are interested in, you cant just sit back and rely on everyone to fit some stupid mold of dating.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 Only if he's into her. My question is, if he's so taken with her already, why hasn't he asked her to a movie yet after knowing her 4 months? That's quite a good question but we haven't been actually talking that much since this week...
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 You do realize that people do not fall madly in love after a few months of sitting across the lecture hall from each other don't you? That's very true and also he might not have properly noticed me anyway, he has not really gotten to know me at all and it's not like attraction is based purely on looks anyway!
Topper Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Are you flirting with me? Toying with my emotions? I'm glad you see my humor. Yes I tease you ................. so how old do you want me to be?
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 So basically general advice seems to be to show him I'm interested, since I have not so far, and to try and make it easy for him to ask me out, if that's what he wishes... Ok, I'll report back when I do that, which will probably be during the course of Friday and also possibly via msn.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 Are you flirting with me? Toying with my emotions? I'm glad you see my humor. Yes I tease you ................. so how old do you want me to be? I'm a bit confused. What are you talking about?
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I think your plan is a good one. You could also offer to study with him, thats what I always did if I was interested in someone in one of my classes. Now I'm married to one of those guys.
Author Arachne Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 I think your plan is a good one. You could also offer to study with him, thats what I always did if I was interested in someone in one of my classes. Now I'm married to one of those guys. Sounds good, he also lives right next to my flat as well. Maybe that could be next week though! Anyway, cheers - I'm so sleepy I think I'll go to bed, as I said I will update you asap.
the_total_package Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Yes I really like your sense of humor and 'cut the bs' attitude. maybe you can get me to burn my relationship books. lol Are you flirting with me? Toying with my emotions? I'm glad you see my humor. Yes I tease you ................. so how old do you want me to be?
Topper Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 You knew I need to be careful with you because after all you read the " book" But you have to ask yourself Did he read the Book I juts might be one step ahead............... But then I don't play games.
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