Quiet Robert Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 I have another post going about my situation. If leaving is the answer, how do I leave w/o looking like the ass who walked out on his family? IF I leave, I will leaving her, not the kids. I can raise these kids w/o her. I have a very strong, old-fashioned up-bringing that marriage is forever, but I am not even sure that is it fixable and I have a moral (for lack of a better work) issue with D. I almost feel an obligation to stay, but I am very unhappy and do not feel like i am even married anymore.
Poboy Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 i read the other thread ... i think your wife may be having post natal depression , im assuming she is taking zoloft for that ... is it walking out just like that shows immaturity on your part. apart from all the medical stuff , you need to work on improving the relationship with her , talk to her whats going on in her head regarding you , the marriage. counselling is the next step if you really want to make this marriage work ( with her involved also ) so first get the medical stuff done and then you can take it from there...
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 15, 2007 Author Posted February 15, 2007 But I can't force her to do it. As the other thread said, she knows where to go to fix it, she just won't. She does not want to be bothered with taking the time to do anything about it. She was on Zoloft BEFORE the kids. She is on it for OCD, depression, and anxiety attacks. She got back on it after our daughter was born because she got super crazy. the problem is she does not take her meds like she is supposed to. She claims she stopped taking them last time because she thought it would help the sex thing, but she did not tell me she did it and she just got bitchy. She knows how to fix herself, she just won't. It is not just the medical side that I am tired of. It is the lazy, selfish, and unwillingness to change. She was seeing someone for counseling a bit last year, then just quit going and has not gone back. She acts like she does not care anymore.
Poboy Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 hmmm , this is a tough sitaution you are in with her being inconsiderate & the kids and all... i think she needs a reality check that you are bothered to the point of leaving her ... you must let her know how you feel right now about her and how this marriage is not working from your perspective and you might even walk out ... maybe she will realise then and do the necessary to get her act straight. There is definitely lack of communication between the two of you and she doesnt understand of your mental state... if she doesnt get that , you need to communicate that to her and then act accordingly before doing anything drastic like walking out and leaving everyone high & dry... just my advice and lets hope you get more advice here from others... hang in there
MoonGirl Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 QR, In order for you to feel like you did everything you could to save your marriage, you should do everything you can. That way, if you decide to end your marriage, you can look back and know that you really tried to save it. You'll have very few doubts that you did the wrong thing by leaving. Leaving is not easy...it took me 2 years to leave after I started thinking about it. I know the guilt, the fear of the unknown, all of it. I suggest seeing a therapist. He or she can help you work through what you need to do in an attempt to save your marriage, and then help you work on overcoming the guilt and fear of leaving if that's what you decide to do. I saw a therapist for 5 months before I was able to leave my husband.
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