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Is it too soon or am I worried for no reason?


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Posted

I've been seperated from my wife for 2 months now (we were together for 6 years), when she left me for someone else (Thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109896/ )

This isn't my first break up of a long term relationship (certainly my first, and hopefully last divorce), but it is the first where I was not only aware of an affair, but where I had it crammed down my throat.

 

There are a couple of women I find attractive with whom I have been flirting. The flirting boosts my ego and self-esteen, but still I feel so dead inside. I converse with them about everything easier than I ever remember convesing with my wife about anything yet I feel nothing.

 

I'm through with the anger and I no longer think of my wife as much, although, I do still have nightmares about her every now and then plus I truly do hope she has found the happiness she couldn't find with me. I occasionally get sad, but I'm starting to miss that warmth and love of woman laying next to me with her head on my chest or just holding hands and here I am unable to return it.

 

I want to feel something, but I'm getting so scared that I won't be able to open my heart to anyone again. Perhaps I'm rushing myself or is it possible to really get so jaded?

Will I ever get those butterfly in the stomach feelings again? I don't remember ever taking this long.

Posted

It's the ending of a marriage, plus the whole affair thing - it's going to take a lot longer than two months for you to feel "normal" again and be able to feel those butterflies.

 

But you will feel them again, when you're ready. Take it easy, and don't try to rush through the stages of grief. You may find that you'll take a couple of steps back sometimes and the pain will come back, but you'll be getting better over time.

 

Don't worry - you will love again.

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