Biscotto Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hello there, I am new and I was hoping you'd be able to give me some wise words. At the end of October, I split up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. We weren't compatible and emotionally he was very unavailable. I was upset on the day we broke up but I coped with it pretty well thereafter. Just got on with my life and have become more and more confident in myself as the weeks have worn on. He did dent my confidence by always picking on me and putting me down. In the meantime, I was making new friends and it was all good fun. I met this particular girl and we became good friends very quickly. However, a few weeks ago, she told me something she could have worked out herself without involving me because it involved me. I don't want to go into detail but I trusted her as a friend and I felt very weird afterwards. We carried on as normal but I just couldn't get it out of my head. It all came to head on Saturday when she heard me talking about the situation to my oldest friend in the toilet. She expected me to tell no one... when her words had affected me. Anyway she hit the roof, I apologised but said I felt too uncomfortable to continue the friendship. I feel bad but that's how I feel. I can't lie to myself about whether or not I like someone... Before that went on a few dates with a guy who seemed extremely keen who then decided he only wanted to be friends. Fair enough although confusing but it's unearthed all sorts of things and now I can't stop thinking about my ex. I know in my heart of hearts that he's no good for me but I still miss him and I just feel really really down. It's so unlike me, I am usually really upbeat, I have loads of plans and I am happy. But lately, the zest of life has been taken out of me... Not sure what advice I am looking for, but I just want to be happy again... Thank you for reading. B x
bigcat Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Well.. You can try this... I find that dating many different men helps take exes off my mind. Soon enough I am bombarded with so many text messages from pursuers, it's hard to keep track of 'em. Another way that may help your situation is to find a hobby you can engross yourself in, like an escape from reality. Think about things you're passionate about that make you feel good. I find that listening to rock music, stomping around, bobbing my head, and playing air guitar does my mind some good once in awhile. Or, maybe you should start critisizing and putting down your ex in your head. Sour grape technique works wonders. "#$%$ing jackass. Go to hell. Who the $%$@ you think you are, huh b'tch!! I can do better than you!" Soon enough you will be forgetting your unworthy ex.
Author Biscotto Posted February 14, 2007 Author Posted February 14, 2007 I don't feel ready to date though. I'd rather be alone than in bad company if you see what I mean!! I also have lots of hobbies - yoga, knitting, reading and I am about to start dressmaking. I have lots of plans etc... but I have such an overwhelming sense of sadness. Like the recent events have made me feel inadequate, stupid and ugly. I MUST CHEER UP!
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