ratingsguy Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm on day 10 of NC, and I've made up my mind that I want to speak with a professional about the situation with my MW... mainly for support and some good advice. I'm not about to jump off a bridge or anything, but I do think seeing someone would be helpful since this experience has taken an emotional toll on me. Since this is all very new to me, does anyone have any advice about who or what I should be looking for specifically? I've never sought out professional help before and I've never had any mental health issues.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Unfortunately sometimes it takes more that one try to find one that is right for YOU!(therapist, I mean) Good luck, and VERY smart move. Wishing you well honey and hoping that you get all that YOU deserve out of life! And Happy Valentines Day! Make it (what I call) a Templeton's Day! He was the RAT in Charlottes Web, only did what made HIM happy! Blessings! K
Island Girl Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Just keep in mind they all have different styles so you may have to go to a few to find a fit. Just think about it, you test drive a car you'd like to buy - this is someone you are going to allow into your head so to speak.
Faith2 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 In past years, I've used a therapist's help a few times to guide me through the stages of loss (death), and now I'm seeing a therapist because of the breakup of my relationship, which is just as deep a loss as death. Seeing a therapist over a breakup doesn't have anything to do with a "mental health" problem, so if you're worried about that stigma, don't be. In fact, it's one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. It also saves a lot of wear and tear on your friends. As far as finding someone, you can start by asking your medical doctor for a recommendation. If you belong to an HMO, they'll have a separate department for psychotherapy, which you can contact directly for an appointment. If you have a trusted friend you can confide in, ask them for a recommendation. Don't expect your therapist to give you advice. Rather, their job is to get to the root of your issues and then bring you to a state of clarity so you can make your own best decisions. On the remote chance that you find a therapist who doesn't quite "get" you, just be straightforward and say so. A good therapist will either adjust the method of talking with you or find a better match for you with someone else.
Craig Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Psychology Today: Find A Therapist in the search box then click "I'm feeling lucky"
frannie Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'd say do a little research first about the different types of therapies (cognitive, or a more talk-based therapy), and ask questions of your potential therapist before you sign up. Ask yourself what your aims are: short-term getting through this time, or longer-term dealing with issues that may have led you to where you are now. Also, don't forget there are a lot of self-help books that might get you thinking about the way you approach relationships, if you feel you have specific issues (codependency, commitment problems or whatever).
PoshPrincess Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'd say do a little research first about the different types of therapies (cognitive, or a more talk-based therapy), and ask questions of your potential therapist before you sign up. Ask yourself what your aims are: short-term getting through this time, or longer-term dealing with issues that may have led you to where you are now. I agree. I saw a therapist for about 5 or 6 months and although it was good to have someone to talk to I don't think it was the type of therapy I was looking for so I say, yes, do some research before you get into anything. I guess it depends on whether you feel you have underlying issues which lead you into a R with a MP in the first place. I know I have lots of issues I need to deal with and have been recommended cognitive behaviour therapy. The therapy I WAS having was more me chatting and her listening and, to be honest, I can do that with my friends & family. Some people, of course, may not have been able to discuss their A with anyone, in which case someone to talk to would be a good idea. It's always good to get things off your chest.
Motor35 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hi Ratings! A therapist is a great idea! Do you think you might need meds? If not, any clinical psychologist will be ok. If you think you might need meds, go for a psychatrist. I see a psychologist for psychotherapy and I also see a psychatrist, which is more of a med management program. Do you have insurance? A general care doctor could probably recommend a great program for you.
Jinxx Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Hi RG -- Going through the NC thing myself so am there right along with you. Wishing you the best of luck on finding the right therapist.
Author ratingsguy Posted February 15, 2007 Author Posted February 15, 2007 Thanks for all the great suggestions. I don't think I'll need medication... and would probably not be interested in going on any meds right now. I spoke with a few psychologists on the phone today and have set an appointment for tomorrow with one of them. She seemed really receptive on the phone and I'm looking forward to speaking with her. This is something new for me, so wish me luck!
movinon05 Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 I think one happy hour with the Phanatic at Bennie the Bums, and you'll be back to your old self!
puddleofmud Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 Best wishes to you RG! So glad that you are placing yourself "first" and seeking what is best for YOU... This speaks so wonderfully for you as a person: as you are willing to seek guidance and support to be a better person. I wish you well and that you find a good "fit" with a counselor. Stay in touch, we are all here for you!
JamesM Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 As someone who used a therapist over seventeen years ago, I can say that you will be helped. I was going through a very confusing time, and simply having someone to whom I could talk made a huge difference. I think this benefit alone will be of help too you as well.
Author ratingsguy Posted February 16, 2007 Author Posted February 16, 2007 I think one happy hour with the Phanatic at Bennie the Bums, and you'll be back to your old self! The only problem is that the Hilton doesn't allow ATVs in the lobby!
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