Rose21 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I went through the worst time today. We were together for over 5 years now. Things have been a bit rocky and confusing. But when we were in the car in front of my house today and he was telling me he wanted to be single so he can clear his mind, that he feels really confused, will always be there for me, take our time just as friends... Blah blah I was so ready to just get out of the car while I still had my cool, but I didn’t have the heart to walk off. So I stayed and listened to what he had to say. I tried to ask some questions, but the more I talked, the more I lost it. By the time I left his car I was crying so hard I couldn’t even talk. He called a few minutes later to see if I was ok. I was still crying just as hard. We talked more on the phone and then he said he would call later. Well he hasn’t called. I’m actually feeling a bit better now. After I let out all these tears and then took a nap, my emotions went way down. It’s hard to explain. I wish I was feeling this way when we were talking earlier instead of being a blubbering fool. No I didn’t bed or plead; I just wanted to talk out our break-up and ended up breaking down so badly, I must have look so desperate! I guess it’s just hard after so many years together and tomorrow is V-Day. I’m not mad about that though, at least he came out with his feelings when he came to a decision and didn’t act fake just for the day. Anyway, I imagine that’s why he’s not calling. He’s letting me calm down and clear my head? I’m just would really like for him to know in a voicemail or something since I know his phone will be on silent soon while he sleeps (not these words but so that he knows) I’m feeling much better, I’m actually thinking this break-up will help us both so much even if it brings us closer together or apart, and that I’ll be fine!!! I hope this post is clear. I just feel so foolish for breaking down and crying so hard. I bet he’s thinking I’m rolled up in a ball still bawling my eyes out. Man I wish I left when I first had the urge of emotions instead of sitting there trying to get words out. Ugh. So since it’s the same day would it be good to say something like above? Then do NC from after that message? What would you say if you did leave a message? What would you be thinking if you SO reacted this way to a break? I’m so confused. I apologize for the length and appreciate any responses.
Cossette4 Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 As for feeling foolish that you "lost it" in the car, you really can't act any other way other than "losing it" when someone you loved for 5 years tells you he wants to be single and you never saw it coming. I did the exact same thing when my boyfriend of 5 years told me "We are just different" OVER THE PHONE when we were on opposite sides of the United States and he had just been out to visit me 2 weeks before. Yeah I felt "dumb" having a spasm over the phone....felt "dumber" when I called him back and left sobbing voice messages.... It's normal to react and feel that way, and you have every right to cry and get out what you want to say. From your post, it sounds like he's being pretty mature and respectful, so you should be glad because many people are absolute douchebags and won't even let you say what you need to say or see you face to face (ahem...my ex...cough). Don't beat yourself up about it--breakups suck and they huuuuurt. If you were in a job interview and they said "Sorry, you aren't the person we are looking for," you would be a weird psycho for breaking down and crying...but in a breakup, you are 100% normal. Try NC as soon as possible though for your own sake, b/c the more you talk to him, the more you risk having more "losing it" moments.
polywog Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Underpants, Cossette gave you great advice. I have nothing more to add, except my sympathy, it does suck, and in my opinion you were doing what any of us with hearts would do... I've certainly just been there myself! Please take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, you deserve it! LS bunnies for strength: :bunny: :bunny: polywog
KittenMoon Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I can relate. My ex of 6 years broke it off with me last year two days before VDay. It was morning when it happened, we had just gotten up. I cried so hard for a while, which gave me a migraine so bad I couldn't do anything except sit very still the whole day. Couldn't even cry it hurt so bad. Your emotions are natural, you did nothing wrong by letting them out in front of him. Beware the lessening of them- you may be in shock, and the full weight of this may come slamming down later. I can tell you a year later I still feel the pain every single day. I don't say this to scare you, rather demonstrate to you that significant long term relationships can cause a lot of significant long term feelings.
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