pjean Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I am not use to this internet stuff so please bare with me. Currently, I find myself alone. I was not sure where to post since I am currently not seeing anyone, but my whole life I have been the OW. Not that my life is over, but I am now 53 years old. I have lead an exciting life. I dating many men over my years, traveled, jewlery, vacations, clothes, etc. I honestly never worked. I have three children by three different men, one of which was given up for adoption. Married men still seek sexual relationships with me, but not like they did when I was in my twentys. I have just been hit with the reality of all the drinking, smoking, drugs (cocaine was very big in the 70s), and partying have taken their toll on me. I look in the mirror and see an old hard looking woman. I have no self-esteem, my children dont talk to me, and all I have in this world is my dog. While I cant have the pretty men I had back in my time I can still get married men to take care of me, not in the lifestyle that they did when I was young, but they still would provide for me. I want to get away from living like this. I dont want to depend on a man for my livelihood. But, it is all I have ever known. I know it is wrong to sleep with married men, but they came to me. I dont know how to be anything else, other than a kept woman. And, men just are keeping us as well as they use to? Or maybe I am just used up?
GreenEyedLady Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I'm not sure how to address your questions except to say this: I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND MY TWO CHILDREN...I am highly educated and have a wonderful career that I love... You should be asking yourself: what do I WANT out of life? When I divorced my XH I made sure I would NEVER NEED a man to take care of me...maybe you should work on becoming self-sufficient...
norajane Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 Becoming self-sufficient is the best way out of your trap. I'd suggest taking some classes that will help you get a job. Start out with some computer classes to help you get the hang of the internet thing - most jobs require computer skills. With all the traveling you've done, you can try working for a travel agency. Or maybe you can get into real estate sales, since I'm guessing you have an outgoing personality. Perhaps you'd be good at being a personal shopper at an upscale department store? Once you get on your feet, I'd also suggest therapy, to help you figure out what's been going on with you that you have been satisfied with the kind of life you've been living up til now. And to help you with your self-esteem. Then you can work on making amends with your children. Good luck to you.
frannie Posted February 14, 2007 Posted February 14, 2007 I think a lot of women coming out of a marriage or long-term relationship, or even widowed can feel some of the same things you say you're feeling. You're not alone, you're not old, and you're not used up. Welcome to the forum.
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